Hey, do you smell that? What is that? Well, whatever it is, it’s been getting worse for a while now. Do you know where it’s coming from? Have you checked underneath the furniture? In the vents? If you go over by the outside wall, it gets stronger. No, do not go over there. Can you call someone? Who are you supposed to call when something like this happens? Well, here are some festive fall scents to cover up the smell until you figure out what’s going on.
Cinnamon
I just thought of something. Remember how it rained on Easter? We had to do the big Easter egg hunt for all the kids inside. Most of the eggs were chocolate, but we hid some real eggs, too. Do you think one rolled into the vent and got stuck, and it’s just been slowly rotting? Oh, also, yeah, maybe try cinnamon.
Pumpkin
You know, I don’t think it smells like eggs after all. It lacks the sulfur. But I am getting a whiff of rotting flesh. Did maybe a raccoon or something crawl in through the dryer exhaust duct and get stuck inside the bowels of the house? In the meantime, try this pumpkin-scented candle, I guess?
Maple
I Googled “weird house smell” and somebody said that it could be burning electrical wires. That’s only if it smells like urine, though. It kind of smells like urine, but your cats are disgusting, so it’s still unclear. Here’s some maple. It might actually make things worse, though.
Firewood
Promise not to freak out? I just talked to my dad and explained the situation, and he thinks you have a backed up sewage line. His best friend Larry is a plumber so he kind of knows what he’s talking about. My honest recommendation at this point is to burn it all down. I mean, it’s either sewage or a body, and either way it’s just gonna be a really bad scene for you. Plus, the burning wood of your former home will smell so good.
Good luck!
Image: Unsplash