What’s In Mack’s Medicine Cabinet? Oh, It’s A Bunch Of Dead Parrots

Exciting news, everyone! I got exclusive permission from the head of this website to give you a list of all his secret health-boosting tips. As in I got to go through Macaulay Culkin’s medicine cabinet!

I have to admit, I was kind of weirded out when I opened it up it and it was just full of dead parrots. I asked him what was with all of the dead parrots, and he just whispered “Parrots are healthy.” I was like “These parrots obviously aren’t healthy, Mack, because they’re dead.” Then he said “Lot of cats in this house” and faded into a darkened hallway.

I’m in kind of an awkward position because I’ve already been paid for this, so I guess I’ll just move around these parrots and see if there’s anything else in here.

Parrot Poop

Wow, there’s really not. I’m supposed to write at least 350 words on what’s in this cabinet, but it’s pretty well and truly summed up in the sentence “A bunch of dead parrots.” I’d say he’s got maybe 75 total in here. It’s a lot of very dead parrots. There’s also some bird poop, so that’s another thing.

A Book On How To Care For Parrots

It’s called How To Keep Several Dozen Exotic Birds Alive And Happy. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say maybe don’t pick that one up.

A Note That Says “Beware The Parrot Closet”

The note fell out of the book. I knew Mack was still standing in the darkened hallways because I could hear him loudly eating some kind of breakfast cereal, so I asked “Um, where is the parrot closet, Mack?” He emerged from the shadows with his cereal bowl and whispered “Shhhh.”

That’s all I found. Just a ton of dead parrots and dead parrot accessories. I’m supposed to link some of the products I found in his medicine cabinet at the bottom, but ethically and legally, I don’t think I can.

So … there you have it … the contents of Macaulay Culkin’s medicine cabinet. Sorry?

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