Styles Everyone Will Be Wearing When The Dystopian Regime Commands It

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Fashion is all about showing off who you are. Until the Great Struggle takes place and our current government is replaced with a new, dystopian regime. Best Leader’s going to implement a strict dress code for all citizens of the Supreme State. And here’s what hot trends you’ll be wearing once the revolution comes—because you’ll literally have no choice.

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1.) A Formless, Unisex Jumpsuit

Beige coveralls that give you the figure of a potato will be all the rage post-revolution, because they’re the only thing anyone will have permission to wear. They’re meant for every body, but look good on no body. Fashion should not make one person superior over another. All are equal. To show we are all brothers, we must all wear the same thing. To sexualize the body is like saying we are no better than animals, and that is not what Best Leader wants for us. But feel free to have fun with it!

 

2.) Heavy Shoes

No outfit is complete without the perfect shoes, like the clunky, weighted boots the government mandates that all citizens wear at all times. Citizens must not run away to the Forests of Banishment, for that is where the rebels live. The rebels are bad. Because of Best Leader, we all live in peace. The rebels want to take that away. We must all wear our weighted shoes so we do not give in to the temptation of running. Plus, they come in two super flattering colors: brown and different brown. How on trend is that?

3.) Hand Tracking Implants

When the Fashion Committee planned the Outfit For All Citizens, our Brothers and Sisters didn’t forget about acc-ess-or-ies! Like the implant in your hand that lets Best Leader know where you are at every moment. Who says having the totalitarian regime track your every move can’t be chic? Please report who said that. We will find them and put them on trial for thoughtcrime.

Images: Pexels/Kohl’s/Village Hat Shop/Pickaxe


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Heidi Lux: Writer/Comedienne/Lady King who has written for Reductress, McSweeneys, CollegeHumor, The Belladonnas, and Smosh
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