Our Recipe For Trapped Spider Mug Cake

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Everyone loves mug cake! It’s fast, easy to make, and impossible to see the bottom of the mug once you’ve begun adding ingredients to it. Let me tell you the story of how we here at the Bunny Ears offices happened upon this revolutionary recipe for trapped spider mug cake:

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The Recipe’s Origins

By ignoring office procedure, one of our writers (looking at you, Tom!) enabled us to come up with this unbelievable new recipe. When you find a spider (and there are many) in the Bunny Ears kitchenette, you’re supposed to trap it under Craig the Intern‘s mug and add a Post-it Note that says something like “Tom’s Spider: Do Not Eat.” Someone only did the first part and didn’t give us any Post-it–based warning. About a week (or however long it takes for a spider to stick itself to the bottom of a mug and die) went by, and we decided to use Craig’s mug to test out a new mug cake recipe. Thus, trapped spider mug cake was born!

The Recipe

Ingredients:

1/4 cup of all-purpose flour

2 tablespoons of sugar

1 teaspoon of optional cocoa powder (great for not being able to see things in the cake!)

3 tablespoons of milk

2 tablespoons of canola oil

1 tablespoon of water

A pinch of salt

1/8 teaspoon of baking soda (this did something to the spider body. We’re not exactly sure what, but we heard a lot of pops. Don’t ask us. We’re not scientists.)

1/4 teaspoon of vanilla extract

Randomly distributed chunks of dried fruit or chocolate that may or may not blend in perfectly with a dead arachnid

1 sticky-ass dead spider

Add the ingredients to the mug you found on the counter in your office kitchenette. It’s Craig’s mug—what is he gonna do, go to H.R.? They hate Craig! That’s why we use his mug for experimental recipe testing and also spiders! Stir all your cake ingredients absentmindedly until you have no hope of discovering any surprises that may have made their way into the mug cake batter. Microwave for 1 minute and 45 seconds or until the spider popping sound slows to once every 5 seconds.

Turn the mug over onto a plate, and let your cake concoction slither out. If you did it right, you’ll spot the lovely spider pattern adorning the top of the mug cake immediately. If you’re Tom Reimann: Lazy Spider-Trapper, you’ll see a free cake lying around and dig right in without looking. It serves him right, honestly. After eating trapped spider mug cake, you may notice some tongue numbness, depending on what sort of spider was used in the recipe. This is normal? Yeah. Probably. It’s Tom’s problem now.

Images: Pexels, Pixabay, Pixabay


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Hana Michels: Hana Michels has written for The Hard Times, Funny Or Die, McSweeney's, Shout Factory, Splitsider and others because her parents are therapists.

View Comments (1)

  • Thanks, BunnyEars Staff! Your easy-to-follow recipe helped make my last visit from the in-laws so much sweeter! My "surprise" baking skills really showed them I'm not a shiftless loser who doesn't deserve their daughter.

    Pro Tip: The tang and crunch of a Brown Recluse makes it far superior to the average house spider. Black Widows are just too juicy, IMHO.

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