Brian Steele is a writer living in Los Angeles. He's written and produced content for companies such as Funny Or Die, FreMantle Media, IFC, MyDamnChannel, Splitsider and TruTV. You can check out his work at HoltandSteele.com.
Bling out that b-hole!
What now?
It might be uncomfortable, but it’s necessary.
It’s a legitimate question.
It’s something every parent wonders.
He’s going to be hunted!
Seriously. You have a problem.
It’s a reasonable question.
Like an Old Fashioned!
It’s a surefire way to survive the day intact.
How good are you at compartmentalizing?
It’s all adding up.
The Burger Kingdom finds itself in dire straits.
Your whole life is a lie, but you deserved that promotion.
It’s about family, faith, and unrelenting blue balls.
What kind of example is he setting?
It can be hard to tell.
It’s time to cover up that unsightly green.
Confidence is key.
You’re not a monster.
You don’t stay this decrepit by doing nothing.
Want to make things weird?
You’re welcome, world.
I usually don’t get political.
It’s cruel and unusual.
It’s been a game-changer.
That’s right. Constantly splooging!
If you see it, please let us know.
We tagged them with GPS trackers, like a bunch of wild animals
We provide college credit.
I realized I was doing everything exactly right.
You may love your cats equally, but they aren’t all equal when it comes to personal responsibility.
She’s always been there for you. So this year, why not give her the Mother’s Day of her dreams by having her plan the whole thing?
If you’re raising one of these “cage-free children,” you’re a crappy parent. There, we said it.
Will they be able to keep up with all those little creeps, goobers, freak-balls and toenail chewers? I’m just not convinced.
We asked a team of experts.
A few easy tricks to help soften the blow.
It’s that time of year again!
Every dad has a pants pickle ready to tickle, but we don’t always put it out there in the best light. Well that ends now.
Or do you hate your children too much help them succeed?
Is it possible I jumped the gun?
Are our kids spending too much time plopped in front of their families, growing lazy from all that unconditional love? Heck yes!
This needs to stop. My mother’s threatening to leave.
What the real danger is here? A virus I specifically designed to kill 90% of the population, or the untested vaccine for it? I think you know my answer.
Finally!
