Designer Strap Ons: His Dick May Be Real, But Yours Is 9 Inches of Dior
Read on for the latest trends in dildo couture.
My New Dog Is Adorable, Fits in My Purse, and Commands Me to Kill
You won’t believe who my new dog will want to see cleansed in Holy Blood. Celebrities? Politicians? You? Also I bought her the most adorable new dress.
Our Exclusive Sneak Peek at the New Frasier-Inspired Makeup Line
If you love taupe you’re going to lose your shit for this.
How To Accentuate Your Resting Dad Dick
Every dad has a pants pickle ready to tickle, but we don’t always put it out there in the best light. Well that ends now.
Find The Perfect Purse To Scream Into When You Fail
Just make sure the purse is strong enough to hold your rage.
We Tested $20,000 Worth Of Moisturizers Because We’re Mad With Power
It began as a lazy reason to create some more fine Internet Content. It ended with a morbid obession that brought us to the brink of perpetual moistness.
You Can Only See This $4300 Invisible Dress if You’re Truly Chic
We would publish photos of the dress, but those unfitting of the dress won’t be able to see it, feel jealous, and then report us for posting images of naked women. Please don’t hate us because our eyes can see a fabric that represents the epitome of haute couture!
Check Out Our Winter Jumpers With Absolutely No Implications Of Blackface
Could you imagine if someone actually made a blackface jumper and sold it?
These Winter Turtlenecks Will Make The Most Of Your Choking Fetish
Yes, if you long for a really fuzzy pair of hands around your throat these amazing winter turtlenecks are the perfect way to blend your kink with your couture!
I’d Quit My Fashion Job But I Love Dressing Rich People As Literal Dicks
For me, it started small. It was a beanie that looked like a dick.
The Hottest Snow Gear You Can Still Fuck In
We would never want to cramp your hump-pumping with the cruel reality of below freezing weather.
If Your Shoes Aren’t Transformers, What The Fuck Is Even The Point?
I have goddamn robot shoes. What now?
Cute Purses That Won’t Hold Your Emotional Baggage
This third one definitely won’t help with your crippling social anxiety!
You Will Not Look Good In Any Of These Chic Seasonal Hats
Don’t even bother trying to cover up that horrible potato head
The Newest Face Mask Trend Is Winning A Kid’s Choice Award So Nickelodeon Will Slime You
If you’ve tried all the face masks, you’ll love this hot new trend where you win a Kid’s Choice Award so Nickelodeon will give you a slime face mask.
These Are The Beauty Essentials We Chose When Literally Forced At Gunpoint
“Look out! Macaulay Culkin has a gun!”
It’s Not Too Late To Start Knitting A Fall Scarf You Will Never Finish
Autumn is the perfect time to tackle a project like knitting a beautiful scarf, one that could finesse your whole look if you finished it, which you won’t.
Fresh And Flirty Tips For Dressing Like Your Favorite Serial Murderers
Check out our exclusive serial killer style guide for fall 2018.
African-American Style Staples To Convince White People You Aren’t Going To Rob Them
Here at Bunny Ears, we’re always busy promoting African Americans, as well as African American styles and traditions. And while we love celebrating much of African Americano, we have to admit to a more…unsettling truth: black people make a lot of white people uncomfortable, which, in turn, makes black people feel unsafe. It’s a story […]
Ethically-Made Culturally Appropriative Halloween Costumes—Finally!
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve had a costume bucket list; things and people I’ve always wanted to be. But due to the rise of the PC police, keyboard warriors, and people with “ethics,” many of the costumes on my list are now considered offensive—or even straight up racist! I’m not here to offend […]
The Beginner’s Guide To Your Best Battle Lashes
Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide, our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. This week we’ll be taking you through: The Beginner’s Guide To Your Best Battle Lashes The eyelashes are the secret weapon in every woman’s beauty arsenal, and we mean […]
Fall Fashion Tips To Thwart The Massive Government Surveillance Conspiracy Against You
These days, it seems like everyone is on one watch list or another, even if—unlike the Bunny Ears office—your parking lot isn’t filled with shotgun shells and wrecks of the remote-control drones we were shooting at while extremely intoxicated at 4:00 AM because we thought THIS WAS AMERICA. LAND OF FREEDOM. As you might imagine, we […]
Bunny Ears Reviews Four Incredible Lifestyle Products
We know you’re a discerning consumer with impeccable taste. Because you want and deserve the best, we’ve hand-selected a few popular products and given them rigorous reviews to ensure they’re worth your time and money. We’re tough critics, but we think you’ll also find us fair. Travel Acupuncture Kit We all know that acupuncture soothes […]
I Thought My Clay Face Mask Clogged My Sink But I Actually Created An Unstoppable Golem
I’ve tried all kinds of skin care routines, but nothing really fit until I discovered this amazing face mask. It’s a very thick clay mask that feels great on the skin and really sucks the dirt out of pores. Eventually, though, I ran into some trouble with the thick clay clogging up my sink. At least, that’s […]
Forget Sunscreen, Moisturizer and Wound Dressing—Try Mack’s Grease!
