…Picture Now Worth About 40 Words…
…Girl Scouts Unveil Four New Flavors Of E-Juice…
…Kid Rock Now Available In Menthol…
…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…
…Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…
…Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…
…Community Garden Offers Free, Gross Vegetables To Neighborhood…
…Mayor Doesn’t Declare Opposite Day…
…Shazaam not a real movie…Google it…
…Michelle Obama Spotted Sneaking Vegetables Into Sleeping Kids’ Mouths…
…Fancy Teens Start Garage Orchestra…
…It’s Cool To Wear Organs On The Outside Now…
…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…
…KFC Secret Recipe Has Been Inside You All Along…
…Gap Year Spent Working At The Gap…
…Fun Run Isn’t…
…Most Rocks Are Walnuts…
…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….
…Ambitious Widower Gets Stages Of Grief Down To Four…
…Devastating New Documentary Changes Nothing…
…Blood Drive Cookie Tastes Like Blood…
…Thinking Outside The Box Leads To Unimaginable Sorrow…
…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…
…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…
…Lady In Old House In Neighborhood Not Witch, Just Regular Murderer…
…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…
…RC Cola Secret Recipe Kept In Open Shoebox In Headquarters Lobby…
…Trail Mix Sustains Man For Journey To, From Trail Mix Bowl…
…Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…
…Thing Assumed To Be Chocolate-Filled Turns Out To Be Blueberry-Filled…
…Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…
…Man Who Bought Tampons For Girlfriend Expected More Fawning…
…Horrible Man Drives Wonderful Car…
…A New Generation Of Turtles Are Learning Martial Arts…
…According to studies accordions are unsteady…
…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…
…Dems Vow To See Zach Snyder Cut Of Mueller Report Released To Public…
…Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…
…Best Way To Get Rich: Finding Bag Of Money In Woods…
…Tampax Introduces Pink-Colored Products Just For Women…
…Below Surface, Small Town Exactly What It Seems…
…Overweight Hipster Dieting Ironically…
…60-Year-Old Man Doesn’t Feel A Day Over 58…
…Dip Can Be Eaten Without Chips…
…’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…
…Scientists Discover That Human Body Is Disgusting…
…California Bans Genetically Modified Farmers…
…Man Finds Mannequin Far Too Attractive…
…Prophecies Of Nostradamus’ Page-A-Day Calendar Ends On March 9th…
…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…
…Netflix Adds Fifth Movie…
…Overweight Hipster Dieting Ironically…
…No One Looks Good In Jeans…
…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …
…Hitler Pleads With Time Travelers To Stop Killing Him…
…6 Year Online Romance Ends In Weird Handshake…
…Rest Of Maroon 5 Probably Has Names…
…Everyone In Hardware Store Clearly Planning A Murder…
…Half The World’s Bees Have Never Seen The Show Seinfeld…
…Man Experiences The Miracle Of Flight With Powerful Bidet Toilet Attachment…
…Woman Totally Okay With Turning 23…
…70 Percent Of Americans Don’t Get Enough Sheep…
…Little Bits Of Paper Left On Starburst Counts As Fiber…
