Articles

The spirit of Desdemona Turnerwood thinks you’re “vile, truly vile!”

Once you reach a certain age, keeping a few tiny clones of yourself as pets is an essential part of your image, but, ugh, they are such a drag. By the time you’ve minimally fed, bathed, and clothed those disgusting creatures, you hardly have any time left for underwater pilates or your bullet journal ghostwriter. […]

It’s not okay to go on vacation and have an affair. We should have known that. That’s on us. But also, you should have known not to take that advice, so that’s on you, too.

Avoid humiliation, you giant barbarian.

Parenting is hard—and it’s even harder when you’re a Frankenstein.

They’re 100% biodegradable and look fantastic!

They are connoisseurs of tushie excellence.

Bleaching your butthole is out. Bleaching then TIE-DYING your butthole is very in.

“It is what it is.”

It’s literally all we can hear, taste, and smell.

Some call it an abomination. We call it the official color of November 2019!

It just isn’t right.

Keep this insane ruse going just a little longer!

Yum!

‘There’s just so much pus.’

It’s so, so satisfying.

It takes both time and commitment to get me anywhere even close to an orgasm.

They make us feel seen.

Literal (tainted) love.

But not in a good way.

No one could make it quite like Nana.

Some of these really don’t look right.

The days are getting colder, and that means Father Depression is on his way.

It’s also incredibly painful.

Will it be Janice? Or maybe Bill Cosby?

A little bit of Monica in retrograde!

Grimace? Or perhaps Mayor McCheese?

You asked, Mack answered.

You asked, I answered!

“Grilled cheese” is a relative term.

Here’s what you need to know.

It might be uncomfortable, but it’s necessary.

It’s easy!

Who invited Steve?

It’s a reasonable question.

It’s unbelievably graphic!

I know you’re just minding your own business, and as a grown up, you probably don’t want to be lifted off the ground. But let me crack your back. Please.

The Rejuvenating Powers Of Sand By “Dr.” Guru King Nartec Jeff Roberts Leader Of The Church Of False-Vestigially Don’t be afraid, former sea-creature. We are all children of the ocean, having long ago emerged to walk the earth in the ancient year of 360 BC. Most historians wouldn’t tell you that, but of course, most […]

Because therapy is hard.

It was somewhere between Reykjavík and Midborg.

There’s a lot to explore here.

These jeans are the ultimate staycation location for those times you want to get away but don’t want to go very far.

He was paid in experience.

Dude’s been busy.

Move over, Apple.

Have you ever felt just a little TOO nude while doing naked karate?

Don’t even introduce yourself.

This is how you learned to eat your feelings.

My wife isn’t thrilled either.

Many have tried. Few have succeeded.

“Is he just chanting ‘NXT’ wrong?” asks 23-year-old Velveteen Dream.

Krakoa is getting REALLY popular.

He’s reportedly been ranting about it for months.

Exciting!

Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They’re weird, they’re funny, and they’re always so pretty! The Goldin Rules always offers something different! You’ll never see the same joke twice!

Welcome to Art Friends. A weekly web-comic brought to you by Ana Bagayan, the creator of viral-hit Ana’s Dollhouse!

It’s better than ‘Family Circus’ but shittier than ‘Marmaduke’ because everything is shittier than ‘Marmaduke.’

Have you talked to your kids?

It’s time someone said something.

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!

Your new girlfriend is NOT gonna be happy.

Please be honest.

There’s literally no downside.

There’s so many!

Many of those afflicted go untreated.

Finally!

You don’t need him anyway!

Was it Carl Winslow? Or maybe Danny Tanner?

A butt plug? Or perhaps a rubber fist?