Brian Steele is a writer living in Los Angeles. He's written and produced content for companies such as Funny Or Die, FreMantle Media, IFC, MyDamnChannel, Splitsider and TruTV. You can check out his work at HoltandSteele.com.
Get it!
Wow was he a weirdo!
When it comes to personal hygiene, many of us men run into the same problem. How do we keep our penises clean, when they’re such dirty lil’ things?
When someone you care about dies, it’s vital to keep the focus on what really matters: YOU!
Is that so much to ask?
We guarantee love handles by Halloween.
… And You Won’t Believe How Offended They Were!
Bling out that b-hole!
What now?
It might be uncomfortable, but it’s necessary.
It’s a legitimate question.
It’s something every parent wonders.
He’s going to be hunted!
Seriously. You have a problem.
It’s a reasonable question.
Like an Old Fashioned!
It’s a surefire way to survive the day intact.
How good are you at compartmentalizing?
It’s all adding up.
The Burger Kingdom finds itself in dire straits.
Your whole life is a lie, but you deserved that promotion.
It’s about family, faith, and unrelenting blue balls.
What kind of example is he setting?
It can be hard to tell.
It’s time to cover up that unsightly green.
Confidence is key.
You’re not a monster.
You don’t stay this decrepit by doing nothing.
Want to make things weird?
You’re welcome, world.
I usually don’t get political.
It’s cruel and unusual.
It’s been a game-changer.
That’s right. Constantly splooging!
If you see it, please let us know.
We tagged them with GPS trackers, like a bunch of wild animals
Just mainline that ‘ish.
We provide college credit.
I realized I was doing everything exactly right.
You may love your cats equally, but they aren’t all equal when it comes to personal responsibility.
She’s always been there for you. So this year, why not give her the Mother’s Day of her dreams by having her plan the whole thing?
If you’re raising one of these “cage-free children,” you’re a crappy parent. There, we said it.
Will they be able to keep up with all those little creeps, goobers, freak-balls and toenail chewers? I’m just not convinced.
We asked a team of experts.
A few easy tricks to help soften the blow.
