Lifestyle

“Look out! Macaulay Culkin has a gun!”

You better hope your colon is in order, because I’m about to blow the shit straight out of you.

I know there have been a lot of questions since I, Quarog The World Eater, appeared in the space that surrounds your planet.

I didn’t expect anyone to understand the sacrifice I was making through my hunger strike, but I really didn’t expect them to vehemently insist I keep going.

Autumn is the perfect time to tackle a project like knitting a beautiful scarf, one that could finesse your whole look if you finished it, which you won’t.

Turn your stupid fat American child into a glorious, perfectly-behaved little Madeline thanks to a strict French diet!

When celebs spill the beans on the best countries to open an offshore bank account to hide their wealth from different governments, we’re here for it.

She has such good taste, and really springs for the good stuff!

Just because it’s a DIY neopagan water birth taking place in a tiny yurt does not mean there are no rules.

Your favorite color reveals both your preferences for physical and spiritual connections, but also some pretty graphic details about how you’ll snuff it.

Get ready.

Check out our exclusive serial killer style guide for fall 2018.

7 steps to protect your marriage from the grips of Frankenstein Monsters.

I mean seriously, come on, Titanic II? That has us written all over it.

You’re focusing on trying to enter a zone of heightened consciousness, but your guided meditation instructor keeps saying ‘marinate’ instead of ‘meditate.’

After discovering a murderous golem in my community, I tracked it down and killed it to create my very own golem clay mask. And you can, too!

Feelings are so hot

Why waste time boiling stacks of the flayed dead so you can suckle the runoff when you can cut out the middle man and get all the nutrients you need direct from the source?

Negative energy is the most underrated problem affecting your everyday life—and it mostly comes from your nefarious electrical appliances.

What better way to pay respect to the pets you miss than to plant a produce garden in their name, right on top of their graves?

Instead of candy, give your neighbors what they really want this Halloween: a comprehensive sexual education via seasonal and sensual pumpkins!

These delicious, healthful activated cashews are so godammned good you’ll literally feel like you’re getting pounded by Mr. Peanut.

No man should be going around calling women names unless they are in my bed, kitchen, or bathtub and I am about 30 seconds away from le petit mort.

Before you pack up the station wagon, it’s only natural to wonder what to do if that thing from The Happening happens.

Here’s a scenario: You’re in your first yoga class ever and you accidentally reveal that the only reason you’re there is so you can become limber enough to orally pleasure yourself. The class is stunned by your admission, and you’re shocked to discover that people do yoga for reasons other than orally pleasuring themselves. No […]

It happens every time: I invite a friend over for brunch, a tarot reading, or an intravenous drug party, and they soon notice that my house is clearly haunted. It’s admittedly hard to miss— objects fly around seemingly of their their volition, and there’s that faint, creepy whispering from deep within the walls. I try to […]

Hello again, readers! We here at Bunny Ears love trying out new diets and telling you about the results. Juice cleanses, the five-bite system, raw foods—we’re here for them all. And as much as I’d love to review a new trendy diet for you today, I hit a bit of a snafu up front: The only thing […]

As many of you know, every year, we here at Bunny Ears bring you a detailed guide to all things autumn. Normally, our interactive autumnal map allows you to search B&Bs in the area by size, style, and quaint charm, while our color wheel breaks down every leaf shade permutation possible by region and time […]

Relationships can be tough, but when you find your perfect other half, you’ll be amazed by how easy things can be. I personally feel so lucky to be in a relationship that’s so intuitive and carefree. I am, of course, talking about my relationship with this barbecue pulled pork macaroni and cheese. It’s a simple […]

I’m usually a bubbly, effervescent kind of person, but a few months ago I found myself feeling guilty about the way I was acting. I was letting stress get the best of me, and it was most often expressed through absolutely foul language. Real nasty stuff. Some stuff I’m pretty sure I invented. Regardless of […]

Here at Bunny Ears, we’re always busy promoting African Americans, as well as African American styles and traditions. And while we love celebrating much of African Americano, we have to admit to a more…unsettling truth: black people make a lot of white people uncomfortable, which, in turn, makes black people feel unsafe. It’s a story […]

So you want to learn how to make my perfect fried rice? Of course you do. My perfect fried rice is nirvana incarnate. It’s made grown men weep. Asking someone if they want my fried rice recipe is like asking someone if they want to glimpse the face of God. Who’s going to say no? […]

Parenting is hard—and it’s even harder when you’re a Frankenstein.

Having a personal trainer is great but who likes working out? Why move your body around like a poor building rocks for money or whatever when you could just wait for a sexy android body to come on the market someday? It’s tough; the urge to call your personal trainer at 3AM to screech JUST […]

Just mainline that ‘ish.

Pair it with Jordan Catalano hair and deep ennui.

We will not be offering refunds.

The less-practiced craft of Aromainjury will help you organically conquer that nosy coworker or messy roommate. Here are our favorite fragrances of annihilation!

You asked, Mack answered.

Has this ever happened to you? You’re out shopping, spa-ing, or dishing over brunch with your girlfriends, when you casually announce that you need to visit the ladies’ room to change your tampon—only to discover that you’re among members of the cup cult. “You’re still using tampons?!” they shriek, proceeding to subject you to a […]

It’s time to put an end to this workplace scourge.

As a good-hearted, courageous princess, I totally understand that a diet may not be feasible to the working woman/peasant. I know many of you have children to rear and like, goats to tend? I’ve definitely seen goats out there, so my guess is you’re tending them— because peasant men are useless, amiright? See, we’re the […]