Brian Steele is a writer living in Los Angeles. He's written and produced content for companies such as Funny Or Die, FreMantle Media, IFC, MyDamnChannel, Splitsider and TruTV. You can check out his work at HoltandSteele.com.
Wilford Brimley Shares His Secret To Staying So Old
You don’t stay this decrepit by doing nothing.
Sex Tips To Make Your Boyfriend Go, ‘Gross, Why Do You Want That?’
Want to make things weird?
America Has Become A Banana Republic, In That The Khakis They Sell Don’t Fit Me
I usually don’t get political.
Macaulay Culkin Demands We Rethink Mandatory Sentencing For Hamburglars
It’s cruel and unusual.
How Getting My Head Stuck In This Jumbo Jar Of Pickles Taught Me To Relax
It’s been a game-changer.
Is The Bunny Ears Pop-Up Coming To Your City? Because We’ve Lost It
If you see it, please let us know.
The Small Wonder Cast: Where They Are Literally Right Now
We tagged them with GPS trackers, like a bunch of wild animals
Addicted To Your Phone? Try Shooting It Up For An Even Better High
Just mainline that ‘ish.
Are You A Dog Or A Cat Person? Because My Army Of Hybrid Freaks Is Hiring
We provide college credit.
My Near Death Experience Taught Me I Love Work More Than My Family
I realized I was doing everything exactly right.
How to Decide Which Cat Is Inheriting Your Fortune
You may love your cats equally, but they aren’t all equal when it comes to personal responsibility.
This Mother’s Day Give Your Mom The Gift Of Planning Mother’s Day
She’s always been there for you. So this year, why not give her the Mother’s Day of her dreams by having her plan the whole thing?
The Best Abrasive Sponges for Detoxing Your Filthy Penis
When it comes to personal hygiene, many of us men run into the same problem. How do we keep our penises clean, when they’re such dirty lil’ things?
Cage-Free Children: Right For You?
If you’re raising one of these “cage-free children,” you’re a crappy parent. There, we said it.
I’m Worried My Kids Aren’t Weird Enough For Homeschooling
Will they be able to keep up with all those little creeps, goobers, freak-balls and toenail chewers? I’m just not convinced.
My Girlfriend Says She Loves Me But She Won’t Kill My Rich Parents
Is that so much to ask?
How Many Hours A Day Should You Be Resting Your Bitch Face?
We asked a team of experts.
How To Tell Your Servants You’ll Be Sharing A Grave
A few easy tricks to help soften the blow.
How To Get That Body Snatchable For Body-Snatching Season
It’s that time of year again!
How To Accentuate Your Resting Dad Dick
Every dad has a pants pickle ready to tickle, but we don’t always put it out there in the best light. Well that ends now.
Apply Early! These Preschools Are So Exclusive They Don’t Allow Children
Or do you hate your children too much help them succeed?
I’m Beginning To Worry Our Nanny Isn’t Really My Ex-Husband In Disguise
Is it possible I jumped the gun?
Why We Limit Our Children To One Hour Of Good Parenting A Day
Are our kids spending too much time plopped in front of their families, growing lazy from all that unconditional love? Heck yes!
Stop Testing Makeup On Animals, Because They Keep Seducing My Father
This needs to stop. My mother’s threatening to leave.
Why We Don’t Vaccinate Our Children From My Homemade Plague
What the real danger is here? A virus I specifically designed to kill 90% of the population, or the untested vaccine for it? I think you know my answer.
What Bunny Ears Writers Are Wishing For This Valentine’s Day
We asked our very own Bunny Ears team what they’ve always wanted from their Valentine. Pay attention! Chances are your special someone will want one of these romantic gifts too.
Sex Tips Your Husband Wanted Us To Pass Along … If That’s Cool
Full disclosure, your husband emailed to us because your sex life sounds like a mess.
Celebrate The Joys Of Adoption By Raising My Stupid Kids
Seriously just fucking take them.
Luxurious Ski Resorts You Couldn’t Get Into, So Actually Nevermind
You probably wouldn’t even know what to do if you did get into one anyway.
How Many Times a Day Should You Poop? This Creepy Guy Has The Answer
Wow was he a weirdo!
We Asked Celebrities For Their Embarrassing Sex Stories…
… And You Won’t Believe How Offended They Were!
5 Questions About Spaghetti You Should Never Ask on a Job Interview
The question job applicants dread.
Simple Tricks To Make Their Funeral All About You
When someone you care about dies, it’s vital to keep the focus on what really matters: YOU!
Maybe It’s The Meth Talking, But These Detox Tips Make Me Feel Like A God
Fuck! Are you feeling this?
Help! My New Boyfriend Is An Incel Who Made Me Up On A Subreddit
And not even one of the good subs
I Went to The General To Save Some Time, Why Didn’t He Save My Dad in ‘nam?
He was known as The Captain back then.
We Asked A Personal Trainer For Workout Tips And Now We’re Fucking
We really meant to get into this whole workout thing, but then we just got carried away with the fucking. You get it, right?
Are You In An Escape Room Or Just Being Kidnapped By Your Tinder Date?
Which one is worse though?
5 Books You Totally Know How To Read This Fall
Nothing beats curling up with a good book, flipping through its pages, holding it right side up, and, of course, telling people you’re reading it so they think you’re smart.