Is He Into You Or Is He Just A Terminator Trying To Steal Your Clothes?
If you’ve ever dated someone who’s emotionally unavailable, you know how hard it can be to really connect. Thankfully, not every elusive lover is emotionally detached. Some are just naked killing machines looking to steal your clothes so they can hunt down Sarah Connor, terminating her before her child can grow up to lead a human resistance against the machines. It may not solve all your problems, but finding out your new boo is a deadly robot from the future and not just another one night stand can be a real relief. Here are a few ways to tell if your new crush likes you or just likes the outfit you’re wearing so it can hunt down the one human capable of stopping Skynet.
1. He Was Naked When You Met
Physical attraction is incredibly important when starting something new, but just because this guy is a snack doesn’t mean you should overlook the warning signs. For instance, was he completely nude when you met, appearing out of nowhere in a ball of blue electricity? That may seem hot at the moment, but it’s a red flag if you’re looking for anything more than a fling.
2. He Steals the Clothes You’re Wearing
Now, there are any number of reasons a lover might want to try on your clothes, from a secret kink to just getting cozy. But if this nude hunk takes your outfit and then hightails it out of there, it might be because he’s on a one-way mission through time to end the bloodline of humanity’s last hope.
3. He Murders a Lot of People in Front of You
This is what we call a “silver lining.” We all worry that it’s our fault when things don’t work out, so it may actually come as a relief when he starts brutally murdering every single person he comes across. Don’t beat yourself up if dozens are dead. At least you didn’t ruin another relationship.
4. He Ask if You’re Sarah Conner
Before you get jealous of this Sarah chick, remember that the average Terminator isn’t looking to get lucky. So if he starts talking about some other girl, chances are he’s just trying to kill her and not looking for his Bumble date. Here’s a hint though: No matter what your name is, don’t say yes when he asks.
5. He Promises He’ll Be Back, Like You Haven’t Heard That a Thousand Times
Here we go again. But before you start crying (something he is potentially incapable of) remember to hold on to some hope. Yes, he could be ditching out on your date, or whatever you call it when a naked man walks up to you and demands you strip off your clothes, but he could also be a homicidal automaton. Either way, you should definitely consider sleeping with him.