How to Raise Your Boys to Be Feminists Who Also Rock at Magic
We need to teach our boys consent, mutual respect, and how to freaking rock at magic.
How to Listen to Your Body’s Needs Using 6 FT. of Hose and Some Lube
Self care is important. That’s why we want you to listen to your body. No, like REALLY listen to it. Know what we’re saying?
We Apologize for Endorsing Sex with Men
Having mulled over all the evidence since the dawn of time, we’ve realized that sex with men was an atrocious mistake, and we must apologize.
If My Kids Love Me so Much, Why Won’t They Donate to My Patreon?
If My Kids Love Me So Much, Why Won’t They Donate To My Patreon
We Put A Naked Lady Doing Yoga On This Article So You Will Click
Look, we all know you only browse yoga articles because maybe you’ll see a nipple or something. Whatever.
Identity Retreats: The Best Self-Care After You’ve Witnessed A Crime
I thought my life was over when I changed my identity and was forced into hiding. But boy was I wrong
Upcycle Your Dead Dad’s Porn Magazines
We know you loved Dad, but we also know you love the environment more. Use this opportunity to teach everyone about the true beauty of upcycling.
You Can Now Use Face/Off Technology To Explore Your Mommy Issues
I tried out this new Face/Off procedure so I could see what I could learn about my childhood in order to be able to exploit it for an internet article. Here is what I learned.
Inspirational Feminist Quotes From Women Driven To Suicide By The Patriarchy
They’re so inspirational!
These Credit Cards Relieve Menstrual Cramps And Fix Your Hair
If Dick Cheney had a period the Iraq war would have never been started because he would be too busy going to the hospital every full moon.
Narcissistic Parenting Is Bad for My Child, But What About Me?
Do you know what it’s like to have your child come home with a report card that says she’s “such a bright student and a joy to be around” but says nothing – nothing – about you?
Why We Had A Water Birth At The City Swimming Pool
It’s so much healthier to bring your baby into the world with a water birth. And it costs next to nothing to do it down at the local pool!
As A Dream Interpreter, I’m Qualified to Say You’re All Disgusting Perverts
I already know the answer due to my years of experience as a dream interpreter, but have you tried watching something other than porn as you fall asleep?
These Crystals Have The Same Names As Women I Cheated On Karen With
Crystals are supposed to manifest health and power but all I manifested was my swift and brutal downfall.
Reach Enlightenment By Providing Feedback On My Talking Hippo Script
Read it and then provide at least several pages of feedback and suggestions. The talking hippo is named Everett and he mostly screams.
Heal Thy Neighbor By Throwing Crystals Through His Window
The guy can really use the help, and I’m here to give it to him one 90 mile-an-hour moonstone fastball at a time.
Self Care 101: Meditate To The Idea Of The Gang From ‘Entourage’
The bros got Vince through eight seasons and one movie.
Support Nature By Yelling ‘Yaaas Queen’ At Pandas That Won’t Mate
Even if the people who own the zoo keep telling you to please stop doing that.
The Realm of The Piss Demon And Other Dirtiest Places In Your Home
The toilet is where the pee-pee and poops leave your body,
Poop Doulas And 4 Other Types Of Doulas You Didn’t Know You Need
A good doula is duty-bound to help you do things your way!
The Newest Therapy Trend: Telling The Grocery Clerk How Sad You Are
A therapist is just someone you pay to listen and be nice to you. At Trader Joe’s they do it for free.
This Mom’s New Years Resolution Is To Get Turnt The Fuck Up
This year, my goal is to get shwiggity fuckin’ shwasted, and I can’t wait to get to it!
Panic Healing: A New Healing Method We Invented Via Typo
It’s a lot like pranic healing, but with more panic.
Stop Being So Goddamn Sad All The Time (And Buy My Book)
Whenever you’re about to do something, stop to think “Would a happy person do this?” If the answer is no, recalibrate your plans.
Mobile Board Yoga Is Revolutionizing The Fitness And Wellness World
Mobile board yoga, the newest Hollywood fitness craze, is the real deal.
A Guide To Communing With Your Spirit Animal Through Our 84-inch 4K TV
Seeking a spirit animal can be hard, so we recommend this LG Electronics 84-Inch Cinema 3D 4K Ultra HD 120hz Smart TV with six pairs of 3D glasses purchased through our amazon affiliate link!
Meditative Things White People Can Do While Black People Attempt To Explain White Privilege
There are many ways to handle being called out by black people, so here are our favorites!
What Your Favorite Color Says About The Day You’ll Die
Your favorite color reveals both your preferences for physical and spiritual connections, but also some pretty graphic details about how you’ll snuff it.
6 Stages Of WTF When Your Meditation Teacher Says ‘Marinate’ Instead Of ‘Meditate’
You’re focusing on trying to enter a zone of heightened consciousness, but your guided meditation instructor keeps saying ‘marinate’ instead of ‘meditate.’
Please Stop Trying To Cleanse My House of Evil Spirits, They Do The Dishes
It happens every time: I invite a friend over for brunch, a tarot reading, or an intravenous drug party, and they soon notice that my house is clearly haunted. It’s admittedly hard to miss— objects fly around seemingly of their their volition, and there’s that faint, creepy whispering from deep within the walls. I try to […]
Aromainjury: Slowly Defeat Your Enemy With These Scent Oils
The less-practiced craft of Aromainjury will help you organically conquer that nosy coworker or messy roommate. Here are our favorite fragrances of annihilation!
Improve Your Life Using Voodoo: The Ultimate #Lifehack
Did you know that lifehacks have been around for centuries, long before the birth of the digital revolution? Way before you could use your shoe as a makeshift cup-holder or a tennis ball as a catch-all storage device, societies around the world basically invented the lifehack through the ceremonial practice of Voodoo! Shockingly, modern lifehack […]