Healthy and Delicious Veggies That Will Make You Feel Like You’re Looking at Deepak Chopra

It’s rumored that Sigmund Freud once said, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” We get you, Sigmund. Trying to find deeper meaning in random things is a fool’s errand – unless you’re talking about healthy and delicious vegetables that will make you feel like you’re looking at Deepak Chopra. I know I’m not the only person who feels so healthy and centered around vegetables they see Deepak Chopra in them. This is a thing.

When you look at a picture of some radishes, you’re reminded of Deepak’s belief that there are no extra pieces in the universe. (Right? It’s not just me?) Everyone is here because he or she has a purpose. Just like these radishes that are on this Earth to make you think, “Man, I could really go for a radish about now.”

Like Deepak says, “Our minds influence the key activity of the brain, which then influences everything; perception, cognition, thoughts and feelings, personal relationships; they’re all a projection of you.”

No. You’re wrong, Deepak. When we look at these crisp, healthy tomatoes, our brains see a projection of you.

You can get lost staring deep into these peas for hours thinking about Deepak. But you must remember that ultimate spiritual awareness unfolds when you’re flexible and spontaneous. So when you’re done with the peas, maybe look at a different picture of vegetables that remind you of Deepak Chopra.

When Deepak says that dynamic activity and deep rest of the mind are complementary to each other, he’s talking about the wildfire of Deepak-related thoughts you feel about this picture of cauliflower and the state of bliss that immediately follows after looking at it. That’s nothing to be ashamed of. Like Deepak says, “Nothing is more important than reconnecting with your bliss.” Cauliflower = Depak = Bliss.

Okay, but for real: these bell peppers are shaped just like Deepak Chopra’s head. Uncanny.

Look at these eggplants. Be aware of these eggplants. It is in the awareness of these eggplants that we achieve a spiritual transcendence that stills time. That’s some straight up Deepak shit right there.

You’re going to make a lot of choices in life but you can only make good choices if you’re surrounded by an environment that rewards and encourages such decisions. As you look at this broccoli, know that you are in a positive Deepak environment. Feel free to make a good choice.

Having basil suddenly thrown into the mix keeps us on our toes by reminding us that Deepak is all about there being no fixed physical reality and therefore no single perception of the world. Basil is an herb, not a vegetable, but only if you perceive it that way. Right on, Deepak.

These carrots look an awful lot like Deepak Chopra’s fingers. Oh, the words of wisdom our man Deepak must be typing with those carrot fingers right now.

When you look at these onion slices you can’t help but think of Deepak’s glasses. Yes, his glasses are rectangular. But those round slices next to each other look like glasses which remind you that Deepak wears glasses. That’s more than enough to overcome the whole rectangular glasses thing. Good thing, too, because now you’re thinking about Deepak Chopra.

Eating all these vegetables might be a delicious way to take care of our bodies, but as you look at them amassed together like this remember that Deepak Chopra believes the real secret is to let our bodies take care of us. Goddamn, Deepak. Goddamn.