Articles

There’s no denying that healing crystals have incredible power.1 But just how far does this power go? We’ve used and endorsed crystals to cure headaches, colds, and other common aliments,2 but today we’re here to tell you that, when applied correctly, crystals can do so much more.3 They can even help you overcome cancer, as […]

Hey! It’s you! It feels like it’s been so long. I missed you. Come, friends. Learn the ancient wisdom of the stars to prevent the most common health ailments suffered by your zodiac sign. I love you. So try to stick around for a while, OK? Aries You’re active and energetic … which also likely […]

Kink shaming is a thing of the past; now, it’s all about body positivity and living your best life. You do you, figuratively or literally. It doesn’t really matter. Life is short, and we are all going to die. Our color of the month, asphyxiation, is a trendy way to showcase your hidden desires to […]

Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide to [Blank], our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. Life is full of exciting opportunities, and while it’s fine to tackle a new adventure on your own, we here at Bunny Ears know that it’s better […]

Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide to [Blank], our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. Life is full of exciting opportunities, and while it’s fine to tackle a new adventure on your own, we here at Bunny Ears know that it’s better […]

Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide to [Blank], our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. Life is full of exciting opportunities, and while it’s fine to tackle a new adventure on your own, we here at Bunny Ears know that it’s better […]

We’re saying ‘yes’ to summer and ‘no more’ to your lawsuits!

We as a society place a lot of restrictions on ourselves when it comes to relationships. But I’m here to let you know it’s OK to be spontaneous. Happy, even! As long as your sexual proclivities are between two (or more) consenting adults you can just feel free to go right on and let your […]

Stop treating your A-hole like your B-hole.

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]This month’s Bunny Ears’ Color of the Month is magenta, AKA, the manliest of colors. We know what you’re probably thinking. Magenta? Isn’t that one of those fru-fru colors for fancy boys and jockeys, like salmon, or teal? Isn’t it the color of princess parties, and girls like Zoe Kravitz? And aren’t the only people […]

It goes with literally everything—especially your tears.

It’s literally all we can hear, taste, and smell.

Keep this insane ruse going just a little longer!

Yum!

‘There’s just so much pus.’

We’re saying it loud, and we’re saying it proud!

It’s so, so satisfying.

It takes both time and commitment to get me anywhere even close to an orgasm.

Heirloom recipes are so special. They’re like a time machine that can transport us directly back to our childhood kitchens. I know when I take one bite of this wonderful gingerbread recipe I’m right back next to my grandmother in her warm, homey cottage in the woods. I’m so excited to share this fabulous recipe […]

Earlier this year, I may have ill-advisedly shared five cocktail recipes with Bunny Ears readers during a, um, difficult time in my personal life. In the midst of a brutal divorce, I succumbed to the devil brew, and I was advised by my “lawyer” to check into a rehabilitation facility. I’m happy to report that I’m […]

I’ve tried plenty of detoxes—the juice cleanse, the yogurt cleanse, the ranch dressing cleanse—but no matter what I tried, I couldn’t transcend this stubborn human dimension. Until now, that is. I’ve been on the rose petals cleanse for at least three months, though time has become somewhat a moot concept now that I partially inhabit the […]

For some people, the shower is a place of absolute comfort where you can sing, formulate insane Fresh Prince fan theories, or even shed a few tears without judgment. For others, the shower is a place of vulnerability, where the ultimate embarrassment or a knife-wielding maniac is only separated by the tug of a curtain. […]

This year, as you’re polishing off the ol’ family machete for your traditional summer camp killing spree, keep in mind how the world is changing. Some of your behavior on past killing sprees is now considered unacceptable. That’s always been the case, according to Mother, but if you don’t start making the following changes, you’ll […]

Kidneys, you gotta have em. Some people think just one is acceptable but here at Bunny Ears we highly recommend at least two. MC himself has four on him at all times. We wanted to take a moment today to slow down and dish about the hippest vital organ in everyone’s body. Kidneys Filter Your Blood This […]

The Zodiac guides us through challenges in life. The stars are as wise as they are numerous, and strongly advise which recipes you should use to prepare salmon! Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19) Those who fall under the sign of Aries are teeming with chaotic energy. Mars, god of war, compels you to seek […]

Finally!

Sorry…

Hello everyone. World-famous actor and legendary human being Macaulay Culkin here. Now, most of you have been admiring me from afar for several decades, and let me be the first to say thank you, I’m flattered. But let me also be the first to say that after years of near-Biblical fame and adulation, I’m ready […]

Boy-boy-boy do they make no sense!

What? Oh no.

I gave birth to him, and I can un-give it.

You can do this.

Here’s what you need to know.

Words of affirmation cost extra.

I honestly don’t see the problem.

Who invited Steve?

Who Rescued Whom is a new recurring series where Bunny Ears’ resident animal expert Allison Mick guides you through the many things you should know about adopting rescue animals — especially crows! So you think you’re ready to rescue a pet, but you’re not depressed enough for a cat and don’t want people saying “doggo” […]

When people find out I am host to a tapeworm and an Amazonian dick fish, they always ask the same questions: “What the fuck?” “Have you seen someone about that?” And finally, “do they get along?” The answers are, respectively, “please don’t swear around my tapeworm,” “of course not,” and a resounding “yes.” But it […]

Everyone enlightened with holistic knowledge knows that doctors are the Hitlers of modern history. While peace is the best policy, there comes a time in every person’s life when they simply must fight back against oppression, and in the war for our children’s safety, there is no price too high. This is why, in the […]

There’s a whole world of fun back there to enjoy while the goons drive you to the murder spot.

Read this guide / when you slide / to a world of fear and trepidation.

Your vacation won’t be relaxing if you have to scream, “I want water! Water. WATER. WAAAT-ERR!” every time you’re thirsty.

Macaulay Culkin meets his most-obsessed fan.

He was paid in experience.

Dude’s been busy.

Have you ever felt just a little TOO nude while doing naked karate?

Don’t even introduce yourself.

They are connoisseurs of tushie excellence.

It’s a phrase I’ve seen a thousand times on armbands, miniature towels, and neon-bright t-shirts throughout the last 15 years. It’s not just a saying, but a way of life; a mantra which one can turn to when their dreams seem so far out of reach. Yet as I lay here on this hospital gurney, […]

We know you’ve always thought about it.

The first stage of grief is harder than the last stage of Forest of Illusion.

Krakoa is getting REALLY popular.

He’s reportedly been ranting about it for months.

Exciting!

Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They’re weird, they’re funny, and they’re always so pretty! The Goldin Rules always offers something different! You’ll never see the same joke twice!

Welcome to Art Friends. A weekly web-comic brought to you by Ana Bagayan, the creator of viral-hit Ana’s Dollhouse!

It’s better than ‘Family Circus’ but shittier than ‘Marmaduke’ because everything is shittier than ‘Marmaduke.’

SPOILER ALERT!

Have you talked to your kids?

It’s time someone said something.

Your cousin lied when he said he shot the dog in Duck Hunt. Because if he had, he’d be scarred for life.

I don’t know why everybody called my uncles “Bad Dudes,” because they were good dudes. More than good. Probably the best people I’ll ever know.

Oops.

“Is he just chanting ‘NXT’ wrong?” asks 23-year-old Velveteen Dream.

I still don’t know why.

There’s so many!

You don’t need him anyway!

Was it Carl Winslow? Or maybe Danny Tanner?

A butt plug? Or perhaps a rubber fist?