Articles

Hello, concerned adults and classmates! I’m a man now. I’m sorry you feel so threatened by this that you need to pretend your problem is with my beautiful lip fringe. Being a man means I can wear the same underwear for two weeks, shout horrible slurs playing PUBG, and start rumors about Anya using special-order jumbo […]

Oh boy, I hope I get to lick a doorknob!

Hey guys, I’m so glad that you came to check out my fave sugar cookie recipe! I know you probably just want to scroll down to the ingredients and get the recipe, but I’m going to make that as difficult for you as possible. Some might say I’m holding the recipe hostage. But instead of […]

Clearly, the benefits of imprisoning decorative animals can no longer be ignored.

The voice inside your head calling you a screw-up may be right, but remember that no one else can hear it! Probably.

Avoid humiliation, you giant barbarian.

Stop treating your A-hole like your B-hole.

We’ve got the ‘sticking stuff up your butt’ beat covered, thanks.

They are connoisseurs of tushie excellence.

It’s literally all we can hear, taste, and smell.

Some call it an abomination. We call it the official color of November 2019!

It just isn’t right.

Keep this insane ruse going just a little longer!

Yum!

‘There’s just so much pus.’

It’s so, so satisfying.

It takes both time and commitment to get me anywhere even close to an orgasm.

They make us feel seen.

Yes, even the cute ones. Especially the cute ones. Mmmmm delicious wildlife preservation.

Get ready to feel fantastic!

We checked.

Weddings, the bane of any 20-something guest’s pocketbook. Don’t get me wrong, who doesn’t love a good wedding? The food is a step above cafeteria (mass produced but actually damn good), everyone is dressed to the nines (a favorite trait of yours truly) and the possibilities for where the night could go, on wings of […]

Minimalism is here to stay. What’s the point of filling your domicile with meaningless junk when there’s no point to anything? If you’re ready to dive into the design style that answers the question “what brings me joy?” with “almost nothing,” here’s a few rules of thumb for making your dwelling look as empty as […]

This is a story of a sweet, innocent young woman letting go, embracing her kinky side, and learning to reconcile those two facets of her personality. I was a sexually inexperienced grad student when I first met “Dan,” an interior designer whose taste in decor was pretty standard, but whose sexual proclivities were anything but […]

Will it be Janice? Or maybe Bill Cosby?

A little bit of Monica in retrograde!

Grimace? Or perhaps Mayor McCheese?

You asked, Mack answered.

You asked, I answered!

“Grilled cheese” is a relative term.

Here’s what you need to know.

It might be uncomfortable, but it’s necessary.

It’s easy!

Who invited Steve?

It’s a reasonable question.

It’s unbelievably graphic!

I don’t know how it works, but it does!

In our identity-obsessed culture, it’s dangerous to put people in boxes—both literally and figuratively. But while there’s no one way to define a soul, there are definitely strong universal energies which we all possess that help define who we are. And today, I want to talk specifically about Big Dick Energy (BDE). Everyone and their […]

Having a personal trainer is great but who likes working out? Why move your body around like a poor building rocks for money or whatever when you could just wait for a sexy android body to come on the market someday? It’s tough; the urge to call your personal trainer at 3AM to screech JUST […]

Take in the view of those hangers!

There’s a lot to explore here.

It was somewhere between Reykjavík and Midborg.

He was paid in experience.

Dude’s been busy.

Move over, Apple.

Have you ever felt just a little TOO nude while doing naked karate?

Don’t even introduce yourself.

Bleaching your butthole is out. Bleaching then TIE-DYING your butthole is very in.

It’s a legitimate question, okay?

The people of 1597 should be ashamed.

Like she’ll DEFINITELY remember your face.

Krakoa is getting REALLY popular.

He’s reportedly been ranting about it for months.

Exciting!

Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They’re weird, they’re funny, and they’re always so pretty! The Goldin Rules always offers something different! You’ll never see the same joke twice!

Welcome to Art Friends. A weekly web-comic brought to you by Ana Bagayan, the creator of viral-hit Ana’s Dollhouse!

It’s better than ‘Family Circus’ but shittier than ‘Marmaduke’ because everything is shittier than ‘Marmaduke.’

SPOILER ALERT!

Have you talked to your kids?

It’s time someone said something.

Your new girlfriend is NOT gonna be happy.

Please be honest.

There’s literally no downside.

“Is he just chanting ‘NXT’ wrong?” asks 23-year-old Velveteen Dream.

I still don’t know why.

There’s so many!

You don’t need him anyway!

Was it Carl Winslow? Or maybe Danny Tanner?

A butt plug? Or perhaps a rubber fist?