On Friday, a framed canvas version of rogue street artist Banksy’s famous painting, Girl With Balloon, sold at auction for $1.1 million, only to immediately self-destruct when a mechanism within the frame shred the piece upon sale.   Because you are doubtlessly a collector of fine art, and that man clearly has a finite number […]

Today’s morning routine: ELLA GALE Here at Bunny Ears, we’ve loved working with this Los Angeles based “comedian” and freelance writer. She has walloped us with her passion for everything from corsetry to green juice. Ella Gale lives in Hollywood (heard of it?) with a mounted deer skull named Buckminster Skuller and whichever of her […]

Welcome to Bunny Ears Essentials! Today, our topic is abiogenesis, the origin of life in the form of simple organic compounds that arise from inorganic or non-living substances. Abiogenesis likely occurred over 3.5 billion years ago on Earth. (Don’t come at us with your panspermia hypothesis bullshit!) But don’t be fooled by how long it’s been—abiogenesis […]

Look, I get it. The water in the sensory deprivation tank I loaned to the Bunny Ears office is very soothing. It plunges your mind into a deep state of meditative contemplation. The salinity of the water that keeps you suspended on the surface is as close to feeling the weightlessness of space as you’ll […]

Healing crystals are the perfect synthesis of science and metaphysics. It’s only natural to want to add that to your extant self-care routine of getting blitzed on giggle greens all day. Fortunately for you, crystal pipes fuse the natural vibrational energy of quartz with the swift rush of that dank herb. Choosing Your Crystal Pipe […]

Ladies, we all have a magnificent mergirl inside us just waiting to burst out. (A hot one, obviously, with super nice abs and no arm fat—not at all like those weird Harry Potter ones.) And if your authentic merlass is waiting for her merdebut, we want to help! That’s why we’ve talked to doctors – […]

We know you’re probably sick of reading lemon-stuffing articles. Almost every lifestyle blog has been pumping these out like, well, butt lemons. But we promise this definitive guide to lemon stuffing will be the last article you ever have to read about stuffing lemons up your butt! Bunny Ears has your back (which will soon […]

Hello, everyone! Since you’re all too busy to read my emails, I’m making this a public post on the site. Perhaps now you’ll pay attention. So: I think we can all agree we’ve been feeling a little spiritually stifled, right? How long has it been since any of you have undergone a good detox? Well, […]

There’s a lot of pressure to go green these days, and with good reason. It’s important to be seen doing your part to save the environment. I guess you could also quietly implement a recycling program and cut back on air travel, but if you want to really take advantage of all the ways saving […]

Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide, our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. This week we’ll be taking you through: The Beginner’s Guide To Using Your Three Magic Wishes First off, CONGRATULATIONS! As much as the media wants you to believe that […]

It can be hard to express your true feelings. That’s why inspirational quotes are so great! Why think of something poignant yourself when you could just use Google? When it’s hard for me to find the words I need all I have to do is turn to Instagram where I can find exactly what I […]

Ain’t no party like an office party ’cause an office party is necessary to your livelihood! At the Bunny Ears office, we have an office party every 15 minutes to boost morale, consisting of an IV cleanse and a mandatory meditation seminar. For those of you who don’t work at the healthiest place on Earth, here […]

Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide to [Blank], our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. Life is full of exciting opportunities, and while it’s fine to tackle a new adventure on your own, we here at Bunny Ears know that it’s better […]

Hi, everyone! I’m sorry for posting this so publicly, but I know you’re all very busy people who are rarely even in the same country at the same time and that Katie and Lydia actually cancel each other out if they’re in the same room. Also, none of you will give me your real email addresses. […]

My life is so hectic that I need all my nutrients crammed into me as efficiently as possible. That’s why I never leave the house before having my protein shake suppository inserted. I got so excited when my dog sitter’s doula told me about the wonders of Sujuk that I just needed to buy the […]

I had no intention of ever buying a scarf that retailed for $500 until Oprah Winfrey cyberbullied me to do so for weeks. It was one of the most harrowing experiences of my life. Here’s how Oprah cyberbullied me. I had never spoken to Oprah and I never thought I would. You can only imagine […]

A few weeks ago I was challenged by Bunny Ears’ editor-in-chief Shawn DePasquale to not mention my star sign to anyone for an entire day (it’s Leo). “You want me to not mention my star sign TO ANYONE for 24 whole hours and write about it?” I asked. He sighed deeply and replied “I guess if […]

My son is an incredible cellist. He’s been getting full-ride scholarships from the likes of Julliard, the New England Conservatory, and the Yale School of Music since he was in 6th grade. He’s given private solo performances for 3 presidents, 2 crown princes, and a Duke. He was being showered with roses after playing Bach’s […]

This story starts out familiar enough, with a declined credit card purchase attempt. This sort of thing happens more often than I would prefer, but this time, I was completely sure I had the money I needed in the account. The money was just deposited the day before. After some digging, it became clear that […]

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Welcome to the third ever Bunny Ears advice column, where Bunny Ears staff submit questions, and other Bunny Ears staff provide answers. Neither party knew who was asking or answering their questions. Until now … ] Q – Kelly Wallace-Barnhill I have taken on so many projects and have so much to get done that […]

Back-to-school season is right around the corner, and we might as well warn you now: Your roommate is definitely gonna try to fuck in front of you. Here are some screens. Legacy Decor 4-Panel Plum Blossom Screen Room Divider, Black   4 Panel Wood Mesh Woven Design Folding Wooden Screen Room Divider Rose Home Fashion […]

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Unfortunately, the Bunny Ears Office Dog is stepping down from his role, so our HR Department asked him to provide his thoughts on his time here, as well as on the work environment in general. He had a lot to say.] Name and Position? Descarti B. 2 years old. Barketing Coordinator. Why are […]

