Travel Guide: A Creepy Chocolate Factory For Which You’ve Won A Tour
Read this guide / when you slide / to a world of fear and trepidation.
Beautiful Places In The World To Wake Up On Purpose This Time
People say it’s not about the destination but the journey to get there—but I say as long as you made it there in one piece, who cares how it happened.
Valentine’s Day Trips To Make You Realize You Never Loved Each Other
Here are some recommendations for weekend trips that will make this Valentines Day unforgettable. Even if it means you’ll never forget how bad it was.
Macaulay Culkin’s Pointed Guide To New Orleans
New Orleans celebrates Mardi Gras the two weeks before Shrove Tuesday, which is … when?
Macaulay Culkin’s Pointed Guide To Las Vegas
If you’re in Vegas, you’re going to end up with the body of a dead hooker – either accidentally or on purpose, so it’s best to plan ahead!
Luxurious Ski Resorts You Couldn’t Get Into, So Actually Nevermind
You probably wouldn’t even know what to do if you did get into one anyway.
Ice Hotels to Visit Now Before They Melt And Probably Catch Fire
Be prepared to pay one billion dollars for that second checked bag, because things are about to get crazy.
Travel Guide: Night Vale
I don’t really know how I ended up in Night Vale. No one here does. One day, you just find yourself there.
The Best Illegal Souvenirs From Around The World (That Aren’t Shirts)
Because fuck shirts. Except ours, you should buy ours with that link to your right.
The Best Places in Calgary to Make Fun of Canadians
And so I’ve fulfilled all legal requirements to write off this trip on my taxes!
The Best Places to Find Inner Peace And Hopefully An Affair
How do you decide where to go to find inner peace and hopefully an affair with someone whose voice doesn’t make you wish you would just die already.
I Traveled The World And Didn’t Learn A Fucking Thing About Myself
It isn’t worth it, just stay home.
Five Rite Aids You MUST Visit Before You Die
Stop what you’re doing, grab your travel journal, and take note, ’cause I’m going to run down the five Rite Aids you MUST visit before you eat the big one.
We Can’t Get Enough Of These 5 Celebrity-Recommended Tax Havens
When celebs spill the beans on the best countries to open an offshore bank account to hide their wealth from different governments, we’re here for it.
A Tour Guide Of The Places Where Men Have Dumped Me
When it comes to men, I’ve been around the neighborhood a few times, if you know what I mean. What I mean is that I have been dumped by various men in various places in the town where I live throughout the years. Come with me, if you like, as I relive this journey and […]
All The Best Places To Visit Before You Die Next Week
In Ancient Greece, it was known that the true hero is one who journeys to die without hesitation, but with strength and purpose. Which is why it’s actually super good news that you’re dying next week! You’ve got seven whole days to imbue your life with strength and purpose, and gain the little “hero” badge […]
Travel Guide: An Incredible Hotel Where You Can Stay Forever
Years ago, I found this amazing hotel, and it is my distinct pleasure to share it with you now. I found it while I was road-tripping through California. I don’t remember exactly where—all I know is that it was located on a dark desert highway. It was unseasonably cool, and the fragrant wind was blowing […]
The Perfect 10 Days In Chile’s San José Copper–Gold Mine
While known for its volcanic mountaintops, the true treasure of Chile lies not in the peaks – but rather a secret far below. It’s no wonder that some say the country acquired its name from the Quechua word for “the deepest point of the Earth”. Earlier this summer myself and four close friends took a […]
How To Get Out Of Your Gym Membership By Starting A New Life At Sea
Joining a gym can be a great way to stay in shape, keep your mind focused, and tone your body. However, when you read the super-fine print (barely visible to the naked eye) you’ll often discover that you’ve entered into a five-year, uncompromising contract with the fitness center in question, and no feasible way to […]
I Solved All My Problems By Avoiding Them On The Pacific Crest Trail
Recently, I hit rock bottom. I think it all started as a child when my parents divorced, and it amplified in my adult years when my mother died. I know these are things most people “work through” at some point in their lives, but I don’t believe in therapy and no amount of crystals were […]
How To Not Look Too Rich While Traveling In A Foreign Country
So you’re interested in traveling in a foreign country —specifically a developing nation—but you’re afraid your MacBook and designer jeans might make you stand out just a tad too much? Have no fear, for we know exactly what to do to temporarily poor-ify your digs and make you blend in like a precious upper-middle-class baby […]
The Best Adult Summer Camps Conveniently Located Within The Perimeter Of My Inescapable Arizona Compound
Millennials are reportedly the least likely generation to consider themselves religious. And as the proud leader of my own legally-defined church, I find it greatly disheartening that this new generation appears to worship their Beyoncés and Andrew Garfields over the one true God. And considering the oppression my divine faith has received from the so-called […]
The Hottest New Trend In Wellness: Which Tracheotomy Bar Is Right For You?
We get pretty excited around here when a new health and beauty trend sweeps the nation. It gives us the chance to write off excessive pampering sessions as a work expense. (You’ll never catch us, Uncle Sam!) Our latest obsession might sound a little dangerous at first, but trust us, it’s only very dangerous. This […]
How To Get That Beachy Summer Look To Make People Think You Have Time For Vacations
It’s that time of year again! Summer—when the days are getting longer and the air smells of sunscreen and pit sweat. And while the season is almost synonymous with vacation-time, there’s plenty of us out there who realistically won’t be taking any time off. Maybe you don’t trust your incompetent coworkers enough to keep your […]
Visit Centralia, PA: The Ideal Destination Spa Spot!
