Things I found in a Las Vegas Swimming Pool and the Vivid Tales Behind Them
Ah, Las Vegas. It might be loud, stinky, and induce epilepsy, but where else can you go to end up with several hundred fewer dollars and a collection of poorly lit photos you don’t remember taking?
My favorite part of this debaucherous destination are the daytime recovery sessions. I like to submerge myself in a lukewarm swimming pool surrounded by failed reality TV stars while a DJ with too many vowels in their name spins remixes of Bruno Mars. On my most recent trip, I dove beneath the oil-slicked surface to find out what people leave behind in a Las Vegas swimming pool, and the stories behind these mysterious items.
Oh my god, I love miniatures! I found this teeny, tiny bag. Isn’t it so cute? I’ve never seen one like it before, so I’m not quite sure what it does. We are in Vegas, the city of sin! Maybe someone only had one or two gambling chips left and wanted to keep them dry.
I asked around, looking for the owner of the tiny bag. Finally, I found a man frantically patting his swim trunk pockets like you do when you can’t find your phone. I asked if it was his, and at first, his eyes lit up. But then he pointed out that it was empty, and I offered to dive to the bottom to look for his poker chip. He vehemently declined, stating that he’s never seen this tiny bag in his life. Suit yourself! Looks like my Polly Pockets have a new sleeping bag.
Next up – a surprisingly thorough collection of wet escort cards. I think I know why these were in the pool – I’ve seen the new generation of escort advertisement services, and they have entered the future. They went digital! That’s right, men are walking around with digital screens on their backs advertising women for you to “spend time” with. Leaving the quirky collector’s cards of yesteryear to become obsolete. Just one more industry lost to the digital world. I was drawn to one featured employee named Bethani. She looked like a great listener, but it was hard to tell since half of her head was washed away by the chlorine.
The fanciest item I found in the pool was a mystery tiki glass – who would let such a thing go? I decided to investigate and looked up the company stamped on the bottom of the glass. It led me to Jammyland, a new bar in the Las Vegas Arts District, the developing area between the strip and downtown.
Once I arrived, I headed to the bar, where I was treated to a Mai Tai for recovering one of their custom Mai Tai glasses. I enjoyed it in their outdoor area near a large fire pit. It was so pleasant that I decided to stay for a daiquiri. Did you know that daiquiris are not meant to come out of a frozen slushie machine? I didn’t, but the folks at the bar didn’t hold it against me. I experienced an Original Daiquiri and maybe 3 or 4 other rum-heavy beverages before I was magically transported back to my bed. Or at least that’s the next thing I remember.
Well, Las Vegas, my skin feels like it’s too tight on my body and my hair follicles are screaming, so – until next time!
What’s your favorite thing about Vegas? Let us know what to check out in the comments or on twitter!
IMAGES: author’s own, public domain, By Kevdo (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], via Wikimedia Commons