How To Not Feel Judged By Your Friends’ Sobriety
I am a human being trying to live her best life. And for me that means vodka all day every day. And I am not going to apologize for that.
Find A Therapist That Won’t Disagree With You
You aren’t paying all that money for someone to tell you you are wrong!
You’ll Never Believe How Many Slides Are In This Slideshow Of Women Holding Mugs
Hint: There’s so fucking many!
Revive Your Marriage In Three Easy Steps and $15 Million in Gold Bullion
Your marriage is more like gold than you think, which is why you should invest in both your love and this incredibly stable currency form TODAY!
The Beginner’s Guide To Salt (Because There’s A LOT Of Options)
You probably don’t have anything meaningful to do right now anyway.
The Beginner’s Guide To The Perfect Plantation Wedding
Morally compromise everyone you love for the day of your dreams.
The Beginner’s Guide To England’s Regional Butthole Slang
Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide, our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. This week, we’ll be taking you through: The Beginner’s Guide To England’s Regional Butthole Slang The United Kingdom is a very small country, but it’s such an old country […]
Rose Gold Butt Plugs For Surviving Your Podcast’s Third Rebrand
The advice for taking a big old honker of a butt plug is the same advice that’s going to help you power your bottom through your podcast’s third rebrand.
The Best Vitamins To Soak Your Tampons In Before Sticking Them Up Your Butt
Taking care of my health is very important to me. But I’m a very busy woman and I don’t have the time to keep track of which vitamins, minerals, and birth controls I’ve ingested in the past 24 hours. That’s why I’m so in love with the vitamin tampons trend. So convenient for an on-the-go […]
Color Of the Month
Color Of The Month: Coral? Peach? Salmon? Fuck. Get Me The Swatches.
OK, so: I was given this…color as our color of the month and told to write about it. I have no idea what to call this color. None. This month’s color is…rose…ish? No, less red than that. More orange. Apricot? Coral? Peach? Cantaloupe? Something like that. Maybe Salmon color. What does Salmon color even look like? […]
Color Of The Month: Color Me Badd
We know we’re going to catch some heat over this month’s pick for color of the month (get ready to weather the storm of all those angry pro-Orange comments, everyone). But pound for pound, no other color on the spectrum of visible light brought their A-game quite like that plucky little quartet from Oklahoma City, […]
The Best Cakes To Smash Into Your Face When Trying To Fool A Social Worker
Keep this insane ruse going just a little longer!
Red Eyeshadow Is The Hottest New Look Until I Recover From This Infection
‘There’s just so much pus.’
Fetish Of The Month
Fetish of the Month: Docking On Your Bros
Frat parties and butt-chugging kegs are so passé. Sure they get you drunk and horny, but no one’s good at naked stuff when they’ve tossed back too many, so stop kidding yourself.
I Refuse To Be Ashamed Of My Fetish, Having Sex With Boring Dudes
I would honestly wreck B-list Dad actor Deidrich Bader.
Fetish Of The Month: Soup Porn
Hey there sex-positive adventurers! You and your special someone are about to embark on a sensual trip to Flavortown. And if all goes as planned, Guy Fieri will have nothing to do with it. Our current fetish of the month is Soup Porn. Soup Porn is a category of pornography that is comprised of a […]
Food and Recipes
Our Recipe For Trapped Spider Mug Cake
Everyone loves mug cake! It’s fast, easy, and impossible to see what’s inside the mug once you’ve begun making it. Here’s how we happened upon this recipe.
How To Survive No Martini March
Alcohol is a complicated part of modern life. It’s fun in moderation but damaging in excess, and sometimes the line between the two is blurry. It never hurts to take a break from alcohol for the sake of your physical and mental well-being. But in our busy world of Tinder dates, business lunches, and bar […]
Elbows Are Out: Hinges Made of Lincoln Logs Are In
Not only are my Lincoln Log hinges fashionable they also make so many daily activities better. No longer do I have to worry about damaging my joints when I do yoga.
8 Black And White Photos Of Pregnant Women For You To Do Whatever With
You’ve worked hard all week, and quite frankly, you deserve a break! That’s why we’ve created this slideshow of black and white photos of pregnant women for you to do, you know, whatever with. No need to go into detail. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy these beautiful visions of gestation in whatever manner you […]
What’s Your Fursona Based On Your Star Sign?
Just don’t call it your spirit animal, okay? That’s problematic.
Horoscope: Which Type Of Flu Will Kill You When The Pandemic Hits?
With overpopulation, global travel, and not one, but several strains of drug-resistant superbugs already taking hold, it’s safe to say that you and everyone you know will die in a pandemic (soon). And if modern history has taught us anything, this pandemic will likely come in the form of classic influenza. But will you die of […]
What VD You Definitely Have Right Now Based On Your Star Sign
This month’s Bunny Ears horoscope will tell you which venereal disease you have at this very moment while you’re reading this.
Macaulay Culkin Answers Your Dumb Questions
Mack Answers Your Dumb Questions: ‘What’s The Biggest Misconception About You?’
You asked, I answered!
Mack Answers Your Dumb Questions: ‘What’s Your Favorite Grilled Cheese Recipe?’
