Are You Being Catfished Or Is Judd Nelson That Hard Up For Phone Sex?

October 13, 2019 by , featured in Relationships
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The term “catfish” has officially become part of the cultural lexicon. It’s a sad fact that most of us just can’t trust the romantic connections we make online. So, obviously, it’s never been more important to do your due diligence before having phone sex with Judd Nelson. 

Yes, the strange voice on the other end of the line may sound like the star of The Breakfast Club. Yes, this unexpected caller may be desperate to have you get him off. It happens. But in a world of fake accounts and online obfuscation, there’s always the slim possibility it’s not really him.

Now, of course it’s only natural to wonder why the celebrated star of New Jack City is cold calling people and asking them to talk dirty. The one-time big boss on Suddenly Susan could presumably have any woman he wants. A sex symbol since the early ’80s, he most likely has sexual partners lined up for weeks in advance.

But the real question to ask when you have the former Brat Packer on the line isn’t why he’s calling, but if it’s even him at all. Imagine how foolish you’ll feel if you get off some random heavy breather and then find out that they never even starred in St. Elmo’s Fire.

Again, we know it might be hard, but we can’t stress this enough: Don’t worry about why Bigfoot Wars’ Dr. Leonard Evans is calling strangers’ landlines at three in the afternoon on a weekday, blurting out who he is and then begging to have someone call him a little diaper boy. Outside of Mr. Nelson’s psychiatrist and priest, no one will ever know. What’s clear is that he needs this more than you need to worry about the details.

So, the next time Mr. Nelson calls, ask him a few questions only he would be able to answer. What does Ice-T smell like? How did he convey the transformative power of the Autobot Matrix of Leadership while portraying Rodimus Prime? He won’t like it, as he’ll want to get into what a dangerous little diaper boy he is from the get go, but getting catfished can have lasting consequences. You shouldn’t take any chances, no matter how much you’d like to get an aging ’80s heartthrob off via your phone.

Images: Spiderwood Studio, Pixabay Universal Studios


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