Are you bored of your usual spa vacations to dull tropical paradises? When you’ve seen one white sand beach, you’ve seen them all. The incessant crashing of waves and squawking of seabirds can turn your spa retreat into a spa defeat. That’s why you should plan your next spacation at our hidden gem: the Centralia […]
Travel the World Without Leaving Home With One Totally Insane Trick
At ten a.m. I was in London, taking in the sights of Trafalgar Square. 20 minutes later, I was on the outskirts of Paris, awaiting freshly cooked crepes from the country’s finest pastry chef. By noon, I found myself in Japan, experiencing state-of-the-art technology designed specifically to clean my fartbox. This technology would later come […]
We Can’t Get Over This Tiny House’s Adorable Tiny Eviction Notice
The idea that tiny houses are more affordable is a common misconception. If you put your mind to it, there’s no reason you can’t live beyond your means in less than 200 square feet of space. Beth and Mike Swendell found that out the hard way when they were recently evicted from a handcrafted, Nordic-accented tiny […]
The Trendiest Places To Find Dead Mobsters in New Jersey
As a resident of the great state of New Jersey, I’m often asked, “Is New Jersey as bad as everyone says it is?” And good news: There’s plenty of cool stuff to enjoy in New Jersey if you know where to look. However, don’t look too hard, or you just might find a dead body! […]
Lavish Vacation Spots To Visit When You’re On The Run From The Securities and Exchange Commission
When you’re on the run from the Securities and Exchange Commission after orchestrating a massive fraudulent initial coin offering of your cryptocurrency, Skankcoin, you’re not going to hide out in some shack in Montana where there are more deer than mojitos. You earned the nearly $1 billion those dumb crypto-bros gave you of their own […]
Taking Your Daughter On Vacation, No Matter What the Judge Says
Have you and your daughter been drifting apart? Growing up is tough and can put a strain on a mother-daughter relationship, as can the mania and depression caused by your bipolar disorder. What better way to bridge the divide than to whisk her away on the tropical road trip of a lifetime! Sure, you could […]
Travel Guide: The Best Places to Cry In This Target
Whenever I’m home in Missoula, Montana and I find myself in need — whether I’m finally ready for new curtains or having a serious emotional crisis—I head on down to the local Target. Contained within these hallowed halls is everything you could possibly want (except fresh food, you have to cross the street to the […]
I Found Out About This Thing Called “The Bus” And It’s Wild!
So, here’s the story of how I stumbled upon this cool thing called “the bus:” it all started last week when I had to get my private plane and BMWs serviced at the same time. Ugh! Everyone’s worst nightmare! Even worse, my chauffeur was on “leave” for “emergency heart surgery.” Such an unreliable man. I […]
The Commuter’s Guide to Bridge Trolls
[Editor’s Note: This article is not related to the Liam Neeson action vehicle “The Commuter”; Bunny Ears would like to apologize for any inconvenience this poses to our readers.] It’s hard to argue that there is a greater pain to anyone in the modern day working class than the commute. Just think about all the […]
TRAVEL GUIDE: The Scenic Route Through The San Fernando Valley
It’s a sun-drenched, hungover afternoon. Dr. Nick Roth, PhD, lifetime resident of Hollywood and all-star contributor here at Bunny Ears, dives headfirst along with his wife Lindsey into the most enviable assignment of the season: take off for the day from their Hollywood Hills home to scout out the quaint strip-mall sushi, charming strip-mall art […]
What To See in Asia If You’re Pressed For Time And Only Interested In Bragging on Social Media
So, you’ve been given the exciting opportunity to travel to Asia, huh? Congratulations! But let us guess—your time there is limited, and you’re unsure of what sights and experiences you should prioritize so you can score some sick social media pics. That’s understandable, because Asia is huge! It has over five countries, and they all […]
Meadows Farm Eatery: Shenandoah Valley’s Best-Kept Secret
As a devoted foodie and restaurant critic, it’s not often I get to say I’ve had a culinary experience that truly rocked my world and pushed the borders of what I consider fine dining. But this past Saturday, while driving to visit some relatives out in rural Virginia’s Shenandoah Valley, I stumbled upon a down-to-earth, […]
Things I found in a Las Vegas Swimming Pool and the Vivid Tales Behind Them
Ah, Las Vegas. It might be loud, stinky, and induce epilepsy, but where else can you go to end up with several hundred fewer dollars and a collection of poorly lit photos you don’t remember taking? My favorite part of this debaucherous destination are the daytime recovery sessions. I like to submerge myself in a lukewarm […]
Vegas On A School Teacher’s Budget
Despite all the glitz and glamour that comes to mind when you think of Las Vegas, the truth is you don’t have to be a high-roller to have a memorable Vegas experience! I recently visited Sin City with my best gal pals from Backwood Pines Middle School to bring you this insider’s guide to an […]
Anyone Can Travel The World And Blog Just Like Me!
Do you long to see the world, but are stuck in a job that’s sucking the life out of you? Do you vacillate between looking at pictures of Bali and praying for the sweet release of death? I was like you once. But now instead of working to travel, I travel to work. And today, […]
Travel Guide – Places You Can Rollerblade To In My Drug Dealer’s Neighborhood
Are you feeling the traveling bug, but your busy schedule won’t allow it? Do you wish you could just blow off your whole day and go sightseeing, without having to spend a small fortune, most of which is already earmarked for your upcoming custody hearing, on airfare and lodging? Heck, do you just want to […]
#Getaway: The New Vacation Everyone Needs To Take
Let’s face it: in 2018, what even is a great vacation anymore? Destination trips are filled with unpleasant surprises, from last second price hikes, children being eaten by alligators, and fucking sand. Likewise, it’s increasingly difficult to find the time, what with more and more millennials taking gigs and second jobs just for the opportunity […]
Katie Goldin’s Golden Rules
Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They're weird, they're funny, and they're always so pretty! The Goldin Rules…