Tag Archives: wedding
I Cloned Myself So I Could Wear Six Different Looks On My Wedding Day
When Alex asked me to marry him I was the happiest girl in the world. I couldn’t wait to tie the knot in front of all our friends, family, and hundreds of other people I invited for the gifts. After hours of picking out table settings, flowers, and bridesmaids thin enough to be in my […]
How To Give A Memorable Wedding Toast Without Mentioning The Bride Ate Her Twin In Utero
It’s such an honor to be asked to speak at your friend’s wedding, but it can also be very stressful. Right now, I’m attempting to put down a few words on paper about my lifelong friend, Jennifer, and of course, I’m having that classic problem: trying not to mention that she ate her twin in […]
I Made Up A Camp Boyfriend 14 Years Ago and Now Everyone Thinks We Are Getting Married on Saturday
It was the summer of 2004, a rainy day at Camp Towanic which meant movie day. The day’s feature presentation was Never Been Kissed. It was like the camp gods were mocking me. “Stacy Goldstein got fingered in the boat shack last night and you’ve never even been kissed.” “Did you see Alex Greenblatt and […]
Meet The Flash Mob That Almost Performed At The Royal Wedding
Tad and Brita Carlson have always loved to put on a show. The brother-sister creative team from Burbank, California has gone from puerile backyard productions of Equus to some of the most elaborate flash mobs of the 21st century. In 2017, Tad and Brita produced a promposal flash mob which involved over 300 extras, two […]
How To Politely Decline An Invite To Your Dork Nephew’s ‘Warcraft’ Wedding
He’s marrying an orc or whatever.
Use Your Wedding Gift Registry To Ensure Your Guests Know You Fuck Hard
Your wedding gift registry isn’t about tradition, it’s about letting guests know you can outscrew anyone, in explicit detail!
Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Wedding Arch
I can’t help but wonder: when will it be my turn? When will I get to delicately balance myself on four posts above some woman as she marries the man of her dreams?