Articles

Read on for the latest trends in dildo couture.

Have you heard of alternate nostril breathing?

Want to save the planet AND keep being an unimprovable slob? Our biodegradable work-out equipment lets you finally feel good about doing nothing!

You probably don’t have anything meaningful to do right now anyway.

Morally compromise everyone you love for the day of your dreams.

You don’t even have to be dead!

They’re like regular hickeys, but on your butt.

The advice for taking a big old honker of a butt plug is the same advice that’s going to help you power your bottom through your podcast’s third rebrand.

No need to thank us.

I’m mortified just thinking of what to write here!

The color of the month is flesh!

The advantages of being white never go out of style!

Keep this insane ruse going just a little longer!

Yum!

‘There’s just so much pus.’

Frat parties and butt-chugging kegs are so passé. Sure they get you drunk and horny, but no one’s good at naked stuff when they’ve tossed back too many, so stop kidding yourself.

People are fickle and disappointing, but objects last forever.

I would honestly wreck B-list Dad actor Deidrich Bader.

Check out our reviews of these actual savory ice cream flavors apparently made by demon aliens who want to ruin everything you love in this world.

You wanna throw coffee in your boss’s face but it has to be the right kind because you are above all, professional.

Because brunch is expensive but tricking your friends into eating your gross food is priceless.

You’re probably used to singing the worst karaoke songs ever. If you’re one of those people who love singing songs that end too quickly, this is for you.

Nearly 30 years later, the subject of the Spin Doctors’ memorable hit gives HER side of the story.

When Bunny Ears used a stock image of my face in an article about micropenises, I thought my life was over. It was only just beginning.

Hint: You’re not going to want to go anywhere near a What Kind of Fast Food are You Based on Your Zodiac article if you’re a Pisces!

It’s not your fault

Just don’t call it your spirit animal, okay? That’s problematic.

“Grilled cheese” is a relative term.

Mack knows all.

Spoiler: He has. And it was epic.

I gave birth to him, and I can un-give it.

You can do this.

Here’s what you need to know.

Words of affirmation cost extra.

I honestly don’t see the problem.

Who invited Steve?

We need to teach our boys consent, mutual respect, and how to freaking rock at magic.

My leash kid is on a leash. The dogs are on leashes. I don’t see the problem?

Self care is important. That’s why we want you to listen to your body. No, like REALLY listen to it. Know what we’re saying?

The ocean is terrible and full of scary fish and fish-monsters. Why do you want to go there? What’s wrong with you?

Oh gross, they barfed in this excerpt. C’mon!

You’ve heard of Club 33, right? You know, that secret club at Disneyland you can only get into if you know the right people where they probably, like, smoke cigars and pass around a poor girl who moved to Hollywood with dreams of being an actress but ended up playing Cinderella for most of her […]

You really shouldn’t be concerned with Macaulay Culkin’s net worth if he isn’t.

Macaulay Culkin is going to point at things forever!

There’s a valid reason. Kinda.

Have you ever felt just a little TOO nude while doing naked karate?

Don’t even introduce yourself.

They are connoisseurs of tushie excellence.

Whether it’s the blue-collar dad, hitting Home Depot or the suited up sophistico browsing the frou-frou catalog for backyard fun to keep his kids occupied this summer, they all think a treehouse is a cure to their kids’ summer boredom. But there’s a problem: even with a treehouse, they can still find their way back […]

Hey, remember Collective Soul, that mildly agreeable rock band from the ’90s? It’s weird if you do, because as it turns out, it never existed.

X-Box controllers are expensive. Try throwing these unimportant things instead.

Krakoa is getting REALLY popular.

He’s reportedly been ranting about it for months.

Exciting!

Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They’re weird, they’re funny, and they’re always so pretty! The Goldin Rules always offers something different! You’ll never see the same joke twice!

Welcome to Art Friends. A weekly web-comic brought to you by Ana Bagayan, the creator of viral-hit Ana’s Dollhouse!

It’s better than ‘Family Circus’ but shittier than ‘Marmaduke’ because everything is shittier than ‘Marmaduke.’

SPOILER ALERT!

Have you talked to your kids?

It’s time someone said something.

Everyone told me a male game developer shouldn’t try to make a feminist video game about the gender pay gap. But I did it anyway.

ToeJam & Earl is a dope game, and the sequel is out now so go buy it you jerk.

The first stage of grief is harder than the last stage of Forest of Illusion.

Not even the time gem can take this one back.

Remember the military guy from the ’80s heyday of the WWF? He’s radically different out of the ring…emphasis on “radical.”

Not everyone is cut out for the silver screen like John Cena or Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. The job market is tough for former pro-wrestlers, but with the right motivation, you can be out of your spandex tights and into a sensible pair of khaki work slacks in no time. Here are a few job […]

You don’t need him anyway!

Was it Carl Winslow? Or maybe Danny Tanner?

A butt plug? Or perhaps a rubber fist?