We all feel those summer blues, when the sun is hot, the beach is crowded with commoners, and the long afternoons seem to stretch on with nothing to fill our ample free time. That’s why summer is the perfect time to dive headfirst into a new hobby or interest like it’s going to be the […]

I work so hard watching my nanny, Sarah, put together bento box lunches for my children and smiling and nodding when my husband Gregory talks about his “business.” I don’t know exactly what he does and I think, for legal purposes, that I don’t want to. I really just tune out whenever he’s speaking. Anyway, […]

Hi, my name is Daniel O’Brien, and I am a hiker, Escape Room–avoider, and author, but before all that, many years ago, I was a camp counselor. I worked at a summer camp in Old Bridge, New Jersey for several years, and I still look back on the experience with tremendous fondness. I got to […]

Minimalism is here to stay. What’s the point of filling your domicile with meaningless junk when there’s no point to anything? If you’re ready to dive into the design style that answers the question “what brings me joy?” with “almost nothing,” here’s a few rules of thumb for making your dwelling look as empty as […]

If you follow most holistic healing blogs, odds are you’ve stumbled upon the phrase “dry body brushing” at least once or twice. For the uninitiated, dry brushing is exactly what it sounds like: You stroke your skin once or twice daily with a soft-bristled brush with the intention of exfoliating your epidermis and stimulating your […]

For some people, the shower is a place of absolute comfort where you can sing, formulate insane Fresh Prince fan theories, or even shed a few tears without judgment. For others, the shower is a place of vulnerability, where the ultimate embarrassment or a knife-wielding maniac is only separated by the tug of a curtain. […]

This year, as you’re polishing off the ol’ family machete for your traditional summer camp killing spree, keep in mind how the world is changing. Some of your behavior on past killing sprees is now considered unacceptable. That’s always been the case, according to Mother, but if you don’t start making the following changes, you’ll […]

Kidneys, you gotta have em. Some people think just one is acceptable but here at Bunny Ears we highly recommend at least two. MC himself has four on him at all times. We wanted to take a moment today to slow down and dish about the hippest vital organ in everyone’s body. Kidneys Filter Your Blood This […]

Let’s get something straight: I am not rich. It’s like my mother always says, “You aren’t truly wealthy unless you don’t have any keys.” Rich people have their own non-rich people to handle things like doors. Now, to be fair, I don’t have a lot of keys. I just have the key to my house […]

It’s such an honor to be asked to speak at your friend’s wedding, but it can also be very stressful. Right now, I’m attempting to put down a few words on paper about my lifelong friend, Jennifer, and of course, I’m having that classic problem: trying not to mention that she ate her twin in […]

Creative types, listen up: It might be nice doing what your heart desires, but you’ll never make any money that way. Do you really think you’re going to be able to find success with your emotional, patient lifestyle when there are so many other lifestyles willing to please everyone else in your life? It’s about […]

Heads up, this article contains Amazon Affiliate links. That means if you buy some stuff they’ll give us money. Which helps us pay our writers and stuff. So … maybe click links and buy junk!  It’s summertime, and you know what that means! Once again, my Church Of Vestigial Glory will be holding its annual […]

We get pretty excited around here when a new health and beauty trend sweeps the nation. It gives us the chance to write off excessive pampering sessions as a work expense. (You’ll never catch us, Uncle Sam!) Our latest obsession might sound a little dangerous at first, but trust us, it’s only very dangerous. This […]

Many food companies will try to promise you “guilt-free” snacking with “healthy” snack alternatives but let’s get real here: there is no guiltless snacking. When Eve took that bite of the apple back in Bible times, God’s wrath descended upon humans and decreed “Thou shalt not snack unless you feel immediate regret. I mean good […]

Blue Ivy. Baby Jessica. The weirdly sexualized Coppertone toddler being molested by a dog. These iconic cover-babies didn’t become household names by accident.  (Well, Baby Jessica falling into the well was probably an accident, but it got her international attention!) Unfortunately, as these babies get older and less squishy, they tend to fall off the […]

Modern science says it takes 30 days to build a new habit, and only 14 days to break one. I have put this into practice and I’m ready to share how I have stopped texting and driving and started driving and masturbating. Texting while driving is a senseless act, but female masturbation should always be celebrated. When life hands you a lemon in the form of an ‘are you […]

These refined, often floral perfumes are timeless classics. They will make you feel sophisticated and chic and also remind you that grandma is dead forever. Scent is the strongest sense tied to memory, so spray some of the below fragrances on that hot young bod and remind yourself that grandma’s never coming back! 1.) Chanel […]

Are you a Hogwarts fan? Are you sick of being antagonized by people telling you to “read another book”? Is your life and family in danger of financial ruin because of your addiction to writing Harry Potter fanfic? If you answered “yes” to any or all of these questions (and obviously you did), the Bunny […]

My husband and I decided to throw a gender reveal party to reveal to our unwoke friends and family that gender is just a social construct. At first they were pretty confused when the gender reveal trebuchet flung only hunks of raw chicken instead of the pink or blue confetti they were promised. When I […]

This weekend, I watched my friend get married.  Waiting in line to greet the bride and groom, I overheard some of the best wedding advice from an attending cousin from Florida: “Got a hole? Fill a hole.”  Most of my helpful advice is delivered with my middle finger, but when faced with a blushing bride […]

An ancient and terrifying power lurks inside you… congratulations, you are about to give birth to a baby! Now you must announce the coming of your child to the world, so that all inhabitants of earth may prepare themselves for your spawn’s unbridled potential. And what better way to do that than a gender reveal […]