Forget Forest Bathing: Try Our New Nature Shower!

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Forest bathing—as in, spending time in nature for its therapeutic benefits—is one of the hottest self-care trends of the year. But what if you don’t have time to bask among the trees? Whether you’re a professional with a packed schedule or a parent with an endless list of chores, it just isn’t feasible to spend hours listening to the song of the wind. Yes, we’re aware that technically the “whole point” of forest bathing is to reprioritize your time so that you can actually enjoy life, but who has time to reevaluate their time management? That’s where our exciting new nature shower comes in.

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The nature shower allows you to enjoy a brief but intense blast of pine needles, sap, leaves, and bugs, all from the comfort of home. Commune with nature in convenience, then get back to your busy day. Let’s be honest: You only need like five, maybe 10 minutes at most to appreciate your little place within a complicated ecosystem and the infinite cosmos beyond. Add any more time and you just tend to drift into an intense reflection on where your life is heading, and who wants that headache? Besides, stray shreds of bark and insects will cling to you for hours after your nature shower, so it’s like you’re bringing little bits of relaxing nature with you to the budget meeting and the grocery store.

So forget the hassle of going out into the wilderness, because nature showering literally couldn’t be any easier than we’ve made it. Just buy our $399 Soothing Scenery Shower and place it in a location that you don’t mind getting a little messy (we recommend a backyard or unfinished basement). Then feed one Standardized Shower Unit into the hopper (sold individually or by the dozen), strip naked, put on your Nature Appreciation Goggles (not included), stand at a safe distance, and pull the trigger. You’ll be relaxed before you know it!

Best of all, unlike bathing in the same local forest that, let’s face it, gets pretty darn repetitive after a few visits, every nature shower is a surprise. Will you get oak today? Or maybe pine? Will any wasps be in this one? There’s only one way to find out!

Images: Pexels/DrPower.com


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Mark Hill: Mark has written for Cracked, the Modern Rogue, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, the Atlantic, Motherboard, the Daily Dot, and a bunch of other places that he can't remember off the top of his head. He also writes most of the nation's grocery lists.
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