It’s almost Halloween, which means it’s costume-crunch-time for you and your boo. And while finding the perfect couple’s costume is hard in the best of times, it’s especially tough when you and your S.O. want a costume that also communicates you’re in an open marriage. Luckily, finding something fun and festive that says, “I’m committed to one partner, but we are in The Lifestyle/looking for a third” is easier than it sounds. Read on for our suggestions!
1. American Electric Plug & European Outlet
You’ve seen the incredibly wonderful and not-at-all hacky “electric plug and outlet” costume that features the plug on the man’s crotch and the outlet on the woman’s whole body, right? Hilarious! Well, take this same concept, and make it European.
Partygoers will notice how the outlet’s holes don’t quite match the prongs of the plug. This will be the perfect conversation starter to eventually segue into the following pitch: “You know, my spouse and I belong together, but we need a ‘power adapter’ in order to truly connect and get charged.” Someone looking to be your third will definitely get the hint. Or not. If not, then both you and your partner should just look at your prospect dead in the eye and say, “Hey, wanna fuck us both?”
2. A “BL Minus-the-T”
Nothing says, “We’re looking for a ripe and juicy tomato for our fuckwich” like a bacon & lettuce couples costume. While admittedly confusing at first, this will spark conversation about the missing tomato in your BLT ensemble. It also allows you to make puns and innuendo like “Ba-Can we ask you a question?” and “Lettuce have sex with you.”
3. Just the Cookie Parts of an Oreo
“Where’s the cream filling?” says every person at the party.
“Maybe it’s you,” says you and your partner.
4. Straight-Up Unicorn Hunters
Go to the nearest Cabela’s hunting goods store, buy two full camouflage outfits, and douse them with glitter and sequins. Bring your love guns to the Halloween party and flat out say, “We’re hunting for unicorns, you know, the fuck kind.” People will respect you and your spouse’s united front in finding sex outside your marriage, and they’ll likely help you find the unicorn you so (so) desperately seek.
Or, you know, just have fun at the party and hit up Tinder later. Halloween makes people do crazy things.
Image: Walmart, Amazon, Arencollection.com, HalloweenCostumes.com, HalloweenCostumes.com, Walmart