Have you ever gotten a swirly from the defender of the planet? Let me tell you it is brutal.
Build upon shared interests.
Better make sure you rejuvenate your dead uncle’s creepy cabin before you start summer vacation.
Seriously. I’m doing fine.
Humiliate them until they dissolve in shame and fear.
The blindness is SO worth it.
What is wrong with you?
Humiliate your neighbors the ethical way.
Prepare to ascend.
Getting whipped with a tiny man on your back has never felt so good!
Are you part of the problem, or the solution?
Oh God. Is this normal?
Yes, there is a right way.
Vacation should be about leaving your old life and tired connections behind, along with most of your clothes and ALL of your money!
From Stockholm to a Doobie Brothers show.
You may be surprised by these findings.
Things to buy for your Dad and/or your Brad.
Seriously.
100% of people who breathe oxygen will die at some point in their life.
Yes, your eyes WILL fly out of your head and dangle on your cheeks. But you’ll have confronted your fears in the process.
Do you panic during surgery? Do you constantly fear getting lost in the mall?
We made a mistake, okay?
You might never be able to stay at any Marriott-affiliated hotel or resort again. But it’s worth it!
Being a stepmom is tough, but it can also be rewarding, like when your stepson begrudgingly says you can ride with him to your five-year high school reunion.
I realized I was doing everything exactly right.
We’re all going to die someday, but dumb toddlers usually don’t figure that out so soon. Whoops.
This is the story of my intense gummy shark fetish.
It’s easy!
Read on for the latest trends in dildo couture.
Have you heard of alternate nostril breathing?
Want to save the planet AND keep being an unimprovable slob? Our biodegradable work-out equipment lets you finally feel good about doing nothing!
The secret to rebuilding my confidence was admitting that I needed help – the help of a trusted therapist and of a pair of 5-foot-tall circus stilts.
The hottest new salad proteins are hopefully maggots, because that’s definitely what’s in this trendy salad pack we bought three weeks ago!
You’re probably used to singing the worst karaoke songs ever. If you’re one of those people who love singing songs that end too quickly, this is for you.
Drinking on Mother’s Day won’t help your partner and children truly appreciate you, but it WILL get you through another day without murder charges!
I’m mortified just thinking of what to write here!
It’s a conversation every parent should have with their child.
You’re going to fuck this up
These delicious, healthful activated cashews are so godammned good you’ll literally feel like you’re getting pounded by Mr. Peanut.
Parenting is hard—and it’s even harder when you’re a Frankenstein.
