Hey, You Left Your Space Heater On. Or Did You?

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It’s been a cold day. Luckily, you remembered to turn off your space heater before you left. Or did you?

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You’re sure you turned it off. You remember standing near it, then you bent over … but was it to turn it off or tie your shoe? Hopefully, it’s off. You’ll come home to a freezing apartment that’ll take hours to warm up, but it’s better than sifting through the cinders of your former home as your neighbors weep for all that they’ve lost because you left a stupid space heater on. But it’s off. Definitely off.

It’s unlikely, since it’s totally off, but a small mote of dust might’ve ignited on the hot coils. A small ember could’ve fallen onto the rug. If that happened, then the rug could have been engulfed in flames with a frightening whoosh within seconds along with the old couch on top of it.

There are multiple routes the fire could have hypothetically taken by now. It could’ve gone the length of the couch to torch the curtains. It could crawl up your throw blanket and light the fake flowers on the console table behind the couch, which is just above the cat’s bed, which will ignite the cat, who will then set everything on fire in a flaming panic. The space heater could just explode out of spite for having to work so long without a break because you’ve personified it and given it a relatable reason to ruin your life that will make people say, “I wouldn’t go that far, but I get it.”

Nope, It’s Off

If it is on—which, again, it’s not—at least you won’t have to wait until you get off work to find out. Any second now, you’ll get a Google News notification telling you to watch live helicopter footage of the flames consuming your apartment.

Luckily, you turned it off, for sure. The space heater’s distinctive burning smell reminded you to turn it off before you left. But did you act on it? Your home is destroyed, everyone in the building has died, and it’s all your fault. You’re going to be sued into oblivion and rot in prison for the rest of your life.

Ah, forget it. What’s the use in worrying about that when it absolutely didn’t happen, right?

But maybe.

Image: Pexels, Pixabay


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Luis Prada: Luis is a columnist for Cracked.com and an astral projection of an unfathomable being from across the universe.
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