…Picture Now Worth About 40 Words…
…Michelle Obama Spotted Sneaking Vegetables Into Sleeping Kids’ Mouths…
…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…
…Prophecies Of Nostradamus’ Page-A-Day Calendar Ends On March 9th…
…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…
…Half The World’s Bees Have Never Seen The Show Seinfeld…
…6 Year Online Romance Ends In Weird Handshake…
…Best Way To Get Rich: Finding Bag Of Money In Woods…
…Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…
…Man Experiences The Miracle Of Flight With Powerful Bidet Toilet Attachment…
…Scientists Discover That Human Body Is Disgusting…
…Girl Scouts Unveil Four New Flavors Of E-Juice…
…Overweight Hipster Dieting Ironically…
…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …
…Woman Totally Okay With Turning 23…
…Everyone In Hardware Store Clearly Planning A Murder…
…Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…
…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….
…Shazaam not a real movie…Google it…
…Lady In Old House In Neighborhood Not Witch, Just Regular Murderer…
…Hitler Pleads With Time Travelers To Stop Killing Him…
…Mayor Doesn’t Declare Opposite Day…
…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…
…Trail Mix Sustains Man For Journey To, From Trail Mix Bowl…
…Thinking Outside The Box Leads To Unimaginable Sorrow…
…RC Cola Secret Recipe Kept In Open Shoebox In Headquarters Lobby…
…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…
…No One Looks Good In Jeans…
…Blood Drive Cookie Tastes Like Blood…
…Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…
…Kid Rock Now Available In Menthol…
…’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…
…Fancy Teens Start Garage Orchestra…
…Most Rocks Are Walnuts…
…Dems Vow To See Zach Snyder Cut Of Mueller Report Released To Public…
…Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…
…Rest Of Maroon 5 Probably Has Names…
…Devastating New Documentary Changes Nothing…
…Gap Year Spent Working At The Gap…
…A New Generation Of Turtles Are Learning Martial Arts…
…California Bans Genetically Modified Farmers…
…Tampax Introduces Pink-Colored Products Just For Women…
…Fun Run Isn’t…
…Horrible Man Drives Wonderful Car…
…Man Finds Mannequin Far Too Attractive…
…Little Bits Of Paper Left On Starburst Counts As Fiber…
…Community Garden Offers Free, Gross Vegetables To Neighborhood…
…Overweight Hipster Dieting Ironically…
…70 Percent Of Americans Don’t Get Enough Sheep…
…Man Who Bought Tampons For Girlfriend Expected More Fawning…
…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…
…KFC Secret Recipe Has Been Inside You All Along…
…According to studies accordions are unsteady…
…60-Year-Old Man Doesn’t Feel A Day Over 58…
…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…
…Below Surface, Small Town Exactly What It Seems…
…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…
…Dip Can Be Eaten Without Chips…
…Ambitious Widower Gets Stages Of Grief Down To Four…
…It’s Cool To Wear Organs On The Outside Now…
…Thing Assumed To Be Chocolate-Filled Turns Out To Be Blueberry-Filled…
…Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…
…Netflix Adds Fifth Movie…

