Articles

Here are some wacky and nostalgic recipes for edibles baked in the fiery kiln of an Easy-Bake Oven. Users be warned: It isn’t always easy being easy baked.

It’s just my unbiased opinion.

It’s gotta be good for something, right?

You probably don’t have anything meaningful to do right now anyway.

Morally compromise everyone you love for the day of your dreams.

You don’t even have to be dead!

The advice for taking a big old honker of a butt plug is the same advice that’s going to help you power your bottom through your podcast’s third rebrand.

No need to thank us.

Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide, our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. This week, we’ll be taking you through: The Beginner’s Guide To England’s Regional Butthole Slang The United Kingdom is a very small country, but it’s such an old country […]

The color of the month is flesh!

The advantages of being white never go out of style!

OK, so: I was given this…color as our color of the month and told to write about it. I have no idea what to call this color. None. This month’s color is…rose…ish? No, less red than that. More orange. Apricot? Coral? Peach? Cantaloupe? Something like that. Maybe Salmon color. What does Salmon color even look like? […]

Keep this insane ruse going just a little longer!

Yum!

‘There’s just so much pus.’

People are fickle and disappointing, but objects last forever.

I would honestly wreck B-list Dad actor Deidrich Bader.

Hey there sex-positive adventurers! You and your special someone are about to embark on a sensual trip to Flavortown. And if all goes as planned, Guy Fieri will have nothing to do with it. Our current fetish of the month is Soup Porn. Soup Porn is a category of pornography that is comprised of a […]

Cut out the middleman and prep for the bully’s palette instead! It’s good to know there’s at least one person likes your cooking.

Hint: It’s whatever we want!

“Has this white woman ever had chicken before?” My dad asks, staring at the chicken. “This tastes like the ghost of flavored meat,” My mom says.

Pretty soon I stopped saying, “I’m sorry, why is this extra hot latte I asked for undrinkably hot? Are you trying to kill me via Starbucks?” and started saying, “Thank you for burning my tongue and ruining my day, you incompetent shit.”

Show your tree how much you love it…physically.

These cute and cuddly teddy bears are a great way to accentuate your manly space.

It’s not your fault

Just don’t call it your spirit animal, okay? That’s problematic.

With overpopulation, global travel, and not one, but several strains of drug-resistant superbugs already taking hold, it’s safe to say that you and everyone you know will die in a pandemic (soon). And if modern history has taught us anything, this pandemic will likely come in the form of classic influenza. But will you die of […]

“Grilled cheese” is a relative term.

Mack knows all.

Spoiler: He has. And it was epic.

I gave birth to him, and I can un-give it.

You can do this.

Here’s what you need to know.

Words of affirmation cost extra.

I honestly don’t see the problem.

Who invited Steve?

We prefer cash. Thanks.

Your move, Edwina.

Your wedding gift registry isn’t about tradition, it’s about letting guests know you can outscrew anyone, in explicit detail!

The ocean is terrible and full of scary fish and fish-monsters. Why do you want to go there? What’s wrong with you?

Oh gross, they barfed in this excerpt. C’mon!

You’ve heard of Club 33, right? You know, that secret club at Disneyland you can only get into if you know the right people where they probably, like, smoke cigars and pass around a poor girl who moved to Hollywood with dreams of being an actress but ended up playing Cinderella for most of her […]

There’s a valid reason. Kinda.

New Orleans celebrates Mardi Gras the two weeks before Shrove Tuesday, which is … when?

Hey look, it’s Denver!

Have you ever felt just a little TOO nude while doing naked karate?

Don’t even introduce yourself.

They are connoisseurs of tushie excellence.

Real advice from a real man’s mirror.

“The only time this much havoc had been wreaked by so few people, you need to go all the way back to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse!” – Used by Arn Anderson of the Four Horsemen, Stolen from Randy Paulson, the Fifth Horseman

I’m a lifelong fan of professional wrestling, thanks to my dad. We’ve always enjoyed cheering for the best of the best. From Stone Cold flipping off Vince to The Rock electrifying millions, both my dad and I were hardcore fans. But as time moved on, things have changed. The current era of WWE has thrown […]

Krakoa is getting REALLY popular.

He’s reportedly been ranting about it for months.

Exciting!

Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They’re weird, they’re funny, and they’re always so pretty! The Goldin Rules always offers something different! You’ll never see the same joke twice!

Welcome to Art Friends. A weekly web-comic brought to you by Ana Bagayan, the creator of viral-hit Ana’s Dollhouse!

It’s better than ‘Family Circus’ but shittier than ‘Marmaduke’ because everything is shittier than ‘Marmaduke.’

SPOILER ALERT!

Have you talked to your kids?

It’s time someone said something.

The first stage of grief is harder than the last stage of Forest of Illusion.

He’s marrying an orc or whatever.

Your cousin lied when he said he shot the dog in Duck Hunt. Because if he had, he’d be scarred for life.

It’s the literally the worst place!

It’s a phrase I’ve seen a thousand times on armbands, miniature towels, and neon-bright t-shirts throughout the last 15 years. It’s not just a saying, but a way of life; a mantra which one can turn to when their dreams seem so far out of reach. Yet as I lay here on this hospital gurney, […]

My wife isn’t thrilled either.

You don’t need him anyway!

Was it Carl Winslow? Or maybe Danny Tanner?

A butt plug? Or perhaps a rubber fist?