“Grilled cheese” is a relative term.
Mack Answers Your Dumb Questions: ‘Have You Ever Had A Major Premonition?’
Spoiler: He has. And it was epic.
My New Year’s Resolution Is To Shove My Son Back Up In There
I gave birth to him, and I can un-give it.
Our Favorite Articles By The Women Of Bunny Ears
Each author on this list is more talented than all the men here combined.
Stick-And-Poke Tats Are The New Face-Painting At Your Kids’ Parties!
Move over Fudgy the Whale, crude needle poke tattoos are the new big children’s party must-have of the year!
Ways To Cope When You Discover Your S.O. Has A Job, Not A Trust Fund
That’s right—working isn’t just for poor people.
Narcissistic Parenting Is Bad for My Child, But What About Me?
Do you know what it’s like to have your child come home with a report card that says she’s “such a bright student and a joy to be around” but says nothing – nothing – about you?
Valentine’s Day Trips To Make You Realize You Never Loved Each Other
Here are some recommendations for weekend trips that will make this Valentines Day unforgettable. Even if it means you’ll never forget how bad it was.
Macaulay Culkin’s Pointed Guide To New Orleans
New Orleans celebrates Mardi Gras the two weeks before Shrove Tuesday, which is … when?
Macaulay Culkin’s Wellness Island Festival Has Been Regretfully Cancelled
Turns out crabs are no joke!
A Day In The Life Of Macaulay Culkin
I haven’t taken the shirt off in a week, but nobody says anything about my odor!
These Are The Beauty Essentials We Chose When Literally Forced At Gunpoint
“Look out! Macaulay Culkin has a gun!”
Our Favorite Articles
Exclusive: Macaulay Culkin Interviews The Swarm Of Bees From My Girl
(Editors Note: After a considerable amount of negotiation between a phalanx of lawyers, agents, managers, publicists, stylists, socialists and one 76-year-old beekeeper from Arizona, Bunny Ears is proud to share the EXCLUSIVE reunion interview between Macaulay Culkin and the swarm of bees that viciously attacked him in the 90’s hit My Girl. What follows was transcribed, […]
6 Bathrobes Perfect For Doing Coked-Up Naked Karate
Have you ever felt just a little TOO nude while doing naked karate?
The ToeJam & Earl Ultra Funky Super Special Bonus Podcast
ToeJam & Earl is a dope game, and the sequel is out now so go buy it you jerk.
A Psychic Helped Me Unleash My Inner Power, But Keeps Spoiling “WWE RAW” For Me
Everything was so hazy at first… In the distance, I saw myself in a board meeting, and I was CEO, my eyes glowing with pride. Shadows parted way, and I suddenly saw myself on a date with a perfect 10, confident, stylish, leaning in for a first kiss. But the fog returned, and when it […]
Why Won’t John Cena Visit Me in the Hospital?
It’s a phrase I’ve seen a thousand times on armbands, miniature towels, and neon-bright t-shirts throughout the last 15 years. It’s not just a saying, but a way of life; a mantra which one can turn to when their dreams seem so far out of reach. Yet as I lay here on this hospital gurney, […]
All The Non-Mutant Superheroes Trying To Get On That ‘Freaky, Sexy Island’
Krakoa is getting REALLY popular.
‘Daily Bugle’ Editor Demands TikTok Footage Of Spider-Man
He’s reportedly been ranting about it for months.
Galaxys For Hire
Two outlaw sisters go on the run from an army when they learn the ship they’ve called home is the final puzzle piece of an ancient giant robot capable of unmaking reality. A sex-bot army and the secret history of the universe will follow!
Katie Goldin’s Golden Rules
Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They’re weird, they’re funny, and they’re always so pretty! The Goldin Rules always offers something different! You’ll never see the same joke twice!
Ana’s Dollhouse Presents: Art Friends
Welcome to Art Friends. A weekly web-comic brought to you by Ana Bagayan, the creator of viral-hit Ana’s Dollhouse!
It’s better than ‘Family Circus’ but shittier than ‘Marmaduke’ because everything is shittier than ‘Marmaduke.’
TV and Movies
A Guide To Grieving All The Yoshis You’ve Killed
The first stage of grief is harder than the last stage of Forest of Illusion.
How To Politely Decline An Invite To Your Dork Nephew’s ‘Warcraft’ Wedding
He’s marrying an orc or whatever.
I Shot The Dog In ‘Duck Hunt’ And It Really Messed Me Up
Your cousin lied when he said he shot the dog in Duck Hunt. Because if he had, he’d be scarred for life.
The Bad Dudes Are Really Good Dudes, And They’re My Uncles
I don’t know why everybody called my uncles “Bad Dudes,” because they were good dudes. More than good. Probably the best people I’ll ever know.
Stubborn Fan Still Chants ‘ECW!’ At Shows
“Is he just chanting ‘NXT’ wrong?” asks 23-year-old Velveteen Dream.
Quiz: Which ‘80s Sitcom Dad Did Your Mom Most Likely Jerk It To?
Was it Carl Winslow? Or maybe Danny Tanner?