How To Best Oppress Your Workers In The Era of Climate Change
Wondering how to oppress your workers responsibily in the era of climate change? We are too!
Mirror Mirror: The Only Advice Column From Vince McMahon’s Mirror
Real advice from a real man’s mirror.
Valentine’s Day Trips To Make You Realize You Never Loved Each Other
Here are some recommendations for weekend trips that will make this Valentines Day unforgettable. Even if it means you’ll never forget how bad it was.
Self Care 101: Meditate To The Idea Of The Gang From ‘Entourage’
The bros got Vince through eight seasons and one movie.
Easy Diet Changes To Make You Healthier, Happier, and Afraid To Eat
It’s not hard to make these small changes in your life, it just takes a little planning and a TON of constant anxiety.
The Modern Loneliness Epidemic That’s Affecting You And Only You
No one else feels lonely. Ever. It’s just you, the person reading this piece right now.
5 Books You Totally Know How To Read This Fall
Nothing beats curling up with a good book, flipping through its pages, holding it right side up, and, of course, telling people you’re reading it so they think you’re smart.
Check Out These Cleaning Tricks Your Maid Should Really Know How To Do Already
Admit it—nothing stresses you out like keeping a tidy home. From family to friends, working out to wealth management, it’s hard to find the time to keep everything spick and span. Thankfully, we’ve got a few tips that’ll make cleaning a breeze, as long as your maid is paying attention when you explain them to […]
Charged Crystal Pipes For Clearing Your Mind With That 420 Dank Chronic
Healing crystals are the perfect synthesis of science and metaphysics. It’s only natural to want to add that to your extant self-care routine of getting blitzed on giggle greens all day. Fortunately for you, crystal pipes fuse the natural vibrational energy of quartz with the swift rush of that dank herb. Choosing Your Crystal Pipe […]
Forget Rejuvenation! Get Gordon Ramsay To Yell Angry Encouragement At Your Vagina
Vaginal rejuvenation surgery is very popular among rich, straight, cis female readers, but is it really necessary? After all, most of those readers don’t realize their husband definitely fucked a couch in middle school. Your vagina is perfectly fine the way it is—men will have sex with it and literally anything else on the planet. […]
How to Break The Mindset That You Can Do Anything You Set Your Mind To
A wise man I called “Dad,” though that may or may not have been his name, once sat me on his knee and said “Son, you ain’t shit.” What followed were two hours of the most important, and unprompted, verbal abuse I’ve ever received. Too many people nowadays think that they can “do anything as long […]
What Your Period Is Trying To Tell You About Your Friend Doug’s Shitty Life Choices
According to several other male doctors whom I trust implicitly, women’s periods can tell us all a great deal about parts of our lives we might not have expected to be so closely tied to menstruation. For example, your friend Doug has made several terrible life choices, so I sat down over a cup of […]
The Perfect 10 Days In Chile’s San José Copper–Gold Mine
While known for its volcanic mountaintops, the true treasure of Chile lies not in the peaks – but rather a secret far below. It’s no wonder that some say the country acquired its name from the Quechua word for “the deepest point of the Earth”. Earlier this summer myself and four close friends took a […]
Sniff Out The Best Preschool For Your Toddler Using Bomb Dogs
Let’s face facts: Preschool is the most important time in a child’s life. High school is the most important time in a teenagers’s life, and college is the most important time in a young adult’s life. Parenthood is the most important time in an adult’s life and you’ve already succeeded in squirting one out. But what […]
A Beginner’s Guide To Indoor Plants
Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide to [Blank], our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. Life is full of exciting opportunities, and while it’s fine to tackle a new adventure on your own, we here at Bunny Ears know that it’s better […]
How to Start Your Rosé Popsicle Stand in 3 Easy Steps, As Long As One of Them Is Being Incredibly Rich
We all feel those summer blues, when the sun is hot, the beach is crowded with commoners, and the long afternoons seem to stretch on with nothing to fill our ample free time. That’s why summer is the perfect time to dive headfirst into a new hobby or interest like it’s going to be the […]
