bunny ears | Macaulay Culkin Presents Pop Culture and Lifestyle Satire

…Community Garden Offers Free, Gross Vegetables To Neighborhood…

…Kid Rock Now Available In Menthol…

…A New Generation Of Turtles Are Learning Martial Arts…

…Fun Run Isn’t…

…Girl Scouts Unveil Four New Flavors Of E-Juice…

…Thing Assumed To Be Chocolate-Filled Turns Out To Be Blueberry-Filled…

…Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…

…Half The World’s Bees Have Never Seen The Show Seinfeld…

…Fancy Teens Start Garage Orchestra…

…Overweight Hipster Dieting Ironically…

…Thinking Outside The Box Leads To Unimaginable Sorrow…

…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…

…Dems Vow To See Zach Snyder Cut Of Mueller Report Released To Public…

…No One Looks Good In Jeans…

…Man Who Bought Tampons For Girlfriend Expected More Fawning…

…Ambitious Widower Gets Stages Of Grief Down To Four…

…Netflix Adds Fifth Movie…

…Shazaam not a real movie…Google it…

…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…

…Man Experiences The Miracle Of Flight With Powerful Bidet Toilet Attachment…

…Michelle Obama Spotted Sneaking Vegetables Into Sleeping Kids’ Mouths…

…6 Year Online Romance Ends In Weird Handshake…

…Best Way To Get Rich: Finding Bag Of Money In Woods…

…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…

…RC Cola Secret Recipe Kept In Open Shoebox In Headquarters Lobby…

…Little Bits Of Paper Left On Starburst Counts As Fiber…

…Horrible Man Drives Wonderful Car…

…Overweight Hipster Dieting Ironically…

…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…

…Trail Mix Sustains Man For Journey To, From Trail Mix Bowl…

…KFC Secret Recipe Has Been Inside You All Along…

…Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…

…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….

…’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…

…Below Surface, Small Town Exactly What It Seems…

…Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…

…Everyone In Hardware Store Clearly Planning A Murder…

…Most Rocks Are Walnuts…

…Devastating New Documentary Changes Nothing…

…Picture Now Worth About 40 Words…

…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…

…Prophecies Of Nostradamus’ Page-A-Day Calendar Ends On March 9th…

…Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…

…Woman Totally Okay With Turning 23…

…Gap Year Spent Working At The Gap…

…Mayor Doesn’t Declare Opposite Day…

…Scientists Discover That Human Body Is Disgusting…

…Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…

…Tampax Introduces Pink-Colored Products Just For Women…

…Lady In Old House In Neighborhood Not Witch, Just Regular Murderer…

…Rest Of Maroon 5 Probably Has Names…

…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…

…It’s Cool To Wear Organs On The Outside Now…

…According to studies accordions are unsteady…

…Blood Drive Cookie Tastes Like Blood…

…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…

…60-Year-Old Man Doesn’t Feel A Day Over 58…

…70 Percent Of Americans Don’t Get Enough Sheep…

…California Bans Genetically Modified Farmers…

…Hitler Pleads With Time Travelers To Stop Killing Him…

…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …

…Dip Can Be Eaten Without Chips…

…Man Finds Mannequin Far Too Attractive…

My Minimalist Life

14 mins ago by Danny Gerdude

Please Stop Trying To Cleanse My House of Evil Spirits, They Do The Dishes

It happens every time: I invite a friend over for brunch, a tarot reading, or an intravenous drug party, and they soon notice that my house is clearly haunted. It’s admittedly hard to miss— objects fly around seemingly of their their volition, and there’s that faint, creepy whispering from deep within the walls. I try to […]

by Amanda Mannen

Our Annual Fall Foliage Guide Has Been Discontinued Because Our Intern Got Lost in the Woods and Died

As many of you know, every year, we here at Bunny Ears bring you a detailed guide to all things autumn. Normally, our interactive autumnal map allows you to search B&Bs in the area by size, style, and quaint charm, while our color wheel breaks down every leaf shade permutation possible by region and time […]

by Brian Steele

The Boxed Wine And Whatever Is In The Fridge Crash Diet

Hello again, readers! We here at Bunny Ears love trying out new diets and telling you about the results. Juice cleanses, the five-bite system, raw foods—we’re here for them all. And as much as I’d love to review a new trendy diet for you today, I hit a bit of a snafu up front: The only thing […]

by Rani Baker

Food & Recipes

Make Your Relationship As Good As The One I Have With This BBQ Pulled Pork Macaroni And Cheese

