…Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…
…Blood Drive Cookie Tastes Like Blood…
…60-Year-Old Man Doesn’t Feel A Day Over 58…
…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …
…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….
…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…
…Everyone In Hardware Store Clearly Planning A Murder…
…Most Rocks Are Walnuts…
…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…
…Ambitious Widower Gets Stages Of Grief Down To Four…
…Horrible Man Drives Wonderful Car…
…Fancy Teens Start Garage Orchestra…
…70 Percent Of Americans Don’t Get Enough Sheep…
…Girl Scouts Unveil Four New Flavors Of E-Juice…
…Prophecies Of Nostradamus’ Page-A-Day Calendar Ends On March 9th…
…Tampax Introduces Pink-Colored Products Just For Women…
…Devastating New Documentary Changes Nothing…
…Netflix Adds Fifth Movie…
…Rest Of Maroon 5 Probably Has Names…
…6 Year Online Romance Ends In Weird Handshake…
…Thing Assumed To Be Chocolate-Filled Turns Out To Be Blueberry-Filled…
…Dems Vow To See Zach Snyder Cut Of Mueller Report Released To Public…
…Hitler Pleads With Time Travelers To Stop Killing Him…
…Community Garden Offers Free, Gross Vegetables To Neighborhood…
…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…
…Man Experiences The Miracle Of Flight With Powerful Bidet Toilet Attachment…
…Thinking Outside The Box Leads To Unimaginable Sorrow…
…It’s Cool To Wear Organs On The Outside Now…
…Trail Mix Sustains Man For Journey To, From Trail Mix Bowl…
…Fun Run Isn’t…
…Michelle Obama Spotted Sneaking Vegetables Into Sleeping Kids’ Mouths…
…Man Finds Mannequin Far Too Attractive…
…’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…
…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…
…Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…
…A New Generation Of Turtles Are Learning Martial Arts…
…Gap Year Spent Working At The Gap…
…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…
…According to studies accordions are unsteady…
…Picture Now Worth About 40 Words…
…Best Way To Get Rich: Finding Bag Of Money In Woods…
…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…
…Half The World’s Bees Have Never Seen The Show Seinfeld…
…Below Surface, Small Town Exactly What It Seems…
…Woman Totally Okay With Turning 23…
…Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…
…Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…
…KFC Secret Recipe Has Been Inside You All Along…
…California Bans Genetically Modified Farmers…
…Overweight Hipster Dieting Ironically…
…No One Looks Good In Jeans…
…RC Cola Secret Recipe Kept In Open Shoebox In Headquarters Lobby…
…Lady In Old House In Neighborhood Not Witch, Just Regular Murderer…
…Mayor Doesn’t Declare Opposite Day…
…Little Bits Of Paper Left On Starburst Counts As Fiber…
…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…
…Man Who Bought Tampons For Girlfriend Expected More Fawning…
…Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…
…Shazaam not a real movie…Google it…
…Dip Can Be Eaten Without Chips…
…Kid Rock Now Available In Menthol…
…Scientists Discover That Human Body Is Disgusting…
…Overweight Hipster Dieting Ironically…