Michael Dawson can be found perusing the comedy bargain bin at odd hours of the day or spending his time juggling work and his neverending Steam backlog. He fancies himself a bit of a writer, like J.K Rowling but without the money and fame, and enjoys dissecting the ever-present cadaver of gender and race relations in his native country.
Warning: Don’t Get A Conniving House Llama Named Geoffrey Like I Did
His name was Geoffrey. He was neither cute nor trendy, but a Lovecraftian manifestation of everything wrong and evil. “Get a house llama!” they said. “It’ll be fun!” they said. Little did they know he would slowly but surely attempt to rob me of everything I hold dear—even my very life. So don’t get a […]
Guaranteed Ways To Make Your Social Circle Look More Ethnically Diverse
Black is in and fashionable, in more ways than you know. If you know anything, you’ll know that one of the hottest ways to spice up your social life is making it ethnically diverse. But, alas, what’s a small-town Lily white milquetoast like you to do when you don’t have any minorities for friends? Fear […]
How To Spice Up Your Sex Life With At-Home Industrial Grade Cleaning Supplies
Are you tired of your average, mundane, everyday sex life? Do you long for the spice, the thrill, and the sheer intensity of something beyond vanilla? Well, have we got the bombastic solution for you! Any average Joe or Jane can supercharge their bedroom romps with just a few common household supplies. Tide Pods Eating […]
Connect To The Divine Essence By Masturbating In Front Of Your Pets More
They’re judging you, Sarah.
Avoid Fashion Faux Pas When Digging Through Your Neighbor’s Trash
Have you ever eyed a particularly attractive garbage can and wanted ever so desperately to rummage through its bewitching contents, but just didn’t have on the right scarf? Have you ever felt shame when sifting through your neighbor’s trash can because you wore socks with sandals that day? This is the article for you. Here […]
The Perfect Hookup Bag for your One Night Stand with the Easter Bunny
Against all odds, you’ve managed to seduce the Easter bunny. Maybe you’re just misunderstood or really into costumes, but either way you’re going to need some tips on how to prepare for your magical night. Here are the four essential things you absolutely need in your Easter hookup survival kit. 1. Industrial grade sewing kit […]
Reaching Spiritual Enlightenment Via Taco Bell’s Taco 12-Pack.
Very few mortals have unlocked the true potential of Taco Bell’s taco 12-pack. I can’t blame them for not taking the plunge. But I say ‘Live Mas’
Noticing—and Correcting—Mouth Breathing. You Fucking Mouth Breather.
Theodore Roosevelt, Genghis Khan, Gandhi, the Buddha — all proud nose breathers, pal.
Which Artisan-Crafted DUI is Right For You?
Anyone can get caught speeding with a few Fentanyl IPA patches on their arm and a desire for danger.
How To Not Look Too Rich While Traveling In A Foreign Country
So you’re interested in traveling in a foreign country —specifically a developing nation—but you’re afraid your MacBook and designer jeans might make you stand out just a tad too much? Have no fear, for we know exactly what to do to temporarily poor-ify your digs and make you blend in like a precious upper-middle-class baby […]
What I Learned Locking Myself Into A KFC Overnight In Protest
We must hold KFC accountable for their crimes against nature and their unlawful abuse against innocent chickens. As part protest part art demonstration, I decided to lock myself inside of a vacant KFC overnight and do some savvy sleuthing to get to the bottom of this Kentucky fried nightmare. 4. “11 Herbs and Spices” is […]
BBQ Recipes So Good You’ll Go ”I’m so sorry about slavery.”
Finger licking good. Also, really really sorry about slavery.
The Perfect Sex Positions Based On Your Socio-Economic Level
What do sex and socio-economics have in common? A lot more than you think, my fine mammalian friend. See it turns out (as proven by many VERY very good academic studies! Just trust me!) that human beings bang best when fulfilling their own economic role in the bedroom. Fear not though, for we’ve curated a […]
Adorable Teddy Bears To Pimp Out Your Man Cave
These cute and cuddly teddy bears are a great way to accentuate your manly space.
Teaching Your Kids That Goofy Loves To Fuck
It’s a conversation every parent should have with their child.
Check Out Our Winter Jumpers With Absolutely No Implications Of Blackface
Could you imagine if someone actually made a blackface jumper and sold it?
Holiday Messages To Let Your Black Friend Know You Don’t See Color
“Boy, do I miss Obama! Merry X-Mas!”
A Guide To Communing With Your Spirit Animal Through Our 84-inch 4K TV
Seeking a spirit animal can be hard, so we recommend this LG Electronics 84-Inch Cinema 3D 4K Ultra HD 120hz Smart TV with six pairs of 3D glasses purchased through our amazon affiliate link!
How I Got SNAP/EBT To Help Fund My First Affordable Yacht Rental
With a little of that sweet, sweet Uncle Sam start-up money and some human ingenuity, you, too, can rent a luxury water vehicle.
Meditative Things White People Can Do While Black People Attempt To Explain White Privilege
There are many ways to handle being called out by black people, so here are our favorites!
Tips For Growing An Organic, GMO-Free Garden In Your Family’s Pet Cemetery
What better way to pay respect to the pets you miss than to plant a produce garden in their name, right on top of their graves?
African-American Style Staples To Convince White People You Aren’t Going To Rob Them
Here at Bunny Ears, we’re always busy promoting African Americans, as well as African American styles and traditions. And while we love celebrating much of African Americano, we have to admit to a more…unsettling truth: black people make a lot of white people uncomfortable, which, in turn, makes black people feel unsafe. It’s a story […]