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How To Politely Decline An Invite To Your Dork Nephew’s ‘Warcraft’ Wedding

3 mins ago by

Noticing—and Correcting—Mouth Breathing. You Fucking Mouth Breather.

Theodore Roosevelt, Genghis Khan, Gandhi, the Buddha — all proud nose breathers, pal.

Food & Recipes

Lifestyle

How To Hack Your Urethra

When early ape arose from the shore of our great ocean womb, no longer could we protect our monkey eggs from the harshness of a dry environment. It was then that our vestigial tail bud tissue formed the pulpy genitalia we so cherish today. For snakes, this process involved unused limb flesh being repurposed into […]

Hoodies: Zip-Ups vs. Pull-Overs (A Definitive Guide For Garbage People)

The debate is as old as the internet itself. Who knows, it may be even as old as the sweater itself – we have no way of knowing. And yet still, today, in 2018, the argument rages on: which type of hoodie is superior: the zip-up or the pull-over? You may be asking why, at […]

Vintage Looks So Authentic We Swear You’ll Contract Polio

Vintage looks are not only environmentally sustainable enough to cancel out brunch queen’s Skyler’s HydroFlask collection, but donning retro style will never stop being stylish AF. They symbolize the poise and elegance of a time long gone, when slim silhouettes were both chic and easily maintained by contracting that helpful calorie-burning whooping cough. Here are […]

Why I Won’t Move In With My Boyfriend Until We’re Engaged Or At Least Dating

My friends are often surprised to find out that I won’t move in with a guy until I’ve got a ring or at least an understanding that we are a couple. Sure, it’s a little old fashioned, but it’s what works for me. I’m not some stuffy agony aunt trying to tell you what to […]

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