Articles

Not everybody gets to stay at the most beautiful and luxurious hotels in the world. Especially not you anymore after what you’ve done in them.

Open wound salves are a huge part of my everyday routine, which is why I know not all salves are created equal. In fact, most wound ointments not only sting when applied, but they come out greasy—and no one wants to get that oily mess on a loved one or sexual partner. I need the […]

Millennials are reportedly the least likely generation to consider themselves religious. And as the proud leader of my own legally-defined church, I find it greatly disheartening that this new generation appears to worship their Beyoncés and Andrew Garfields over the one true God. And considering the oppression my divine faith has received from the so-called […]

Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide to [Blank], our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. Life is full of exciting opportunities, and while it’s fine to tackle a new adventure on your own, we here at Bunny Ears know that it’s better […]

Hi, my name is Daniel O’Brien, and I am a hiker, Escape Room–avoider, and author, but before all that, many years ago, I was a camp counselor. I worked at a summer camp in Old Bridge, New Jersey for several years, and I still look back on the experience with tremendous fondness. I got to […]

Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide to [Blank], our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. Life is full of exciting opportunities, and while it’s fine to tackle a new adventure on your own, we here at Bunny Ears know that it’s better […]

We’re saying ‘yes’ to summer and ‘no more’ to your lawsuits!

We as a society place a lot of restrictions on ourselves when it comes to relationships. But I’m here to let you know it’s OK to be spontaneous. Happy, even! As long as your sexual proclivities are between two (or more) consenting adults you can just feel free to go right on and let your […]

Stop treating your A-hole like your B-hole.

It’s literally all we can hear, taste, and smell.

Some call it an abomination. We call it the official color of November 2019!

It just isn’t right.

Keep this insane ruse going just a little longer!

Yum!

‘There’s just so much pus.’

It’s so, so satisfying.

It takes both time and commitment to get me anywhere even close to an orgasm.

They make us feel seen.

So, you’ve been given the exciting opportunity to travel to Asia, huh? Congratulations! But let us guess—your time there is limited, and you’re unsure of what sights and experiences you should prioritize so you can score some sick social media pics. That’s understandable, because Asia is huge! It has over five countries, and they all […]

The idea that tiny houses are more affordable is a common misconception. If you put your mind to it, there’s no reason you can’t live beyond your means in less than 200 square feet of space. Beth and Mike Swendell found that out the hard way when they were recently evicted from a handcrafted, Nordic-accented tiny […]

Don’t be afraid to really slather it into all your nooks and crannies, about 30-45 minutes before you roll into town

So, you played Jumanji and now your house is filled to the brim with animals. What do you do now?

He says he has trouble controlling his happiness.

Finally!

Will it be Janice? Or maybe Bill Cosby?

A little bit of Monica in retrograde!

Grimace? Or perhaps Mayor McCheese?

You asked, Mack answered.

You asked, I answered!

“Grilled cheese” is a relative term.

I gave birth to him, and I can un-give it.

You can do this.

Here’s what you need to know.

Words of affirmation cost extra.

I honestly don’t see the problem.

Who invited Steve?

In our culture, when we talk about the NASDAQ Composite, most traders tend to focus on how it is “gross,” “messy,” and “not as good as the New York Stock Exchange.” But there’s a lot more to it. And, like a lot of things, the key to unlocking the NASDAQ’s deepest secrets might actually be […]

Rummage through the trash of life and find your true self!

If you’re gonna sacrifice a virgin, you better sacrifice a virgin the right way.

Read this guide / when you slide / to a world of fear and trepidation.

Your vacation won’t be relaxing if you have to scream, “I want water! Water. WATER. WAAAT-ERR!” every time you’re thirsty.

People say it’s not about the destination but the journey to get there—but I say as long as you made it there in one piece, who cares how it happened.

He was paid in experience.

Dude’s been busy.

Move over, Apple.

Have you ever felt just a little TOO nude while doing naked karate?

Don’t even introduce yourself.

They are connoisseurs of tushie excellence.

He’s marrying an orc or whatever.

Your cousin lied when he said he shot the dog in Duck Hunt. Because if he had, he’d be scarred for life.

And yours can, too!

Krakoa is getting REALLY popular.

He’s reportedly been ranting about it for months.

Exciting!

Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They’re weird, they’re funny, and they’re always so pretty! The Goldin Rules always offers something different! You’ll never see the same joke twice!

Welcome to Art Friends. A weekly web-comic brought to you by Ana Bagayan, the creator of viral-hit Ana’s Dollhouse!

It’s better than ‘Family Circus’ but shittier than ‘Marmaduke’ because everything is shittier than ‘Marmaduke.’

SPOILER ALERT!

Have you talked to your kids?

It’s time someone said something.

Oops.

Take the blue pill, take the red pill, take all the pills from Dr. Mario. (Except for the red-blue one.)

It was for ‘Cyberpunk 2077’ or something?

“Is he just chanting ‘NXT’ wrong?” asks 23-year-old Velveteen Dream.

I still don’t know why.

There’s so many!

You don’t need him anyway!

Was it Carl Winslow? Or maybe Danny Tanner?

A butt plug? Or perhaps a rubber fist?