Everything We Want In The Inevitable C+C Music Factory Biopic

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Hollywood has recently produced a slew of movies about the lives of rock stars: Bohemian Rhapsody, Rocketman, and The Dirt—to name just a few. And hopefully, this filmmaking trend will lead to the movie we all actually want; the one about the most important band of all time: C+C Music Factory. And these are all the things we want to see covered if the movie becomes a reality.

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We want to see the actual Music Factory.

You can’t make a C+C Music Factory biopic without showing us the Music Factory. It all goes back to 1989, specifically in the abandoned pipe organ factory where the future band members first met. The place had great acoustics, so singer Zelma Davis went there to practice. The emptiness afforded rapper/dancer Freedom Williams the space to practice his moves. Producer David Cole used the place to stage shows for his thrash-metal band, Chøde. Robert Civillés, who’d just inherited the place, showed up one day when all the others happened to be there, too. The foursome hit it off, formed a band, and made the music factory into their Music Factory.  (We’re also going to need a montage of the group painting the factory and high-fiving when it’s done.)

We want to know what “C+C” really stands for.

Many think that the “C+C” in “C+C Music Factory” means “Cole and Civillés,” but I hope the movie doesn’t peddle that corporate bull-plop, because the letters actually stand for “Cemetery” and “Consecration.” For it was atop the sacred grave of a deceased high priest in the Church of Evil where the members of C+C Music Factory shed a drop of blood each onto the holy dirt below, thus summoning Satan. Yes, C+C Music Factory sold their souls to the devil in exchange for success, even though they didn’t really need to (they’re so talented!).

And also the tragic story behind their biggest hit.

In 1991, C+C Music Factory hit #1 on the pop charts—and stayed there for a record 43 weeks with “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now).” It’s crucial that the C+C Music Factory biopic, which should and will be titled Gonna Make You Sweat, dramatizes the inspiration behind this song. As every true C+CMFer knows, Freedom Williams collapsed while performing “Things That Make You Go Hmmm…” during a 1990 taping of MTV’s The Grind. Rushed to a hospital, a doctor gave Williams his diagnosis: hyperhidrosis—or overactive sweat glands. (Williams’ had an especially severe case, which makes you sweat until you bleed).

Williams didn’t break down in tears (he literally couldn’t, as his sweat glands stole the moisture from the rest of his body). Instead, he channelled his emotional pain into his art. And within five minutes, history—aka “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)”—was made.

Images: Columbia Records


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Brian Boone: Brian Boone writes comedy and trivia on the internet and in books, which is like the old timey internet. He shamed his family by losing on Jeopardy.
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