Relationships can be tough, but when you find your perfect other half, you’ll be amazed by how easy things can be. I personally feel so lucky to be in a relationship that’s so intuitive and carefree. I am, of course, talking about my relationship with this barbecue pulled pork macaroni and cheese. It’s a simple […]

by Amanda Mannen

I Ate Soap For A Week So Now I Can Say Whatever The Fuck I Want To

I’m usually a bubbly, effervescent kind of person, but a few months ago I found myself feeling guilty about the way I was acting. I was letting stress get the best of me, and it was most often expressed through absolutely foul language. Real nasty stuff. Some stuff I’m pretty sure I invented. Regardless of […]

How To Make The Perfect Fried Rice—And I Mean Perfect

So you want to learn how to make my perfect fried rice? Of course you do. My perfect fried rice is nirvana incarnate. It’s made grown men weep. Asking someone if they want my fried rice recipe is like asking someone if they want to glimpse the face of God. Who’s going to say no? […]

Lifestyle

African-American Style Staples To Convince White People You Aren’t Going To Rob Them

Here at Bunny Ears, we’re always busy promoting African Americans, as well as African American styles and traditions. And while we love celebrating much of African Americano, we have to admit to a more…unsettling truth: black people make a lot of white people uncomfortable, which, in turn, makes black people feel unsafe. It’s a story […]

by Michael Dawson

A Guide For First-Time Fathers Who Are Also Frankensteins

Parenting is hard—and it’s even harder when you’re a Frankenstein.

How To Stop Calling Your Personal Trainer At 3AM To Yell JUST LET ME BE FAT BRAD

Having a personal trainer is great but who likes working out? Why move your body around like a poor building rocks for money or whatever when you could just wait for a sexy android body to come on the market someday? It’s tough; the urge to call your personal trainer at 3AM to screech JUST […]

Addicted To Your Phone? Try Shooting It Up For An Even Better High

Just mainline that ‘ish.

Podcasts

Episode 15 – Bunnies Like Sex (Annotated)

Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! The Guest: None. The Lowdown: Sex! Matt pitched an entire episode based on Power Rangers, or Ninja Turtles, but Mack had sex on the mind. They don’t know quite where to start on it, though, just that […]

by Craig, the Intern

Episode 9 – Mission To Moscow (Annotated)

Guest: Stewart P. Miller from Columbus, Ohio The Lowdown: Hi, I’m Craig, The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! This week Stew, Mack’s friend and roommate, is on the show. This one is from LA’s very own Bunny Ears Ranch (Matt Cohen’s place). They play a round […]

Bunny Ears Podcast 41: LIST-O-MANIA (Annotated)

Hello Warren; it’s me, Matt Cohen. Yes- THAT Matt Cohen. Wait- not that one… the other one. Hi. This week, Stewart P Miller from Columbus Ohio joined Mack and myself for another edition of “Top 5 list episode podcast thing”. Basically, Mack, Stew and myself came up with 6 categories of “Top 5” lists and […]

Bunny Ears Podcast 40: Camp No Counselors (Annotated)

Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. I wasn’t invited to go to Camp No Counselors with them. Everyone I work with is a jerk! Everything’s going great so far! The Guest: A bunch! Michael Rosenbaum, Dave Kushner, Carl McDowell, Stewart P Miller, Jimmy Scanlon and his pal Duane! The […]

Pop Culture

A Psychic Helped Me Unleash My Inner Power, But Keeps Spoiling “WWE RAW” For Me

Everything was so hazy at first… In the distance, I saw myself in a board meeting, and I was CEO, my eyes glowing with pride. Shadows parted way, and I suddenly saw myself on a date with a perfect 10, confident, stylish, leaning in for a first kiss. But the fog returned, and when it […]

by Ken Hanley

The Pro Wrestling Guide To Florida: America’s Limp Dong

It’s the literally the worst place!

Why Won’t John Cena Visit Me in the Hospital?

It’s a phrase I’ve seen a thousand times on armbands, miniature towels, and neon-bright t-shirts throughout the last 15 years. It’s not just a saying, but a way of life; a mantra which one can turn to when their dreams seem so far out of reach. Yet as I lay here on this hospital gurney, […]