How To Have The Perfect Valentine’s Day (With Your Vibrator!)

Buckle up ladies, Valentine’s Day is upon us, and once again, you’ve found yourself in a relationship rut. Whether it’s because you need the space to work on yourself, or because men are dangerous trash (let’s not fool ourselves, it’s the second), being single during this time of year is rough. Don’t beat yourself up about it though, because your friends over at Bunny Ears are here to help! We’ve come up with some great ideas for you to have the perfect romantic day with the most important man in your life—your vibrator.

Breakfast In Bed (With Your Vibrator!)

Start off with a treat first thing in the morning! What a perfect way to start the day, especially if you don’t have to actually share it with someone else. Cook up your favorite breakfast foods and crawl back into bed while making eyes at your favorite vibrating friend. You’re going to want to work off that heart shaped French toast somehow, aren’t you? Now you can do it without dealing with someone else’s morning breath (if your vibrator has morning breath, see a doctor).

Go See A Movie (With Your Silent Vibrator!)

Who says you can’t take yourself out on a date? Going to the movies is always a fun experience but contrary to what a lot of people think, doesn’t have to be a group activity—you can have all the fun in the world if you have enough room in your purse. (Or if you like jewelry that does more than look pretty.) Catch a matinee or mid afternoon screening where there won’t be a lot of people in the room, sit in a dark corner in the back, bring a large coat you can drape over yourself, and let that metal hit yah where the Good Lord split yah. What’s out right now, Lego Movie 2? Enjoy watching Batman working on the big screen while you have Ironman working behind your small screen!

Bubble Bath (With Your Waterproof Vibrator!)

Mmm, there is nothing more sensually relaxing than a luxurious bubble bath. Clean your bathroom ahead of time so there’s no distractions, and set the ambiance with flower petals and your favorite old school R&B playlist on Spotify. Light candles around the bath, drop in your favorite bath bomb and settle into the tub with a glass of wine and your favorite waterproof boyfriend. And remember, you don’t have to worry about how long your robotic Aquaman can hold his breath underwater. (Just remember water-based lubricants wash off the minute you get in the water, so go with silicone based lubricants instead!)

Netflix And Chill (With Your Other Vibrator!)

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For a lot of us, we don’t like to go through so much trouble on Valentine’s Day—just want a relaxing evening munching your favorite snacks and wrapped up in your favorite blankets watching Netflix from the comfort of your own home. And with your favorite electronic friend, there won’t be any arguing over what to marathon or whether chocolate or popcorn is the better bed snack (it’s chocolate, dumbass), just you doing whatever you want, enjoying whatever you want, and then cumming whenever you want. And isn’t that what Valentine Day’s really all about?