We Invited the Street Sharks Creator to Chat About His New Luxury Line of Boulevard Sharks
If you loved Street Sharks you’ll love these luxurious new Boulevard Sharks. If you can afford them, which you almost certainly cannot.
Your Most Recent Social Trauma Tells Us Which Of Our Candles You Should Buy
Capitalism is a prison but candles smell nice so tell us your most recent traumatic social experience and we’ll sell you a scented candle!
How To Make Eight-Year-Old Brandon Think You’re The Coolest Counselor At Camp This Year
Hi, my name is Daniel O’Brien, and I am a hiker, Escape Room–avoider, and author, but before all that, many years ago, I was a camp counselor. I worked at a summer camp in Old Bridge, New Jersey for several years, and I still look back on the experience with tremendous fondness. I got to […]
Sober Karaoke And Other Socially Disgusting Ideas For Your Office Party
Ain’t no party like an office party ’cause an office party is necessary to your livelihood! At the Bunny Ears office, we have an office party every 15 minutes to boost morale, consisting of an IV cleanse and a mandatory meditation seminar. For those of you who don’t work at the healthiest place on Earth, here […]
“Birding” Brings Avian Alimentary Process to Hip New Heights
You’d barely notice Mama Bird’s Cafe if you didn’t already know what to look for. Tucked in the back corner of a parking lot in Echo Park, next to a launderette, a cigarette stand, and something called “Dr. Funsicle’s Mystery Shop of Edu-tainment,” is a small room containing four elegantly dressed tables. There’s a sign […]
How Do You Tell If An Object Sparks Joy Or Just Gave You An Orgasm Once?
No, literally all I have left now are vibrators and cake mix.
Love Yourself So Much It’s Inappropriate In Public
Love yourself like you recently met yourself, have been dating successfully for a month and have been banging yourself nonstop.
How Many Lemons Is Too Many Lemons When It Comes To Stuffing Your Butt Hole?
We know you’re probably sick of reading lemon-stuffing articles. Almost every lifestyle blog has been pumping these out like, well, butt lemons. But we promise this definitive guide to lemon stuffing will be the last article you ever have to read about stuffing lemons up your butt! Bunny Ears has your back (which will soon […]
We Found Carmen Sandiego, She Was Just in the Bathroom for a Really Long Time
Should we slide a magazine under the door or something?
Contact High: Pretending You Like Weed To Be Cool Around Other People…
Look. Not everyone still likes weed, okay? Just because now you are in your mid-thirties and no longer enjoy feeling like you’re going to fall out of a window and directly into a police cell every time you take a single puff off someone’s “totally mellow, home-grown” joint, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. […]
Bunny Ears Staff Advice Column: HOBBIES
[EDITOR’S NOTE: Welcome to the third ever Bunny Ears advice column, where Bunny Ears staff submit questions, and other Bunny Ears staff provide answers. Neither party knew who was asking or answering their questions. Until now … ] Q – Kelly Wallace-Barnhill I have taken on so many projects and have so much to get done that […]
Ball Wrinkles Are Out! Get Super Smooth Balls With These Testicle Wrinkle Treatments
Are your testicles smooth, fashionable add-ons or veritable Truck Nutz®? Balls are your body’s ultimate accessory, and you should care for them as such. Wrinkly testicles are SO OUT! You want your testicles to be shiny, spherical orbs for you and your partner(s) to enjoy. Here are some Bunny Ears–approved treatments that will get your […]
What Is This Bird Box Service And Can I Order ‘Just The Beaks’?
Honestly, what is bird box and why are all of my friends talking about it?
7 Lavish 4/20 Vacation Destinations Between Your Couch And Kitchen
Where are you going to go for Weed Christmas? Are you staying home? If so, here are the best spots for that perfect 4/20 vacation in your drab apartment.
My Morning Routine: Pilates And An Orgasm From A Stranger
It’s a simple thing, but I think it is worth it.
Decor So Minimal, You’ll Wonder If You Even Exist
Minimalism is here to stay. What’s the point of filling your domicile with meaningless junk when there’s no point to anything? If you’re ready to dive into the design style that answers the question “what brings me joy?” with “almost nothing,” here’s a few rules of thumb for making your dwelling look as empty as […]
The Beginner’s Guide To Fine-Dining Terminology
The world of fine dining has its own complex language that can turn a romantic date into a confusing embarrassment if you don’t know the lingo. Worry no more, because we’re here to help.
How To Plan A Sky Burial On A Budget
I view other cultures like the entries at a Sizzler: a buffet that you can pick and choose from to fill up your plate, and, if necessary, use force to seize control of the shrimp. When I learned of Tibetan sky burials, I knew I had to have one of my own. Buddhist monasteries in […]
Celebrity Advice: Quotes to Live By
Though they may or may not be “just like us,” one thing about celebrities is clear: Their lives are awesome and ours aren’t. Logically, they must have some mystical key to an awesome life beyond good bone structure and luck, right? The answer is yes and this is why we all crave celebrity advice. After […]
Chrissy Teigen Is The Anti-Gwyneth, So I Guess We Have To Eat Her
How else shall we absorb her powers?
5 Reasons Why I Ate This Entire Cake by Myself
Cake is symbolic of special occasions, and why shouldn’t every moment of my life be a special occasion?
Bunny Ears Essentials: Abiogenesis
Welcome to Bunny Ears Essentials! Today, our topic is abiogenesis, the origin of life in the form of simple organic compounds that arise from inorganic or non-living substances. Abiogenesis likely occurred over 3.5 billion years ago on Earth. (Don’t come at us with your panspermia hypothesis bullshit!) But don’t be fooled by how long it’s been—abiogenesis […]
Improve Your Life Using Voodoo: The Ultimate #Lifehack
Did you know that lifehacks have been around for centuries, long before the birth of the digital revolution? Way before you could use your shoe as a makeshift cup-holder or a tennis ball as a catch-all storage device, societies around the world basically invented the lifehack through the ceremonial practice of Voodoo! Shockingly, modern lifehack […]