If there’s one thing that impresses, it’s accessories. And also: Accomplishments. So the next time you really want to make a splash at a special occasion, consider pairing the right WWE Championship belt with your ensemble.
The Occasion: Tinder First Date.
The Belt: The RAW Tag Team Championships.
You swiped, you matched, and now it’s time to get together IRL. Your heart is aflutter as you meet your date at the local Golden Corral, and you lock eyes just as she notices that Crimson Centurions. It’s a done deal.
The Occasion: Fancy Dinner on a Tropical Vacation.
The Belt: Original Intercontinental Championship.
Nothing says fancy and tropical like the original Intercontinental title won by Pat Patterson in a tournament in Rio de Janeiro. Yup. Rio de Janeiro. We told you this shit was fancy. Make an impression on the buffet line at your all-inclusive resort in this green-and-red beauty festooned with a golden Anheuser-Busch eagle.
The Occasion: Job Interview.
The Belt: The 1980s Intercontinental Championship.
Show your prospective employer how dependable you are with this boring old ’80s IC belt. The leather is just leather color and not like neon yellow or anything rad like that, and it’s got a picture of a globe on it like it’s Social Studies class or something. You’ll get hired for sure for the midlevel job of your corporate dreams!
The Occasion: Court Appearance.
The Belt: Stone Cold Motherfuckin’ Steve Austin’s Motherfuckin’ Rattlesnake Smoking Motherfuckin’ Skull Belt, That’s What.
Hey, Your Honor: If you agree I shouldn’t have to pay child support anymore, then gimme a hell yeah!
The Occasion: Your Stepson’s College Graduation.
The Belt: TWO Intercontinental Belts. YEAH, TWO INTERCONTINENTAL BELTS.
Climb your way up the family pecking order and really flex on that uppity little shit who thinks he’s so smart. If he’s so smart why is he wearing a lame robe and a flat hat, while you’ve got two freakin’ Intercontinental Titles?
The Occasion: Your Wedding.
The Belt: The Pimp Ass White Leather Intercontinental Title.
Ohhh boy, you’re getting laid tonight! We don’t know why sticking that sweet white leather on the IC Belt turns it into the smoothest, sexiest shit that’s ever slinked across a wrestling ring, but it just does. We’re getting choked up just picturing your beautiful bride walking down the aisle, wearing the Tag Team belts from your first date.
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