…Most Rocks Are Walnuts…
…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…
…Ambitious Widower Gets Stages Of Grief Down To Four…
…Blood Drive Cookie Tastes Like Blood…
…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…
…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…
…70 Percent Of Americans Don’t Get Enough Sheep…
…Gap Year Spent Working At The Gap…
…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…
…Prophecies Of Nostradamus’ Page-A-Day Calendar Ends On March 9th…
…Trail Mix Sustains Man For Journey To, From Trail Mix Bowl…
…Mayor Doesn’t Declare Opposite Day…
…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…
…Netflix Adds Fifth Movie…
…It’s Cool To Wear Organs On The Outside Now…
…Kid Rock Now Available In Menthol…
…Everyone In Hardware Store Clearly Planning A Murder…
…Shazaam not a real movie…Google it…
…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…
…Michelle Obama Spotted Sneaking Vegetables Into Sleeping Kids’ Mouths…
…Hitler Pleads With Time Travelers To Stop Killing Him…
…According to studies accordions are unsteady…
…Fun Run Isn’t…
…Man Finds Mannequin Far Too Attractive…
…Lady In Old House In Neighborhood Not Witch, Just Regular Murderer…
…California Bans Genetically Modified Farmers…
…Overweight Hipster Dieting Ironically…
…Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…
…Scientists Discover That Human Body Is Disgusting…
…RC Cola Secret Recipe Kept In Open Shoebox In Headquarters Lobby…
…Tampax Introduces Pink-Colored Products Just For Women…
…No One Looks Good In Jeans…
…Thing Assumed To Be Chocolate-Filled Turns Out To Be Blueberry-Filled…
…Rest Of Maroon 5 Probably Has Names…
…60-Year-Old Man Doesn’t Feel A Day Over 58…
…Dip Can Be Eaten Without Chips…
…Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…
…KFC Secret Recipe Has Been Inside You All Along…
…Picture Now Worth About 40 Words…
…Devastating New Documentary Changes Nothing…
…Little Bits Of Paper Left On Starburst Counts As Fiber…
…Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…
…Horrible Man Drives Wonderful Car…
…Overweight Hipster Dieting Ironically…
…Best Way To Get Rich: Finding Bag Of Money In Woods…
…Man Who Bought Tampons For Girlfriend Expected More Fawning…
…Community Garden Offers Free, Gross Vegetables To Neighborhood…
…Dems Vow To See Zach Snyder Cut Of Mueller Report Released To Public…
…Below Surface, Small Town Exactly What It Seems…
…6 Year Online Romance Ends In Weird Handshake…
…Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…
…Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…
…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …
…A New Generation Of Turtles Are Learning Martial Arts…
…Thinking Outside The Box Leads To Unimaginable Sorrow…
…Woman Totally Okay With Turning 23…
…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…
…Fancy Teens Start Garage Orchestra…
…Girl Scouts Unveil Four New Flavors Of E-Juice…
…’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…
…Man Experiences The Miracle Of Flight With Powerful Bidet Toilet Attachment…
…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….
…Half The World’s Bees Have Never Seen The Show Seinfeld…