How To Have Sex On A Beach (And Other Places That Seemed Fun As A Virgin)
Lifestyle blogs and magazines offer an endless supply of sex tips, whether or not the staff has actually tried any of them. But we’ve tried everything here in the Bunny Ears office. You should see our mangled genitals. They’re a slop-fest. Totally unrecognizable. That’s why, when I was asked to come up with even more […]
Guaranteed Ways To Make Your Social Circle Look More Ethnically Diverse
Black is in and fashionable, in more ways than you know. If you know anything, you’ll know that one of the hottest ways to spice up your social life is making it ethnically diverse. But, alas, what’s a small-town Lily white milquetoast like you to do when you don’t have any minorities for friends? Fear […]
How to Find a Yoga Teacher Who Isn’t Dating Your Ex
One important aspect of starting a yoga practice is finding a teacher who hasn’t doggied downward with your ex. This can be surprisingly difficult. But never fear, a good yoga practice can be done anywhere (for instance, on your ex’s dick). You want to have a good connection with your yoga teacher. And not a […]
Turn Your Art Film Life Into A Hollywood Blockbuster!
Creative types, listen up: It might be nice doing what your heart desires, but you’ll never make any money that way. Do you really think you’re going to be able to find success with your emotional, patient lifestyle when there are so many other lifestyles willing to please everyone else in your life? It’s about […]
I Made My Husband Out Of Paper Mache And My Love Life’s Never Been Better!
A good man has a tough exterior and a heart of gold. A great man has a body sculpted out of chicken wire and covered in old paste-soaked newspapers. That’s right, folks, I’m talkin’ paper mache. I met my first husband, Clarke while studying abroad in Paris. Clarke was striking, tall, dark, and handsome. He […]
Follow Up To Our Summer Boots Article: The Best Foot Fungus Treatments
First of all, we here at Bunny Ears would like to say we are SO SORRY for our article about chic summer boots. The men in our office keep the thermostat at a reasonable 40 degrees, so we were unaware of the harm our article about sexy summer boots seems to have caused. Also, we […]
Stretch & Stress: How To Bite Your Toenails With Ease
Anxious about yoga? Me too. Luckily, I figured out a way to combine my best habit with my worst one! Here are some toenail biting stretches you need in your life: The Tentative Dreamer: The Nasty Gazelle: The Aspirational Mouth: Love’s Tender Kiss:
How To Be Your Most Authentic Self: From Someone Who Definitely Knows (A 22-Year Old Influencer)
As a woman, yoga influencer, and a Leo (rising), I have collected a very specific and finite bundle of opinions I feel the world needs to hear. I live on Instagram, which I am sure you’ve gathered from my highly curated daily yoga posts that make you wonder “Who actually takes all these photos?” and […]
Contour Your Cat’s Nipples So They’re Less Disgusting
Regardless of their sex, your cat can have anywhere from 4 to 10 nipples, because God hates cat owners and wants to punish us. They’re horrifying, and they love showing them off like common whores. I’ve been to every vet in Los Angeles County and they all refused to remove my cat’s unsightly nipples, so […]
Get Fit By Being Constantly On the Run From Your Future Self
For some people, health scares, tragedies, or life-changing experiences are the last straw before we take the initiative to better our personal health. However, the rest of us all know that the key to living healthier than ever is paved with the fear of assassination from your evil future self. Whether they’re trying to take […]
Bungee Cord Bikinis Anyone Can Wear, Whether You’re An Instagram Model Or A Nissan Cube
To end stressful and frustrating swimsuit shopping this year, we have narrowed down your options to the most stylish swimsuit on the market, the bungee cord bikini. From curvier frames to athletic body types, we’re helping to make sense of your endless swimwear options and will help pick the best ones to flatter your frame. It doesn’t matter if […]
A Few Ways To Break-Up With Someone Who Won’t Take No For An Answer
They say breaking up is hard to do, but it’s immensely harder if your significant other won’t allow it. You say “We’re over,” they say “Sushi for dinner?” You say, “Sure, I’m starved,” and round and round you go. But don’t lose hope. You don’t have to stay stuck in this relationship until death do […]
Heeeeeeyyyyy, Gurrrlll!! Wanna Be A #BossBabe Like Me?
