Guaranteed Ways To Make Your Social Circle Look More Ethnically Diverse
Black is in and fashionable, in more ways than you know. If you know anything, you’ll know that one of the hottest ways to spice up your social life is making it ethnically diverse. But, alas, what’s a small-town Lily white milquetoast like you to do when you don’t have any minorities for friends? Fear not! For we’re here to help you make your social circle much more colorful with these easy steps.
Note that this guide requires a minimal amount of interaction with actual minorities. If that’s not within your capabilities, then you might have to look for an alternative.
1. Take Photographs With Random Minorities
For sure! Minorities love photos! Don’t be afraid to just walk up to a few of them and totally ask for a selfie! You don’t even have to pay them or anything. The best minority selfies are those that feature the person of color in question in a positive light. Try to get them to smile. Minorities love jokes! Get a few of these too, at least 12 or so. They’re going to make for a nice little diverse rainbow on your Facebook page. Don’t be afraid if you’ve got a few leftovers, as we’ll cover that step later on.
Now, when posting photos of your newly acquired friends of color, be very careful about the rate at which you post them. Post too many all at once, and your smarter, less diverse, friends will quickly catch on to your schemes. It is far more effective to space them out evenly. One a week should do.
2. Minority Shout-Out Whenever Possible
Another thing to know about minorities is that they absolutely LOVE references! (Seriously!) The more shout-outs you do the better. Now, these can’t just be any regular references, as they should mention POC culture in at least some abstract way. There are two ways to go about this. The first is the tried and true method of being direct, as demonstrated in the tweet below.
Short, simple, and to the point! Not only will this enhance your understanding of minorities, it will also impress your friends with your knowledge of black celebrities. If you really want to test your friends, try the second method, which is a bit less obvious.
This one isn’t immediate obvious, but we’ll explain. Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin in 1793, which laid down the backbone for the cotton-slavery industry in the Antebellum South. Chattel slavery had long-lasting effects on the African American diaspora for centuries to come. 4 Your Eyez Only dropped in 2016 to critical praise for its take on injustices towards the African American community. It’s all a wink-wink-nudge-nudge way of saying “yeah, that new J.Cole track was dope.” You’re woke, brother.
3. Big POC House Party
Minorities love parties! Round a few of ’em up off the streets – you’ll want a sizeable group, pay them if you have to – and talk about it on Facebook, so that your friends know which skin color you’re representing. Make sure there’s plenty of food from every culture represented – America is a melting pot.
4. Move To Africa.
It’s time to put up or shut up. Pack lightly, get your dashiki and tribal customs, and get on the next plane to the Motherland. Tell no one. Bring unmarked bills. Change your name. You are now a new person. You fight for the cause, you die for the cause.
This is an excellent guide for making appearances mirror my regular virtue-signaling social media posts. However, it does seem to require a great deal of actually interacting with minorities, which is not part of my daily ritual. Is there a more expedient way of acquiring photographs of me appearing to socialize with Black, Hispanic or Asian “friends” without having to actually do it? I was thinking of “borrowing” photos from strangers on social media or buying them from Getty Images and then using a cheap photoshopping app to place me in these photos. Thoughts..? Suggestions? TY..!
I can’t tell if this is a joke.
Cats are Furrsons of Colour. Sometimes many colours!
Leave a comment