Check Out Our Winter Jumpers With Absolutely No Implications Of Blackface

February 8, 2019 by , featured in Lifestyle
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Whether it be doling out world-class fashion tips or the very best guides on sex, we at Bunny Ears are always striving to please you, the reader. That’s why it is with great pleasure that we announce our new line of official Bunny Ears jumpers. Not only will you look dashingly handsome wearing our jumpers, you also won’t have to be worried about looking like a racist, unlike some other seasonal garments.

Our Winter Jumper Can't Be Mistaken For A Minstrel Costume

Available In Every Not-Racist Color

Why is our normal, respectful jumper so unique? The answer lies in its infinite customization. Do you want a jumper in yellow? Sure. Spring green? You got it. Robin’s egg blue? Go for it. We’ve got a jumper in every shade to match everyone’s style, except racists.

Our Winter Jumper Can't Be Mistaken For A Minstrel Costume

Suitable For Every Occasion And Culture

You can wear our jumper to church, class, work, a dinner party, the park, the supermarket, a picnic—pretty much anywhere except a rally for white nationalists. Please do not wear any Bunny Ears merchandise or anything else at a rally for white nationalists. Don’t be naked, either—just don’t be there. Come on, man. Wherever you do choose to wear our jumper, we can guarantee that nobody will disown you or look down on you in disgust. Not for the jumper, at least. Everything else is your responsibility.
Our Winter Jumper Can't Be Mistaken For A Minstrel Costume

People Of All Races Can Enjoy Our Jumper

We know that not all clothes are equal, but all people, regardless of color, are. We promise you that our jumper won’t discriminate on the basis of race, nor will it weirdly resemble outdated stereotypes. It’s made from only the finest materials, none of which include systemic oppression. Everyone will benefit from and appreciate our jumper’s 300-thread-count natural alpaca fiber (except alpacas, I guess, but unlike racial minorities, they are not people).

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We’ve also ensured that all of our designers and specialists are screened thoroughly for any and all signs of racial bias. Our jumpers weren’t made by the hands of cavemen squawking at chalkboards, not bothering to workshop and reject racially insensitive designs. We create our products with love, respect, and tolerance. We take pride in our work and success, but not out of spite or a sense of capitalist competition. If a certain well-known fashion house falls well below the standards of human decency and basic common sense that we so clearly extol, well, who are we to act smug?

Our Winter Jumper Can't Be Mistaken For A Minstrel Costume

Our Jumper Cannot Be Mistaken For A Minstrel Costume

The most important thing for us at Bunny Ears is not making truckloads of money off our products or shaming other fashion houses for their ineptitude. It’s to make people happy. If making our readers happy means not making attire shot straight from 19th-century racial politics, then so be it. Our jumper is for the people, by the people, and worn by you, a people. It functions like any piece of clothing you’ve ever had, except it won’t alienate your friends and family.

Please don’t forget to check out our wonderful jumper now available in the Bunny Ears store. We know you’ll love it as much as we did. Plus, it won’t make people think that you say stuff like “the blacks.”


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