Contour Your Cat’s Nipples So They’re Less Disgusting
Regardless of their sex, your cat can have anywhere from 4 to 10 nipples, because God hates cat owners and wants to punish us. They’re horrifying, and they love showing them off like common whores. I’ve been to every vet in Los Angeles County and they all refused to remove my cat’s unsightly nipples, so […]
Bungee Cord Bikinis Anyone Can Wear, Whether You’re An Instagram Model Or A Nissan Cube
To end stressful and frustrating swimsuit shopping this year, we have narrowed down your options to the most stylish swimsuit on the market, the bungee cord bikini. From curvier frames to athletic body types, we’re helping to make sense of your endless swimwear options and will help pick the best ones to flatter your frame. It doesn’t matter if […]
Hella Chic: Propeller Beanies With Optional Motors And Neck Clamps
We know many of you read this blog to stay up-to-date on all the hot Hollywood trends. In the past we’ve broken such fashion explosions as iridescent capes, the latest in mascot chic, and plastic wallet chains before they hit boutiques. Our goal is to give our readers the opportunity to get in as early […]
Meet the Amazing New Headwear That Will Balance Your Aura and Be Your Best Friend
Sunburn. Rain. A sudden drop in temperature. Your head does not deserve these things. Stress. Imbalance. Toxicity. Your body and soul do not deserve these things, either. It’s all enough to give someone a headache. And that’s where the Felicitus L-9 comes in. Maintain your internal balance, and indulge only positive environments, and you will […]
Public Executions And Fashion: What To Wear While You Watch A Man Die
Maybe you live in a troubled nation where the forces of evil reign over the powerless; where the corrupt feed on a diet of fear and hatred; where information is suppressed and dissenters are silenced; where the defenseless and the undesirables are expelled, imprisoned, or worse. Or maybe you don’t live in America or in […]
How To Look Pregnant Enough To Do Literally Whatever You Want
While I’m at home, enjoying my maternity leave, I’m reflecting on all of the great looks I’ve worn throughout my pregnancy. Let me tell you, maternity fashion isn’t as easy as it may seem. But, take my advice, and you too can look like the most adorable mom-to-be out there. I say, be proud of […]
Fun Spring Manicures That Leave Clues to a Murder
Hey Bunnies! It’s that time of year again: The days are getting longer, the temperatures are rising, and you’re totally itching to break out a fresh new spring manicure. Plus, Detective Ramirez is circling ever closer to the unspeakable truth that only you know, but will never be able to bring yourself to say aloud. […]
The Hot New Fashion Trend of 2018 – Wearing The Flesh Of Your Enemies
We’re already several months into the new year, and odds are you’re still wearing the same dirty old wardrobe from 2017. Fearful of making some terrible error in fashion, you’re clinging to the dusty threads that by all rights should’ve been mothballed, or, better yet, burned, the instant the clock struck midnight on January 1st. […]
Hot Looks for A Night Out on The Vegas Strip
Move over Paris and New York, Las Vegas has got something to say about fashion. The scene here is all about showing off your body, with complete disregard to the actual shape, size and proper fit. When you’re dressing for a Vegas night out, you leave any regards to common decency at home and show the […]
Make Your Torso Famous With These MUST-HAVE T-Shirts
A heartbreaking statistic has recently been brought to our attention: Less than 1% of the population is famous. Here at Bunny Ears, where most of us have been famous for most of our lives, this is difficult to understand. Have you maybe just… tried being famous? Listen, whatever your reasoning, we can assure you, life […]
Avoid Fashion Faux Pas When Digging Through Your Neighbor’s Trash
Have you ever eyed a particularly attractive garbage can and wanted ever so desperately to rummage through its bewitching contents, but just didn’t have on the right scarf? Have you ever felt shame when sifting through your neighbor’s trash can because you wore socks with sandals that day? This is the article for you. Here […]
Mascot Chic on the Runway As Biscuit LeGravee Introduces His New Fall Collection
All the thrill of a luxury box came together with all the extravagance of breakfast cereal and expensive, watered-down beer last night for the big reveal of designer Biscuit LeGravee’s new Mascot Chic fall 2018 collection, at Paris’ Chateau De Deudoux’s D’Angelo D’artagnan pavilion Clad in puffy couture augmented with such touches as Persian peacock […]
Fashion Finders: Searching For Style At A Police Auction
Welcome to Fashion Finders! Your go-to source for finding hidden haute couture treasures off the beaten path. Any fashionista worth their salt knows all the hottest retailers in NYC, London, Tokyo, etc. But to be on the bleeding edge of style, you need to be ahead of the crowd. You need to take the road […]
Hoodies: Zip-Ups vs. Pull-Overs (A Definitive Guide For Garbage People)
The debate is as old as the internet itself. Who knows, it may be even as old as the sweater itself – we have no way of knowing. And yet still, today, in 2018, the argument rages on: which type of hoodie is superior: the zip-up or the pull-over? You may be asking why, at […]
The Beginner’s Guide To Ethical Fur: Accentuate With Whole Live Animals
Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide to [Blank], our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. Life is full of exciting opportunities, and while it’s fine to tackle a new adventure on your own, we here at Bunny Ears know that it’s better […]
The Hottest Mid-Post-Winter-Pre-Spring Trends: 2019 Edition
Think about a heavy coat and also goggles.
