Love Yourself So Much It’s Inappropriate In Public
You deserve love, but more than that you deserve to love yourself. The best way to show you love yourself is by making it weird for everyone else! You don’t have to be in a relationship, you ARE that relationship all on your own. Love yourself like you recently met yourself, have been dating successfully for a month and have been banging yourself nonstop. Here are a few fun ways to love yourself so much it’ll be inappropriate in public.
You don’t need someone to call you babe! You ARE your own babe! Get creative with the nicknames! Call yourself sweet lips, candy, sugar tits, and ESPECIALLY the names you would never say out loud. Why? Because when you really love someone you have no shame. When you talk to your friends at a party, don’t just refer to yourself in the third person, refer to yourself with your sexy little nickname. “Yeah, sexy buns IS excited to hop on the subway with you, Jane!” Once people get over the shock of your self-appointed baby name, they’ll begrudgingly accept it like they do with couples that use baby names in public.
Love Your Own Social Media Posts
Take a great selfie and give yourself the love you deserve for it! Reply to your own pictures with cute loving messages! Fill your Instagram comments with “Oh my god, babe you are so sexy!” or “Damn, I’d hit that ;-P” and don’t be afraid to respond to yourself with “Oh my god, you are embarrassing me P.S. I love you so much, babe.” You can’t just feel good about yourself in the privacy of your own home otherwise it’s not real. You need to show EVERYONE how much you are feeling yourself by littering your comments with hearts and threats of “How good you’re gonna get it when you get home.” People will see it and know that you just can’t get enough.
Get A Handful Of Yourself
Love your body like you can’t keep your hands off it by refusing to keep your hands off it. When you are at work, sneakily, but obviously grab your own ass! When you are at a party grope your own boob mid-conversation. Sure, you can playfully smack your own hand away and apologize to the person you are talking to. However, you and the person you are chatting with know that squirrely little hand is gonna come back for more. You can’t help it! That body is so fine and you can’t get enough! Is it weird for others to watch? Sure, but you can’t stop true love with yourself and neither can the world.
Sneak off to the bathroom with yourself at a party! Or just get so so dirty on the dance floor with yourself that someone will yell “Get a room… For one!” Sure, your friends might beg you to please stop but don’t let get between you and you. Know that you’ve finally reached true self-love. Show it to the world proudly like people in couples do. They aren’t just overcompensating, right? So neither are you.
Katie Goldin’s Golden Rules
Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They're weird, they're funny, and they're always so pretty! The Goldin Rules…