How To Talk To Your Teens About The Dangers Of James Woods
It might be uncomfortable, but it’s necessary.
The D&D Character Alignments Of The Shitty Kids Who Attended My Son’s 6th Birthday Party
Little Jason is definitely a chaotic neutral.
When To Tell Your Kids That Santa Died From Autoerotic Asphyxiation
It’s something every parent wonders.
The Best Movies Of 2019 We Never Saw Because Caleb’s Babysitter Quit
Based on commercials during ‘Paw Patrol,’ we think these movies were great!
Cool Shit You Can Buy Instead Of Sending Your Dumb Kids To College!
Have you ever thought about owning a capybara?
It’s Time To Teach Your Children The True Meaning Of No Nut November
It’s about family, faith, and unrelenting blue balls.
A Guide For First-Time Fathers Who Are Also Frankensteins
Parenting is hard—and it’s even harder when you’re a Frankenstein.
‘Luigi’s Mansion 3’ Is FAR Too Scary For Me And My Highly Sensitive Boys
Branklin and Conch can’t even get through the trailer.
How to Tell Your Kids There’s A Baby in Your Tummy—Because You Ate One
It can be hard for them to understand.
How To Discipline Your Stepson When You Were Both Class Of 2014
Being a stepmom is tough, but it can also be rewarding, like when your stepson begrudgingly says you can ride with him to your five-year high school reunion.
So Your Toddler Just Realized They’re Going To Die Someday
We’re all going to die someday, but dumb toddlers usually don’t figure that out so soon. Whoops.
Recipes For Boogers Since That’s The Only Thing My Gross Kids Will Eat
At your wit’s end with your kids eating their boogers instead of your delicious homemade meals?
I Foster My Son’s Creativity by Keeping Him in an Empty Room
I make sure my child’s creativity stays strong and vibrant by keeping him in an empty room.
How to Raise Your Boys to Be Feminists Who Also Rock at Magic
We need to teach our boys consent, mutual respect, and how to freaking rock at magic.
My Charming, Brilliant Leash Kid Should Be Able to Shit in Your Dog Park
My leash kid is on a leash. The dogs are on leashes. I don’t see the problem?
Great Ways To Sneak In Some Day Drinking This Mother’s Day
Drinking on Mother’s Day won’t help your partner and children truly appreciate you, but it WILL get you through another day without murder charges!
If My Kids Love Me so Much, Why Won’t They Donate to My Patreon?
If My Kids Love Me So Much, Why Won’t They Donate To My Patreon
Cage-Free Children: Right For You?
If you’re raising one of these “cage-free children,” you’re a crappy parent. There, we said it.
How To Make Edible Slime In A Desperate Attempt To Connect With Your Kids
If your kid prefers squishing a disgusting substance between their fingers more than interacting with you, then congratulations, this guide is for you.
Natasha Lyonne and Macaulay Culkin Talk Art, Movies, and the End Times
Natasha Lyonne and Macaulay Culkin: two definitely not dead celebrities!
3 School Lunches Your Child’s Bully Will Love
Cut out the middleman and prep for the bully’s palette instead! It’s good to know there’s at least one person likes your cooking.
Teaching Your Kids That Goofy Loves To Fuck
It’s a conversation every parent should have with their child.
Beach Bods, Parenting Tips, And More Lifehacks: 3/25/19-3/31/19
Get beach ready by Thanos-Snapping yourself into a pile of ashes!
Why We Limit Our Children To One Hour Of Good Parenting A Day
Are our kids spending too much time plopped in front of their families, growing lazy from all that unconditional love? Heck yes!
Stick-And-Poke Tats Are The New Face-Painting At Your Kids’ Parties!
Move over Fudgy the Whale, crude needle poke tattoos are the new big children’s party must-have of the year!
Narcissistic Parenting Is Bad for My Child, But What About Me?
Do you know what it’s like to have your child come home with a report card that says she’s “such a bright student and a joy to be around” but says nothing – nothing – about you?
Common Board Games For Building A Lifelong Rivalry Between Your Kids
Risk doesn’t have to be the only game that tears families apart! With a little manipulating even checkers can have your kiddos start a lifelong rivalry that’ll jumpstart them to greatness!
Sophisticated Gifts For Kids That Are Sure To Get Them Bullied
You’ll look like a parent with impeccable modern taste, but you’ll never have to put your skills to use because your child won’t have any friends left!