…Big dick energy drink selling poorly…
…Local white guy “gets it”…
…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…
…Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…
…Sugar daddy eaten by ants…
…Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…
…13th month discovered between February and March….
…Email From Mom Has 4 FWDs In Subject Line…
…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…
…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…
…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …
…Unusually Buff Dog Not Breaking Eye Contact…
…Update: Only very tiny hats now cool…
…Breaking: Absolutely no one wang chunging tonight…
…6 Year Online Romance Ends In Weird Handshake…
…Hospital Cracks Down On Patients Getting Chemo For Fun…
…Man pretty sure Game Of Thrones is historically accurate…
…’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…
…Spoiler alert: The milk has gone bad…
…Violent Pokémon dispute sparks trade war…
…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…
…Survey finds startling amount of ghosts are racist….
…Quiz: Is This The Good Milk?…
…Single 32 Year Old Patiently Waits For Friends To Get Divorced…
…Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…
…Adult Hearing Mom Use Their Full Name Still Terrified…
…Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…
…Local Couple Adopts Blind Dogs And Just Puts Them Down…
…Millennials Are Disrupting The Banjo Industry…
…Research shows laughter definitely not the best medicine…
…New Boyfriend Eats Imitation Crab Straight From The Package…
…Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…
…According to studies studying causes cancer…
…Half The World’s Bees Have Never Seen The Show Seinfeld…
…Single Woman Manages To Meet Food Delivery Minimum…
…Woman With Scoliosis Has Detailed Knowledge Of Floor-…
…Am I standing right behind you? The answer might surprise you!…
…Woman Memorizes Snapple Fact In Case Tonight’s Party Is That Bad…
…Chill Girlfriend Constantly Suppressing Everything…
…Scientists find that deja vu is just alternate timeline of you dying…
…Report reveals Rice-A-Roni actually from Detroit…
…Against All Odds, Man Learns To Dance…
… Michael Jordan Comes Out Of Retirement To Dunk On Angela Merkel…
…Very smart toilet begs for death…
…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…
…Man discovers woman already knows thing he was going to tell her….
…Reported discovery of new planet turns out to be your mom…
…A New Generation Of Turtles Are Learning Martial Arts…
…Did Tupac fake his birth?…
…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….
…According to studies accordions are unsteady…
…Drugs In Water Supply Treat Fish’s Depression…
…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…
…Study: Loss Of Car Leads To 1000% Catcalling Increase…
…Shazaam not a real movie…Google it…
…Breaking – There’s A Spider In Your Pocket…
…Hurricane wipes out town of Duckberg…
…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…

The Goldin Rules

January 9, 2019

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