Elijah Taylor is a scrappy orphan who uses humor as a coping mechanism. He is available for publications or events as a freelance writer, fighter, or Muppet.
A Day In The Life Of Macaulay Culkin
I haven’t taken the shirt off in a week, but nobody says anything about my odor!
How Our ‘How It’s Made’ Video Was Made
Hey there, I’m Elijah, the Director of Merchandising here at Bunny Ears. Which is a job I got because my sister lets me screen print shirts in her garage. Mostly, the job consists of screen printing shirts in my sister’s garage. Sometimes Mack makes me eat stuff. One time, he showed up at my sister’s […]
Macaulay Culkin Forced Me To Eat A Doughnut Of His Face: Here’s The Video
The whole damn thing. If anyone can read this, please help. Macaulay Culkin has me trapped in a doughnut eating factory and won’t let me see my family!
The PERFECT Mother’s Day Gifts (For Your Dead Mom)
If you can’t rest in peace, you should rest in style, and we’ve got the best Mother’s Day gift guide to help your dead mom out!
EARN YOUR FUR: How To Kill This Fall’s Hottest Living Creatures
If you’re like us, you crave the bleeding edge of fashion. You want to be unique, to stand out from the crowd- No, to stand above the crowd. You want anyone who glances your way to know immediately that you are better than them. With the advent of social media, trending hashtags, free two-day shipping, […]
Signs You’re In An Unhealthy Relationship (With Chili’s)
Romantic relationships can pose a variety of challenges even at their best. Two unique individuals coming together to form a partnership will always require sacrifice, compromise, and clear communication. In short: Work. Which is why it can sometimes be difficult to recognize the warning signs of an unhealthy, codependent, or even toxic relationship. It’s easy […]
Make Your Torso Famous With These MUST-HAVE T-Shirts
A heartbreaking statistic has recently been brought to our attention: Less than 1% of the population is famous. Here at Bunny Ears, where most of us have been famous for most of our lives, this is difficult to understand. Have you maybe just… tried being famous? Listen, whatever your reasoning, we can assure you, life […]
Fashion Finders: Searching For Style At A Police Auction
Welcome to Fashion Finders! Your go-to source for finding hidden haute couture treasures off the beaten path. Any fashionista worth their salt knows all the hottest retailers in NYC, London, Tokyo, etc. But to be on the bleeding edge of style, you need to be ahead of the crowd. You need to take the road […]
What’s “In” This Month: March 2018
March can be a tough month for fashion, for keeping up with trends, and for maintaining spiritual wellness. It comes in like a lion, and goes out like a lamb. It ushers the end of winter. It’s a time of transition, where you may find yourself struggling to try something new and daring. You may […]
IV Everythang: How I Improved My Life Intravenously
It’s a Monday night. Despite the wicked hangover from Sunday Night Shots, you’ve made it through your classes, and you’re on your way back to Kappa Sig house when your phone starts blowing up. Your brothers need you to pick up a few gallons of orange juice on the way home. You’d forgotten: Mimosa Monday. […]
My Superfood Diet Has Made Me Immeasurably Powerful, And I’m Not Ready For The Responsibility
It started harmlessly enough. I’d gained a bit of winter weight, and I decided to kick my diet up a notch in the hopes of getting my abs back before #beachseason. I decided I’d cut out sugars, cut down on carbs. More leafy greens, more protein, more exercise. It was simple stuff. At first. As […]
5 Tough Video Game Characters That I Could Easily Beat In A Fist Fight
Before the days of autosaves and unskippable tutorials, gamers had it tough. You could dedicate hours after-school to mastering the first few stages of Ninja Gaiden on the NES, only to find that no amount of ninjutsu mastery was a match for a single unpredictable bird. In recent years, industry trends seem to circle back […]
My Friend Bet Me I Couldn’t Survive A Night In The Wilderness
Survival Diary, Day 1: F**k you, Trevor. That’s right. I’m doing it. “You wouldn’t last a day,” you said. “You’ll sober up on the ride home.” Well guess what? There was no ride home. I took that Uber straight to Rocky Mountain National Park. It was a $147 dollars, but that’s fine. I’ll just take […]
Spiritual Wellness: Feeling Lost?
Winter, am I right? Shorter days, full of cold and gray and slush and blah. It’s enough to make even the most spiritually attuned among us feel a little disconnected. Personally, my day job had me coming in early and leaving late enough that I swear I hadn’t seen the sun in a week! Aside […]