I Support Wildlife Preservation So I Can Eat The Last Of Every Animal
Yes, even the cute ones. Especially the cute ones. Mmmmm delicious wildlife preservation.
Decor So Minimal, You’ll Wonder If You Even Exist
Minimalism is here to stay. What’s the point of filling your domicile with meaningless junk when there’s no point to anything? If you’re ready to dive into the design style that answers the question “what brings me joy?” with “almost nothing,” here’s a few rules of thumb for making your dwelling look as empty as […]
4 Healthy Meal Ideas for a Pescatarian Diet!
I was shocked when my allergist told me I had a reaction to every single fruit and vegetable on the test except for onions and potatoes. I’d spent hours on that table while he prodded me with twigs and leaves, it was easily the worst food play of my life. I had spent a few […]
The Importance Of Time-Travel-Restricted Eating
Look, we love food as much as the next guy. But there has to be limits. That’s why time travel restricted meals are so important.
Ramen Garnishes That Say “Adventurous but Late with Rent”
Maybe getting fired was fortunate and being a foodie is my thing now!
Two Days in Southeast Portland: A Bunny Ears Travel Guide
Insider tip: Portland’s hottest neighborhood sits at the foot of a volcano. Known for its supply-and-demand-defying concentration of pour-over coffee shops (not to mention an over-saturated body ink scene!), the South Tabor community affords visitors decent eats and some seriously earthy nightlife options. One day is too short a time to embrace it, but two […]
Chrissy Teigen Is The Anti-Gwyneth, So I Guess We Have To Eat Her
How else shall we absorb her powers?
Bunny Ears Essentials: Abiogenesis
Welcome to Bunny Ears Essentials! Today, our topic is abiogenesis, the origin of life in the form of simple organic compounds that arise from inorganic or non-living substances. Abiogenesis likely occurred over 3.5 billion years ago on Earth. (Don’t come at us with your panspermia hypothesis bullshit!) But don’t be fooled by how long it’s been—abiogenesis […]
If You Ate Those Charcoal Ice Cream Cones You Now Have 24 Hours to Live
We were first to tell you to try charcoal ice cream cones, so let us also be the first to add some unfortunate news!
Jackfruit Is The Vegan Alternative To Dog Meat You’ve Been Waiting For
Look, we get it. There’s no need to preach to us about how good dog meat can be, and finding a healthy, delicious, vegan alternative can be difficult. Enter jackfruit, a freaky-looking, spiky fruit native to the tropical lowlands of Southeast Asia. Its meaty texture and neutral flavor will leave you amazed that you’re not […]
5 Recipes To Impress No One Because You Don’t Need To, You’re Perfect
Minimum effort with maximum reminders that you’re great and everyone else can suck it.
The Bunny Ears ‘Fuck A Killer’ Subscription Box
Because this is apparently what you guys want? Really?
Cookie Recipes That Hide The Bitter Taste Of All Those Crushed Pills
Are you tired of the bitter tasted of crushed up pills? Boy do we have something for you!
Ways To Accommodate The Tree Nut Allergy You Chose to Have
If you get halfway through a cookie and find out it has pistachios, you can go ahead and finish it if the cookie is really good.
Dreamy Spring Beach Escapes That Are Already Booked By Better People
Bad news: you won’t be taking a glorious spring beach escape this year. Good news: We found out who booked your spot, and they’re so much cooler than you!
3 School Lunches Your Child’s Bully Will Love
Cut out the middleman and prep for the bully’s palette instead! It’s good to know there’s at least one person likes your cooking.
Here’s What Happened When I Stopped Saying ‘Sorry,’ Mostly to My Assistant
Pretty soon I stopped saying, “I’m sorry, why is this extra hot latte I asked for undrinkably hot? Are you trying to kill me via Starbucks?” and started saying, “Thank you for burning my tongue and ruining my day, you incompetent shit.”
Adorable Teddy Bears To Pimp Out Your Man Cave
These cute and cuddly teddy bears are a great way to accentuate your manly space.
Brunch, Avenging My Father, And Five Other Things I’m Obsessed With
Wow, it was so sweet of Bunny Ears to let me do this little round-up of all the things I’ve been obsessed with lately! Honestly, I’m totally and completely obsessed with so many things that it was hard to narrow it down to just these seven. From dry-brushing to white nail polish to solving my […]
69 Is Out. Meet 82, The New Number That Fucks
The long wet reign of terror by 69 is out. It’s time for a new sex number, baby. Meet 82, the number that ones to get down and dirty with YOU!
Travel Guide: Under The Sea
The ocean is terrible and full of scary fish and fish-monsters. Why do you want to go there? What’s wrong with you?
Archie Tries Goop Recipes on Her Mom: Roasted Chicken
“Has this white woman ever had chicken before?” My dad asks, staring at the chicken. “This tastes like the ghost of flavored meat,” My mom says.
Live The Life You Deserve Through Financial Fraud
Fake it until you make it! And by “it” I mean “identity theft”
7 Unbelievable Places People Have Barfed In This Dave & Buster’s
Oh gross, they barfed in this excerpt. C’mon!
Macrodosing: Taking So Much LSD That Nothing Matters Anymore
Dinnnerinnerinner dinnner . how do you spell that word. dinnnner
Travel Guide: The Secret Canadian Disneyland ONLY For Illuminati
You’ve heard of Club 33, right? You know, that secret club at Disneyland you can only get into if you know the right people where they probably, like, smoke cigars and pass around a poor girl who moved to Hollywood with dreams of being an actress but ended up playing Cinderella for most of her […]
Our Recipe For Trapped Spider Mug Cake
Everyone loves mug cake! It’s fast, easy, and impossible to see what’s inside the mug once you’ve begun making it. Here’s how we happened upon this recipe.
8 Black And White Photos Of Pregnant Women For You To Do Whatever With
You’ve worked hard all week, and quite frankly, you deserve a break! That’s why we’ve created this slideshow of black and white photos of pregnant women for you to do, you know, whatever with. No need to go into detail. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy these beautiful visions of gestation in whatever manner you […]
Rose Gold Butt Plugs For Surviving Your Podcast’s Third Rebrand
The advice for taking a big old honker of a butt plug is the same advice that’s going to help you power your bottom through your podcast’s third rebrand.
I’m Hoping For A Cryotherapy Mishap That Turns Me Into Mr. Freeze
I can’t wait until one of my doctors makes an innocent mistake while adjusting the settings on the cryo-tank and it turns me into Mr. Freeze.
Rustic Bedroom Decor To Accent That Pile Of Leaves You Sleep On
Indulge your inner nymph, you holier-than-thou P.O.S. you!
Macaulay Culkin’s Pointed Guide To New Orleans
New Orleans celebrates Mardi Gras the two weeks before Shrove Tuesday, which is … when?
Build Wealth Even If Your Business Manager Won’t Suck A Dick For You
Like the say in business school, “Don’t blow your money. Let your money blow you.”
Hot Piles Of Garbage: Editor Amanda Mannen’s Morning Routine
Amanda lives in Missoula, Montana, so we didn’t actually go out there to observe her morning routine firsthand even though LAX is one of the few airports that actually flies directly to Missoula because we’re scared of Republicans.