Forget moisturizer, anti aging cream, acne products, facial cleanser, medical hazard eye wash, propranolol, peanut butter so your dog will take her pills, lip balm, wound balm, elbow balm, elephant balm—forget all the balms! Forget cyst rub, antifungal cream, antibacterial cream, engine lube and Abreva. In fact, forget going to doctors, dentists, and car mechanics […]
How To Dress Like A Boss When Your Boss Is A Dog Who Inherited A Fortune
Navigating the minefield of corporate America is tough for everyone, even celebrity lifestyle guest bloggers. I realized recently that I’ve gotten neither a promotion nor a raise, not even the customary 1.5% cost of living bump, in three years. Luckily, I figured out what I needed to do. I needed to start dressing like a boss. My […]
PTA Fashion Essentials: How To Show The Other Moms You Rarely Get Day Drunk Anymore
I guess some people would claim it’s my own fault that the PTA moms don’t want me to hang out anymore. You wear one inside-out bikini to your daughter’s kindergarten graduation, and all of the sudden, it’s “I’m sorry, I already made plans for the weekend” and “Oh, we’re not inviting the whole class to Tegan’s […]
We Tried The Newest Face Mask Trend: Wearing An Old Person’s Face To Absorb Their Wisdom
[EDITOR NOTE: This article contains Amazon Affiliate links to certain products. If you buy stuff, we get money.] Lately, I’ve been feeling a little “ugh.” and it’s not just because the nation has become a living Salvador Dali painting or the fact that my rose petal cleanse ended in a total lack of fairy sightings. I […]
A Beginner’s Guide To Indoor Plants
Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide to [Blank], our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. Life is full of exciting opportunities, and while it’s fine to tackle a new adventure on your own, we here at Bunny Ears know that it’s better […]
Dependency: A New Line Of Bunny Ears Perfume For The Alcoholic In Your Life
You hit the club dressed to the nines with whatever you found lying on the floor. Your heart works overtime to match that nasty beat, sweat rising from your pores. You see a sexy someone. You lock eyes. They pick up speed. Your bodies meet, they lean in… “Jesus Christ, how much have you had […]
These Corsets Will Make Your Waist So Tiny You Faint Straight Onto His Dick
Everything old is new again: unvaccinated children, unfiltered water, and now, corsets! Thanks to celebrities like the literal hourglass in Aladdin, waist training and corsetry are back. We’re always on-trend here at Bunny Ears, so we’ve retained a staff corsetiere. Gertrude may be severe, but she gets results! We can’t wait to teach you how […]
Save Time by Putting Your New House Plants Straight in These Festive Garbage Cans
Congratulations, new plant parents! A lot of lifestyle blogs waste your time recommending beautiful containers for your new plant babies, like origami-inspired ceramics or rustic converted claw-foot tubs. We recognize that these things may have their uses, but you know as well we do that you’re not capable of keeping anything alive, so here are some […]
2018’s hottest Trend: The Year 1623
Moustaches? Vegans? Those weird penny-farthing bicycles? Are these some of the images that pop into your mind when you think of a “hipster”? In the past you may have been correct, but I have spent some time in the field recently, and am here to report that America’s “coolest” are now throwing away their bowler […]
Lifestyle Tips I Learned From the Cadavers on Bones
Television inevitably influences the fashion sense of its viewers (raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimized by “the Rachel”), though you may not think a series like Bones, focusing as it does on the maggot-covered remains of terribly unfashionable people, has much to offer in that regard. Well, I’m here to tell you that […]
Contour Your Cat’s Nipples So They’re Less Disgusting
Regardless of their sex, your cat can have anywhere from 4 to 10 nipples, because God hates cat owners and wants to punish us. They’re horrifying, and they love showing them off like common whores. I’ve been to every vet in Los Angeles County and they all refused to remove my cat’s unsightly nipples, so […]