How To Make Sure Your Neighbors Notice Your Secret Sex Dungeon
For too long it’s been the norm to keep one’s sex shenanigans secret from thy neighbor. No more, we say. No more.
Common Board Games For Building A Lifelong Rivalry Between Your Kids
Risk doesn’t have to be the only game that tears families apart! With a little manipulating even checkers can have your kiddos start a lifelong rivalry that’ll jumpstart them to greatness!
It Takes A Village: Why Our Staff Is Really A Small Village Of Orphans
They’re working for exposure so we started off by exposing them to the measles!
Ways To Find Love Before You Die Tragically On Valentine’s Day
If you gotta go, you gotta go mourned eternally by someone who found true love just to have it slip through their fingers by the cruelty of fate (and that double-decker bus.)
Sex Tips Your Husband Wanted Us To Pass Along … If That’s Cool
Full disclosure, your husband emailed to us because your sex life sounds like a mess.
Yes, My Child is a Rescue. It’s The Humane Thing To Do
If you breed your children, you’re literally worse than a hypothetical love child made from the union of Hitler and Stalin, who was then was nannied by Pol Pot.
Duolingo Courses Now Teach You How To Talk To Poors
Now the little green owl will guilt you into learning the language of the lowly and the downtrodden!
I Connected With My Deceased Father By Touching His Thermostat
He’s not a crime solving ghost, or a prophetic warning ghost. He’s just a cheap ghost.
Cut Down On Screen Time by Mad Dogging Strangers!
Glaring at strangers is the newest most innovative way to cut out time wasted on your phone.
Be The Most Fascinating Person at The Party By Drinking Mulled Urine
Hear me out, I don’t like the taste of piss. But I do like how it makes me appear interesting.
Sex Positions That Will Shock The Ghost Of That Victorian Prude
The spirit of Desdemona Turnerwood thinks you’re “vile, truly vile!”
I’m Wearing This Cone To Better Empathize With My Dog
I will not let my beautiful border collie suffer alone!
Get The Attention You Deserve By Faking A Pregnancy (Again)
This is your special time! Turn every possible opportunity into your favor.
Choosing The Right PR Firm For Your Racist Kids
With the right team of professionals, your child can avoid any and all consequences.
Redirect Your Anxiety Into Your Children To Make Them Stronger
Because why shouldn’t they learn from your fears?
Lydia Tries It! Shutting Up About Meghan Markle For Five Minutes
Wow! This is the hardest task I’ve ever tried to tackle for Bunny Ears you guys.
It’s Never Too Late To Start Planning Your Parents’ Funerals
Yes, even seventeen months after they died in that tragic safari giraffe stampede accident.
The Modern Loneliness Epidemic That’s Affecting You And Only You
No one else feels lonely. Ever. It’s just you, the person reading this piece right now.
My Resolution Is To Be A Better Person So I Chose Jane from Accounting
Everyone loves Jane. No one likes me. So, Jane seemed like the perfect resolution.
Conquer Your Kid’s Fear of the Dark by Criticizing Them All Day
It won’t be long before your child starts to crave the dark. No more crying when you put them to bed!
This Year I’ll Finally Finish Bricking My Nemesis Behind That Wall
Building a tiny walled prison is one of those chores that demands attention but doesn’t excite your passion.
Relationship Advice: How Do I Get A Daddy Like Santa?
Santa is the ultimate space daddy and now you may want to get your own but stay away!
Is It Gay If My Husband Swallows A Gingerbread Man?
If my husband so much as touches a Christmas cookie again I’m leaving!
Woo Your Future Mate With The Seductive Art Of Whale Screaming
And don’t forget to buy my companion book!
Which Christmas Tree Is Right For Your Empty, Loveless Apartment?
Deck the halls with a perfect Christmas tree, you absolutely miserable bastard.
Holiday Dating Hack: Just Fuck Your Cousins?
Same time, same place, same genetics. Eh, with modern dating, who has time to care about all three?
Let Go Of Toxic Relationships: Ignore The Homeless Kittens In Your Shed
When was the last time a litter of helpless newborn kittens did anything nice for YOU?
Finding Myself: Why I Joined A Gang Of Sewer-Dwelling Martial Artists
It started when I saw three mysterious figures dancing around a barrel fire in the sewer.
Holiday Party Idea: Pushing Over Children At The Skating Rink
We need a fun and competitive blood sport that combines hockey with a dash of child abuse.
How To Be A ‘Cool Aunt’ Just To Get Revenge On Your Sibling
Revenge on your sibling should fuel most of your life decisions.
Forgiveness: My Husband Won’t Let me Throw A Birthday Party For My Dog
I am strong, and I can forgive. Just like Ghandi.
Make Eye Contact With The Groupon People In Your Pilates Class
At Bunny Ears we’re all about finding new ways to give back while still putting yourself first
Our Take On Israel/Palestine Because For Some Reason You Keep Asking
We are always happy to address questions raised by our fans, even when the issue is controversial.
Goddess Problems: When The Pegasus You Summoned Is Kind Of A Dick
Sometimes your pegasus is a god damn pegadick.
Protect Our Nation’s Forests So I Have A Place to Play Pretend Witch
Thirty percent of the world’s area is covered in forest, yet miles and miles of trees are bulldozed every year to accommodate the agriculture industry, housing developments, and our favorite stationary products from Paper Source. Ugh, guilty! Their stuff is so cute! But not only does this destruction ruin natural animal habitats and increase the […]
Holiday Messages To Let Your Black Friend Know You Don’t See Color
“Boy, do I miss Obama! Merry X-Mas!”
Katie Goldin’s Golden Rules
Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They're weird, they're funny, and they're always so pretty! The Goldin Rules…