Small Space Living: I Lived In A Dollhouse For A Month And My Chiropractor Loved It

July 17, 2018 by
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Life is so extra. Hot yoga and influencer parties. Yurts, cockroach milk, and these vagina eggs. Enough already! Taking the time to unplug and unwind can rejuvenate your body and mind. I decided to take a little time to downsize and de-clutter my life and focus what really matters. Small space living is all the rage, so I spent a month living in a dollhouse. I have to say, my life has changed in some unexpected ways.

Purchasing My New Home

My butlers went and bought my dollhouse for under $600 at Hobby Lobby! Look, I know what it’s like to downsize. And I downsized even further than all my friends at the country club. I’m humble! I was thrilled with the economical benefits of such an establishment. The house came unpainted, so I hired some neighborhood children to decorate it before officially moving in. I spent the first night in my own bed. I felt great.

Furnishing Is Just As Important In A Small Space

Small Space Living

Even in small spaces, furnishing is the key to remaining comfortable and healthy. I made sure to get down to basics and remove any unnecessary items. First of all, I needed to be sure I had a comfortable place to sleep. I ordered the most adorable king-size doll bed I could find on Etsy. It was still only about a quarter the size of an actual pillow … let alone a bed. I knew I would have to do some finagling to be able to fit into it. My personal chef, Samantha, knocked off the thin, wooden headboard and I tested out my modified sleeping arrangement. My head still didn’t fit properly, but I found I could balance well enough with my chin and forehead overhanging by a bit at either end.

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Next came my eating and toiletry situations. I settled on packages of cheese crackers and peanut butter to provide the carbs and protein I would need without having to rely on any actual kitchen appliances. Samantha wouldn’t fit in here with me. Soda cans provided both thirst quenching and the relief of bodily functions. It took four days for my packages to be delivered, so I continued to sleep in my full-sized bedroom. A week in, and things were going swimmingly.

Renovation Became A Necessity

Small Space Living

Once everything was finally put in place, I realized my head wouldn’t fit inside any given room of the dollhouse. Us rich people absolutely adore combining rooms by knocking down walls, so this wasn’t an issue. I asked my gardener, Michael, to come inside for a minute and tear out all the divisive pieces of wood separating each small living space. I placed my head gingerly inside the dollhouse and immediately knocked over a can of Sprite. More finagling would be required. The little wrap-around porch on the front of the dollhouse served as a convenient place to stash the crackers and soda cans. I found if I craned my arm just a little past the point where it started to turn numb I could reasonably reach these items without removing my head from the luxurious king-size bed.

Some Of My Relationships Grew Stronger

The first couple nights in my dollhouse were … OK. I woke up each morning free from the bondage of smartphones and alarm clocks. That ended up being a problem, though, because I missed work two days in a row. Luckily, dollhouses are super portable so I moved my micro-house right into my office. The janitor found it a little awkward to walk in on me kneeling on my suit jacket with my head inside a dollhouse, but he got used to it. I’m not sure my co-workers were so adaptable. One morning I awoke to find my sprite cans had been cleaned out and replaced with a package of wet wipes.

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The person I really came to appreciate was my chiropractor, Tony. As I lay on his table, foregoing daily lunch breaks for much-needed readjustments, I would tell him how I wanted to give up. He would encourage me to hang on. I would silently sob as he kneaded my back and assured me I was doing the right thing. When I couldn’t hold my head upright he suggested I see it as a metaphor. I was looking at the world in a new way. His advice struck a chord, maybe because he was digging an elbow between my shoulder blades and I didn’t really have a choice. But I stuck with it and found a new level of gratitude for the trappings of daily life … and for Tony. I have spinal issues that are now permanent, I’ll be visiting Tony for the rest of my life. To think, this brief, painful experiment would spawn such a lasting friendship.


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