I Owe My Newfound Confidence To Therapy And Stilts (Mostly Stilts)
The safe space of a therapist’s office was the perfect place to rebuild my confidence after a few rough years. The 5-ft. stilts that let me tower over friends and coworkers like I’m Godzilla and they’re hapless downtown office buildings also helped a little.
A New Perspective
I didn’t think I needed therapy. I also didn’t think I needed sturdy poles strapped to my feet that made me at least 4 feet taller than even the tallest N.B.A. star. But one day, sitting in my therapist’s office with my stilted legs splayed before me, I realized I’d been feeling pretty good about myself lately. My therapist ducked quickly as I uncrossed my legs and then asked if I was doing anything different lately. I said no, other than the stilts, and he said, “I was being sarcastic.” We had a great laugh. I mean, I did.
My therapist created such an open and judgment-free environment that I felt I could finally work through the insecurities that had been holding me back from being my best self. But the therapy stilts, though — wow! Literally, looking down on people all day fills you this natural sense of superiority that’s both delightful and delicious.
I started small with a 5-in. shoe lift to get a taste of the rarefied air. Just five little inches higher, and I was already feeling like the king of the world. My therapist suggested I come in twice a week instead of once so we could more intensively work on what he called a “rapidly inflating sense of self-importance,” but I bought a set of 5-ft. stilts from an online circus supplier instead. People were suddenly more inclined to do what I said. If I asked for a coffee, they gave me a coffee. If I asked for their wallet, Social Security number, and mother’s maiden name, they gave me all that, too.
I told my therapist I’ve been making great strides, thanks to him and my therapy stilts. He told me that wasn’t a funny joke, but he was wrong. I laughed so hard I had tears rolling down my cheeks. My therapist had tears rolling down his face, too, but he wasn’t laughing. A professional through and through, that one.
Katie Goldin’s Golden Rules
Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They're weird, they're funny, and they're always so pretty! The Goldin Rules…