Heyyyyy Gurrrllll !!! <3 <3 😀 😀 I know we haven’t talked in a hot minute (since like high school, right? CRAZY!). Anyway, how are you? I’m just #bossbabe-ing it up! Do you have a second? I want to tell you about my #personal #journey. Well you know after high school I got my marketing […]
Philosophical Reasons You HAVE To Bleach Your Asshole
Some dilemmas in life can only be answered by analyzing the words of the great thinkers of humanity. People often turn to religion when pondering the big questions, but as a practical person who finds value in tangible thought structures rather than spiritual reconnaissance, I’m much more likely to turn to philosophy to answer the […]
How To Look Pregnant Enough To Do Literally Whatever You Want
While I’m at home, enjoying my maternity leave, I’m reflecting on all of the great looks I’ve worn throughout my pregnancy. Let me tell you, maternity fashion isn’t as easy as it may seem. But, take my advice, and you too can look like the most adorable mom-to-be out there. I say, be proud of […]
Life Tip: Do One Thing Every Day That Scares Character Actor Ray Wise
The term “comfort zone” may sound like a positive thing, but our lives can quickly stagnate when we don’t expand our own personal comfort zones on a regular basis. Fortunately, fear, as uncomfortable as it can be, is one of the world’s great motivators. Which is why for the sake of our ongoing personal development, […]
Productivity Tip: Perfect Is The Enemy Of Good, As Is Gozan The Annihilator!
By Gozan The Annihilator Whether you’re engaging in a creative endeavor, a self-improvement goal, or your nine-to-five job, you’ve likely grown up being told to do your very best. And rightly so. However, many people take this advice to the extreme, only to find their productivity paralyzed by the daunting task of getting things “just […]
How to Disguise Your Alcoholism As a Cute Personal Quirk
So your dependence on alcohol is getting out of hand, and people are starting to get worried. It started small, with a nightly six-pack of locally brewed small-batch IPA or an ironic box of wine, but now you’d lick a hobo just to inhale the fumes of Wild Turkey emanating from his pores. That’s troubling […]
Arts and Crafts Therapy: Embroidery for Depression
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] Therapy can be wonderful, and medication is the answer for some. But doesn’t your depression demand that you have a counterpoint for everyone who suggests more fruit and yoga is the answer? Indifferent shrug? I’ll take that as a yes! Introducing Therapy Arts and Crafts: Embroidery for Depression. It won’t cure you, but it […]
Does He Like You Or Does He Just Need Your Soul For A Spell?
We’ve all been there. The guy you’re crushin’ on is giving you totally mixed signals. Sometimes you feel like you’re definitely sensing a connection, and other times you’re convinced it’s all in your head. It’s the age-old question: Does he like you, or does he just need your soul to summon Khaos, the ancient Demon […]
Get Last Night’s Perfect Date Out of Your Home
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]So you went on the perfect date. You saw a movie that passed the Bechdel Test. There were no awkward moments involving paying. He expressed the appropriate amount of horror at current events (a lot), took you to a secret bar you’ve never been to before, and you got to enter through what you THOUGHT […]
Thanks To Free Range Parenting, I Haven’t Seen My Kid In Weeks!
My daughter, Willow, has always been a free spirit. She loves to explore and solve problems on her own. I know every mother thinks their child is brilliant, but when she broke the time record at her Montessori school’s escape room, I knew I had a child who could handle herself. I first heard about […]