Articles

Check Out These Cleaning Tricks Your Maid Should Really Know How To Do Already
Admit it—nothing stresses you out like keeping a tidy home. From family to friends, working out to wealth management, it’s hard to find the time to keep everything spick and span. Thankfully, we’ve got a few tips that’ll make cleaning a breeze, as long as your maid is paying attention when you explain them to […]

I Deserve The Right To Breastfeed My Snakes In Public
Sometimes when I breastfeed in public, ignorant store owners or cops feel the need to stop me instead of dealing with their own weird hangups. Breastfeeding is beautiful and natural. It’s a sacred bond between a mother and her young, and I should have the right to breastfeed my snakes in public whenever I want. […]
Lifestyle

The Beginner’s Guide To England’s Regional Butthole Slang
Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide, our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. This week, we’ll be taking you through: The Beginner’s Guide To England’s Regional Butthole Slang The United Kingdom is a very small country, but it’s such an old country […]
Beginners Guides
Butt Stuff
Color Of the Month

Color Of The Month: Coral? Peach? Salmon? Fuck. Get Me The Swatches.
OK, so: I was given this…color as our color of the month and told to write about it. I have no idea what to call this color. None. This month’s color is…rose…ish? No, less red than that. More orange. Apricot? Coral? Peach? Cantaloupe? Something like that. Maybe Salmon color. What does Salmon color even look like? […]
Fashion

Fun Winter Hats To Cover The Spots Where Your Brain Soaks Through
We’ve all been there.
Fetish Of The Month
Food and Recipes
Health

Organic Scarecrow: Save The Planet By Dressing An Ancient Mummy In Overalls
Let’s face it: nobody likes birds. This goes double for any salt-of-the-earth farmer maintaining their autumn kale crop or repurposed urban xeriscape. Unfortunately our current scarecrow technology has yet to advance past the wasteful hay usage long established in the 1900s, and I for one think it’s time we change that. That’s why I came […]
Horoscopes
Macaulay Culkin Answers Your Dumb Questions
Parenting
Relationships
Spiritual Wellness

I Tried Nu Metal Primal Scream Therapy And Now I Baw Wit A Newfound Sense Of Oh Wah Ah Ah Ah
I’m not typically so skeptical on first introductions. I’ve tried a lot of non-traditional therapies. I had to admit, however, that the atmosphere of this waiting room was … unusual. The receptionist was covered in silver body paint and wearing what looked like paintball safety gear. An entire wall of the room was devoted to […]
Travel Guides

#Getaway: The New Vacation Everyone Needs To Take
Let’s face it: in 2018, what even is a great vacation anymore? Destination trips are filled with unpleasant surprises, from last second price hikes, children being eaten by alligators, and fucking sand. Likewise, it’s increasingly difficult to find the time, what with more and more millennials taking gigs and second jobs just for the opportunity […]
Macaulay Culkin
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Pop Culture

A Psychic Helped Me Unleash My Inner Power, But Keeps Spoiling “WWE RAW” For Me
Everything was so hazy at first… In the distance, I saw myself in a board meeting, and I was CEO, my eyes glowing with pride. Shadows parted way, and I suddenly saw myself on a date with a perfect 10, confident, stylish, leaning in for a first kiss. But the fog returned, and when it […]