How To Talk To Your Kids About Skeletons Trying To Steal Your Treasure
It’s a sad truth that any normal family who keeps a large pile of gold and precious gems in their home is going to attract skeletons. It’s perfectly natural for children to be frightened of skeletons, but they need to understand that skeleton attacks are just a natural part of life. Every skeleton attack can be turned into a teachable moment! To help guide the conversation, we’ve answered some of the typical questions parents have about talking to your children about skeletons trying to steal your treasure.
When Is The Best Time To Talk To Your Kids About Skeletons Trying To Steal Your Treasure?
The best time to start the skeleton conversation is the first time your child notices one. Don’t pretend it’s a very thin neighbor who wants to borrow a cup of sugar. Get the Vorpal sword out the pantry and vanquish it right in front of them. Then you can sit down and have a frank conversation about what just happened.
Your child might have some tough questions, like “Why did you just decapitate that nice, smiling man, Mommy?” Just explain to them in a frank and honest way that you have to decapitate them to ensure they don’t return to the world of the living, and your child will understand. Kids are smarter than you think!
Are There Limits To What You Should Share With Your Kids About Skeletons Trying To Steal Your Treasure?
It is best to shield your child from the harsher truths about skeletons. For instance, maybe don’t share that skeletons tend to kidnap children. Avoid explaining that if a skeleton does manage to kidnap them, they will likely be taken to Skeleton Island, where they will never be rescued.
We’ve all lost a child or two to Skeleton Island. It’s not a big deal, but it can be distressing for children to learn that they may have several siblings currently living on Skeleton Island. Children don’t understand that it’s super gross over there and no one wants to be touched by creepy skeleton hands. Often, children will argue that the kids on Skeleton Island deserve to be rescued. So cute!
While honesty is important, the fact that they might get kidnapped forever on Skeleton Island can be too complex of a notion for children to properly process. Simply teach them how to defend themselves, and hopefully, the skeletons will never be able to carry them away in their gross, bony hands!
How Can I Best Train My Child To Fight Off A Skeleton If Necessary?
I always say if they can walk, they can carry a training sword. Get your kids decapitating as young as possible. Your instinct may be to shield your child from the daily carnage the barrage of skeletons brings to your home, but that will only lead to irresponsible behavior later in life. Your child may try to befriend a skeleton, and as we all know, that’s a one-way ticket to Skeleton Island.
Children need to learn to protect your treasure from skeletons as soon as possible. You never know when you’ll need an extra pair of hands in a skeleton battle. One toddler with a Vorpal dagger duct-taped to her head could be the difference between a safe treasure and a treasure marauded by the dangerous pirate skeletons you may or may not have originally taken it from. Who is to say?
What’s The Best Way To Address Why Some Families Don’t Have To Deal With Skeleton Attacks While Others Do?
It’s important for kids to know that not all families are attacked by skeletons. Be sure they understand that families who don’t have to deal with skeletons aren’t less special or important. They simply don’t have access to the wonders of a beautiful vault full of pirate treasure that your family rightfully earned.
During this conversation, you can impart to your children how truly lucky they are. You can learn so much about anatomy from being attacked by a skeleton! Plus, everyone loves having extra piles of bones around. They make great centerpieces. However the conversation starts and wherever it goes, all that matters is that your children understand that they are safe, they are loved, and they are never coming back if they get taken to Skeleton Island.
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Hate to be that girl but isn’t it “adventurers” that try to steal the gold and skeletons that are defending it? Thief is one of the three big archetypes for a reason.
No, Jennifer. Skeletons try to steal my treasure every day. Clearly you haven’t experienced this.
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