Never-Before-Heard And Completely Mundane Tales Of Andre The Giant

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There are few figures who loom as large in the public consciousness as Andre the Giant. The stories about him are legendary. We’ve all heard about how much he could drink in one sitting, we’ve heard about him carrying Arnold Schwarzenegger like a child, and we’ve heard about how he went to the bathroom in a bathtub while on tour. But what about some of the less legendary tales of Andre’s life? We have to keep those stories alive, too. On that note, here are some of the not-so-legendary tales of Andre the Giant.

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That Time Someone Got His Order Wrong

As a young boy, Andre’s family went on holiday to Hamburg, Germany. After the long train ride, Andre was very hungry, so he ordered a bratwurst from a stand in the train station with his meager allowance. He asked the vendor not to put mustard on his bratwurst, as mustard disgusted Andre ever since he threw up a sandwich at school the previous fall. The vendor, not understanding French, put extra mustard on the Bratwurst. Andre had to eat the Bratwurst, and found it to be delicious. Andre loved mustard from that day on.

That Time He Gave Someone The Time

While walking to Madison Square Garden, a very hurried businessman approached Andre the Giant. The man clocked Andre’s unusual size for a moment, but quickly got wrapped up in his own problems again. “This is urgent. Do you have the time?” said the man. Andre checked his watch and said, “It’s about 6:40, boss.” “Thank goodness,” said the man as he rushed passed Andre, “I can still make that train!” Andre hoped the man made it.

 

That Time He Politely Ate Cookies He Didn’t Really Like

While on the set of The Princess Bride, Andre saw a plate of Oreo cookies at craft services. He was tired from the day, as he was shooting his fight scene with Cary Elwes. He thought a few cookies would be a nice treat. Once he ate them, he was dissatisfied. The craft service person informed him that they were Hydrox cookies, which are cookies that look and taste a lot like Oreos, but aren’t. Andre pretended to enjoy them, so as not to disappoint the craft service person. The next day, the Hydrox cookies were replaced with Oreos, and neither Andre nor the craft service person made a big deal out of it.

The Night He Drank Moderately

Andre the Giant once had two glasses of wine with dinner.

 

When He Reassured A Stranger On A Plane

While flying to Houston, Andre’s plane hit terrible turbulence. There was a nun across the aisle from him. She had never flown before, and was quite scared. Andre held her hand until the turbulence was over.

That Time He Waved At A Seal In The St. Louis Zoo

Andre once visited the St. Louis zoo. He flew into St. Louis a day early so he could take his time looking at the animals. There was a seal exhibit where you could go down into a fake cave and look at the seals swimming around through glass. Andre had to crouch slightly in the cave. One of the seals saw Andre and swam right up to him. Andre waved his massive hand and the seal waved back. Andre looked around to check if anyone had seen what happened, but no one had.

Images: WWE.com


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Matt Mazany: Matt Mazany is a director, writer, and producer living in Los Angeles. Matt has two emmy nominations for his work on Funny or Die’s Gay of Thrones starring Jonathan Van Ness. Matt also developed Funny or Die’s pilot program, Test Tube, in which he produced 16 sketch pilots (3 of which he directed). Matt currently is freelancing in Los Angeles and raising his polydactyl cat, Juno.

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