Why I Planned My Best Friend’s Bachelorette Party in Vegas

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As the maid of honor at your best friend’s wedding, your duties vary, but one of the most important ones is planning the bachelorette party. So when Summer asked me to be her MOH (maid of honor, duh), I was psyched. We’ve been friends for years. We’re like sisters. You know how it is; the older sister is a complete condescending bitch to the well-meaning, supportive younger sister? Yeah, we’re like that!

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Summer made it very clear: she wanted something classy where she would be the center of attention. “Say no more,” I thought. Vegas, baby! The town has it all: sun, fun, and endless ways to shower a bride-to-be.

I booked Summer and the rest of the bridal party on a Spirit Airlines flight to Vegas. Unlike most airlines, there are absolutely no food, drinks or air conditioning, and seats are assigned randomly. But when you spend a ton of money on an engagement gift because nothing on the registry is less than three hundred dollars, it’s a terrific option. And Summer loved finding a completely new audience in her random seatmates to talk about just how stressful it is to pick a wedding dress when everything you try on looks amazing.

Once we were in Vegas I had all the bridesmaids put on these adorable shirts I got made up that said “Summer’s last plunge.” I found this great photo of Summer on the diving board at weight loss camp to put on the front. Cute, right? It’s important to have something that distinguishes your bridal party from the tons and TONS of others all over Vegas. It was nice for Summer to see that she wasn’t the only one getting married.

In Vegas you can party NONSTOP and that was exactly what I planned for us. We went to a day club where the pool was more packed with bodies than the F train during rush hour in Manhattan. Summer wanted to get massages but I thought getting bumped and grinded against while basically naked was essentially the same thing but even more fun! I found a group of meathead guidos who had rented a cabana and told them to show Summer “a good time.” It was a blast! I wanted her to loosen up, because wedding planning can be SO STRESSFUL, so I slipped a little pill of reassurance into her drink. The guys were great. They paid her extra special attention.

Another awesome thing about Vegas is the food. I planned a delicious dinner at the famous Heart Attack Grill. It’s like no place you’ve ever been. We had to put on hospital gowns because the whole shtick is that the burgers are so unhealthy, they are heart-attack-inducing. Summer had made it very clear that none of us should weigh more than 120 pounds for the wedding but I thought, when in Vegas! Summer didn’t even touch her “Bypass Burgers” but I think she just enjoyed living vicariously through the rest of us while we ate.

Vegas is full of strip clubs for both men and women and it’s such a fun activity for a bachelorette party.  I picked the Hunk Mansion to take the bridal party because I had a special surprise planned for Summer. I found her estranged father! The look on her face when her father came out in a tiny g-string was priceless. I can’t wait to tell the entire wedding about it when I give my speech. Her face was as red as the heinous, ridiculously expensive bridesmaid dress, that she is forcing us all to wear. Trust me, this was a bachelorette party she will NEVER forget. If you have a friend like Summer, you too should come to Vegas!


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Dyana Goldman: Dyana Goldman was born left-handed but has still been able to live a relatively normal life. She lives in Los Angeles where she has worked on several sitcoms including LA to Vegas, Happy Endings, and Entourage. When she's not writing she's hiking Runyon sneaking photos of other's dogs, making a mess of her kitchen, or living outside her means.
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