Upcycle Your Dead Dad’s Porn Magazines

We here at Bunny Ears care deeply about the environment. We read up on every trend and follow the advice of every reputable blogger, even if their advice sometimes leads to disaster. As the great poet Alanis Morissette put it, “You live, you learn.” Except for your dad. Your dad is dead, and you are stuck with all of his earthly belongings, including his many, many boxes of porn magazines. We know you loved Dad, but we also know that you love the environment more. Here are just a few ideas to use this as an opportunity to teach everyone in your life about the true beauty of upcycling.

Festive Place Mats

Laminate some of your favorite pages from Dad’s vintage porn magazine collection and use them as place mats. Not only will it add color and whimsy to your dinner table, it’ll be a great way to share your dad’s joy on Earth with others. Of course, it doesn’t have to be vintage. Make place mats out of pictorials crossing the whole spectrum of your dad’s sexual journey and spice up an otherwise boring dinner party by inviting guests to date the bodies they’re eating off based on lingerie and pubic hair trends.

Woven Shopping Bags

There will be days when you miss Dad so much that you won’t even want to leave the house, groceries be damned. Dad can’t eat, so why should you? The best (and environmentally friendly!) way to turn those blues into butterflies is to upcycle your dad’s smut rags into a fashionable shopping bag. This way, you can take a piece of Dad with you to Whole Foods and calmly stroll the aisles, commenting on the ripeness of the tomatoes.

Your upcycled porn mag bag could also serve as a great conversation starter. If you spot someone eyeing your bag, shove it in their face and tell them all about Dad’s love for girl-horse porn.

Make Your Own Puzzles

Your dad loved puzzles, so wouldn’t he be overjoyed by the thought of you turning one of his Playboy centerfolds into a glorious jigsaw masterpiece? You could even make a dozen puzzles and donate them to a charity home. You’ll inspire the world to upcycle by spreading the seeds of your dad’s enjoyment! They can be great for kids, too. There is nothing wrong with teaching your children about the beauty and history of human anatomy. Speaking of kids …

Decorate Your Kids’ Rooms With Grandpa’s Beloved Covers

Or centerfolds. Whatever you feel would best impart to them what a wonderful, generous human being he was. They probably already know that, though. He did leave you his most precious possessions.

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