…Most Rocks Are Walnuts…
…Horrible Man Drives Wonderful Car…
…Picture Now Worth About 40 Words…
…Trail Mix Sustains Man For Journey To, From Trail Mix Bowl…
…Fun Run Isn’t…
…Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…
…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…
…Best Way To Get Rich: Finding Bag Of Money In Woods…
…Scientists Discover That Human Body Is Disgusting…
…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…
…Fancy Teens Start Garage Orchestra…
…Little Bits Of Paper Left On Starburst Counts As Fiber…
…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…
…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…
…RC Cola Secret Recipe Kept In Open Shoebox In Headquarters Lobby…
…Devastating New Documentary Changes Nothing…
…Blood Drive Cookie Tastes Like Blood…
…Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…
…Prophecies Of Nostradamus’ Page-A-Day Calendar Ends On March 9th…
…According to studies accordions are unsteady…
…Man Who Bought Tampons For Girlfriend Expected More Fawning…
…Netflix Adds Fifth Movie…
…Half The World’s Bees Have Never Seen The Show Seinfeld…
…70 Percent Of Americans Don’t Get Enough Sheep…
…Overweight Hipster Dieting Ironically…
…Hitler Pleads With Time Travelers To Stop Killing Him…
…No One Looks Good In Jeans…
…Kid Rock Now Available In Menthol…
…Woman Totally Okay With Turning 23…
…Dems Vow To See Zach Snyder Cut Of Mueller Report Released To Public…
…6 Year Online Romance Ends In Weird Handshake…
…’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…
…Community Garden Offers Free, Gross Vegetables To Neighborhood…
…60-Year-Old Man Doesn’t Feel A Day Over 58…
…Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…
…Dip Can Be Eaten Without Chips…
…Man Finds Mannequin Far Too Attractive…
…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…
…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…
…Lady In Old House In Neighborhood Not Witch, Just Regular Murderer…
…Ambitious Widower Gets Stages Of Grief Down To Four…
…A New Generation Of Turtles Are Learning Martial Arts…
…Rest Of Maroon 5 Probably Has Names…
…Michelle Obama Spotted Sneaking Vegetables Into Sleeping Kids’ Mouths…
…KFC Secret Recipe Has Been Inside You All Along…
…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …
…Thinking Outside The Box Leads To Unimaginable Sorrow…
…Overweight Hipster Dieting Ironically…
…Below Surface, Small Town Exactly What It Seems…
…Girl Scouts Unveil Four New Flavors Of E-Juice…
…Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…
…Shazaam not a real movie…Google it…
…Man Experiences The Miracle Of Flight With Powerful Bidet Toilet Attachment…
…Mayor Doesn’t Declare Opposite Day…
…California Bans Genetically Modified Farmers…
…Everyone In Hardware Store Clearly Planning A Murder…
…Gap Year Spent Working At The Gap…
…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…
…Tampax Introduces Pink-Colored Products Just For Women…
…Thing Assumed To Be Chocolate-Filled Turns Out To Be Blueberry-Filled…
…It’s Cool To Wear Organs On The Outside Now…
…Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…
…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….