How To Make People Think You Know What You Are Doing (When You Clearly Don’t)
The voice inside your head calling you a screw-up may be right, but remember that no one else can hear it! Probably.
The Rejuvenating Powers Of Sand
The Rejuvenating Powers Of Sand By “Dr.” Guru King Nartec Jeff Roberts Leader Of The Church Of False-Vestigially Don’t be afraid, former sea-creature. We are all children of the ocean, having long ago emerged to walk the earth in the ancient year of 360 BC. Most historians wouldn’t tell you that, but of course, most […]
EARN YOUR FUR: How To Kill This Fall’s Hottest Living Creatures
What’s really hot right now is only wearing what you’ve truly earned, asserting your dominance over the fashion industry, and nature itself.
How To Actualize Your Healing With Wellness Therapy
Follow my easy method for actualizing your mental and/or physical healing with wellness therapy.
Signs Your Time-Traveling Husband Has A Second Family In 1886
It’s never a positive sign if your husband is suddenly snapped back to 2019 without any clothes on and a slightly sweaty sheen to him.
A Simple Guide To Wines So You Don’t Look Like A Caveman At Dinner
Avoid humiliation, you giant barbarian.
Have An Eco-Friendly Halloween By Decorating With Real Corpses
They’re 100% biodegradable and look fantastic!
The Hottest New Look Is Bleaching Then Tie-Dying Your Butthole
Bleaching your butthole is out. Bleaching then TIE-DYING your butthole is very in.
Color Of the Month
Color Of The Month: The Slightly Gray Skin Under Your Exhausted Eyes
It goes with literally everything—especially your tears.
Color Of The Month: Artificial Banana Flavoring (Synesthesia Edition!)
It’s literally all we can hear, taste, and smell.
Color Of The Month: Green Ketchup
Some call it an abomination. We call it the official color of November 2019!
The Best Cakes To Smash Into Your Face When Trying To Fool A Social Worker
Keep this insane ruse going just a little longer!
Red Eyeshadow Is The Hottest New Look Until I Recover From This Infection
‘There’s just so much pus.’
Fetish Of The Month
Fetish Of The Month: Constant, Laborious Dedication To Getting Me Off
It takes both time and commitment to get me anywhere even close to an orgasm.
Food and Recipes
My Secret Ingredient Is Love, Which Has Been Recalled Due To Fecal Contamination
Literal (tainted) love.
Alexander The Grape Is Back From The Dead, Unlike Your Grandma
And so is Mr. Melon, Johnny Appletreats, and the Cherry Clan!
Let Us Prepare For The Arrival Of Father Depression!
The days are getting colder, and that means Father Depression is on his way.
Hogwarts Sex: Where You’ll Get It On, According To The Zodiac
Don’t tell us you’ve never thought about it.
Who You’ll Come Back To Haunt After You Die, Based On Your Sign!
Will it be Janice? Or maybe Bill Cosby?
Macaulay Culkin Answers Your Dumb Questions
Mack Answers Your Dumb Questions: ‘What’s The Biggest Misconception About You?’
You asked, I answered!
Mack Answers Your Dumb Questions: ‘What’s Your Favorite Grilled Cheese Recipe?’
“Grilled cheese” is a relative term.
How To Talk To Your Teens About The Dangers Of James Woods
It might be uncomfortable, but it’s necessary.
Deep Breathing Exercises For When Your Home Is Getting Robbed Right Now
Don’t let the stress of a home invasion get to you.
I’m Only Taking Parenting Advice From Killer Whales From Now On
Killer whales have dominated the mommy game lately, which is why I’m now only communicating with my children with squeaking and nose bumps.
Spice Up Your Open Relationship By Competing To Screw The Most Neighbors!
Modern love is a strange, exhausting experience.
Vacation Guide: The Closet Of The Woman You’re Having An Affair With
Take in the view of those hangers!
What To Do With That Icelandic Elf You Accidentally Murdered
It was somewhere between Reykjavík and Midborg.
Travel Guide: The Inside Of A JNCO Jeans Leg
These jeans are the ultimate staycation location for those times you want to get away but don’t want to go very far.
Our Favorite Articles
Exclusive: Macaulay Culkin Interviews The Swarm Of Bees From My Girl
(Editors Note: After a considerable amount of negotiation between a phalanx of lawyers, agents, managers, publicists, stylists, socialists and one 76-year-old beekeeper from Arizona, Bunny Ears is proud to share the EXCLUSIVE reunion interview between Macaulay Culkin and the swarm of bees that viciously attacked him in the 90’s hit My Girl. What follows was transcribed, […]
6 Bathrobes Perfect For Doing Coked-Up Naked Karate
Have you ever felt just a little TOO nude while doing naked karate?
The Best Foods To Eat In Your Room While Your Parents Fight Downstairs
This is how you learned to eat your feelings.
Stubborn Fan Still Chants ‘ECW!’ At Shows
“Is he just chanting ‘NXT’ wrong?” asks 23-year-old Velveteen Dream.
All The Non-Mutant Superheroes Trying To Get On That ‘Freaky, Sexy Island’
Krakoa is getting REALLY popular.
‘Daily Bugle’ Editor Demands TikTok Footage Of Spider-Man
He’s reportedly been ranting about it for months.
Galaxys For Hire
Two outlaw sisters go on the run from an army when they learn the ship they’ve called home is the final puzzle piece of an ancient giant robot capable of unmaking reality. A sex-bot army and the secret history of the universe will follow!
Katie Goldin’s Golden Rules
Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They’re weird, they’re funny, and they’re always so pretty! The Goldin Rules always offers something different! You’ll never see the same joke twice!
Ana’s Dollhouse Presents: Art Friends
Welcome to Art Friends. A weekly web-comic brought to you by Ana Bagayan, the creator of viral-hit Ana’s Dollhouse!
It’s better than ‘Family Circus’ but shittier than ‘Marmaduke’ because everything is shittier than ‘Marmaduke.’
TV and Movies
Uh Oh, Your Dead Wife Has Been Retconned Back To Being Alive!
Your new girlfriend is NOT gonna be happy.
Quiz: Which ‘80s Sitcom Dad Did Your Mom Most Likely Jerk It To?
Was it Carl Winslow? Or maybe Danny Tanner?