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    Macaulay Culkin
    former child








Choose my middle name

A very real chance for you to do something cool

I've had my middle name for 38 years, and you know what they say: "you should change your middle name as often as you change your sheets." Well, after finding a great deal at Target this weekend, I think it is time to legally change it.

I want a new middle name. But any nerd can go out and just change it, I want something cool. This is where you come in, internet friends. Send in your favorite name, be it Kevin, Lazerwolf, Dr Pepper®, whatever. I'm going to choose my favorite few... let's say 5, and then I'm going to let you all vote on the winner. And this is real. Once we decide the winning name, I am going to appear before a judge and explain all of this nonsense and make them change my name. My lawyers already told me I can do this, and I have a strict "no backsies" policy in all of my contracts. So, what do you say?