My New Dog Is Adorable, Fits in My Purse, and Commands Me to Kill
You won’t believe who my new dog will want to see cleansed in Holy Blood. Celebrities? Politicians? You? Also I bought her the most adorable new dress.
The Modern Loneliness Epidemic That’s Affecting You And Only You
No one else feels lonely. Ever. It’s just you, the person reading this piece right now.
Which Christmas Tree Is Right For Your Empty, Loveless Apartment?
Deck the halls with a perfect Christmas tree, you absolutely miserable bastard.
Recipes For Standing In Front Of The Fridge In Your Underwear At 2AM
Not to be confused for 3AM recipes.