2019 Swimsuit Trends For Every Body As Long As They’re Skinny
Swimwear is no place to abandon ANY of your sisters, that’s why we’ve got the perfect swimsuits for every gal whose body fat percentage we accept as okay!
Ask A $715 Cashmere Beanie
You have questions, this luxurious cashmere beanie has answers. Everything from relationship advice to grooming habits, this cashmere beanie can help!
Cultures You Can Safely Appropriate Because They Don’t Have Internet
It’s hard to not want to dress in the styles of other cultures, especially when you were born into something as boring as white! But romanticizing the aesthetics of a world you weren’t raised in, yet very much respect purely for fashion’s sake, can no longer be done without accusations of cultural appropriation. So thank […]
Foreskin Pants Are The New Boyfriend Jeans
Men probably aren’t going to just hand their foreskin over, like the selfish, unstylish pricks they are.
Fall Trends: What’s In (Plaid!) And What’s Out (All Of Your Most Closely Guarded Secrets)
To make sure you don’t get caught dead with last year’s trends, here’s a round-up of what’s in and what’s out this fall.
The Best Gifts For Father’s Day (And Yes They Are All Ties)
Hey, these are amazon links. If you actually buy some stuff we get a little bit of money. HISDERN Plaid Tie And Handkerchief Ok, Fine. Soophen Mens Necktie Sure. ABP Ties For Men: Set Of Two Fuck it.
Buy All The Baggy Pants You’ll Need In 20 Years In Bulk Now
Fashion is cyclical. What used to be popular decades ago will be popular again. (Get ready for powdered wigs and not showering!) That’s why it’s crucial that you buy all the baggy pants you’ll need in 20 years in bulk now so you’re ready when they become popular again. Don’t think baggy pants could ever […]
I Will Passionately Defend My Middle School Whispstache
Hello, concerned adults and classmates! I’m a man now. I’m sorry you feel so threatened by this that you need to pretend your problem is with my beautiful lip fringe. Being a man means I can wear the same underwear for two weeks, shout horrible slurs playing PUBG, and start rumors about Anya using special-order jumbo […]
7 Hot Jackets You Can Tie Around Your Neck Like A Cape
Congrats, you’re a superhero now. Off to save the day!
Six Spring Divorce Court Looks Guaranteed To Give Him Full Custody
If the nanny isn’t watching these kids YOU shouldn’t have to. Check out our divorce court wardrobe advice and make sure HE gets custody.
Spring’s Hottest Looks Straight From The Runway
Spring is around the corner and if you’re an aspiring fashionista like me, you’ll want to get your hands on these latest must-have items. I’ve scoured the runway searching for the best finds and I’ve got five here that do not disappoint! I’ll be rocking these pieces all spring long. Trust me, you’ll want to […]
How To Look Like A French Girl, Specifically Children’s Media Sensation Madeline
The French have it all: style, class, universal healthcare, funny accents – basically everything we’re striving towards. You may only be able to dream of living above a Parisian cafe, hon-hon-hon-ing at people and not being bankrupt by medical bills, but there’s no reason you can’t look like a French fashion plait, specifically classic children’s […]
Flowy Dresses That’ll Make Wind Go, ‘Whoosh! Me Wanna See What’s Under There!’
We’ve got looks are so flirtatiously feminine that they’ll literally make the sky blast gusts of wind up your skirt like the top dog on your neighborhood’s predator watchlist.
Get That Look: Grimace
Use this guide, and everywhere you go, people will think that you’re the real Grimace!
Designer Strap Ons: His Dick May Be Real, But Yours Is 9 Inches of Dior
Read on for the latest trends in dildo couture.
My New Dog Is Adorable, Fits in My Purse, and Commands Me to Kill
You won’t believe who my new dog will want to see cleansed in Holy Blood. Celebrities? Politicians? You? Also I bought her the most adorable new dress.
Our Exclusive Sneak Peek at the New Frasier-Inspired Makeup Line
If you love taupe you’re going to lose your shit for this.
How To Accentuate Your Resting Dad Dick
Every dad has a pants pickle ready to tickle, but we don’t always put it out there in the best light. Well that ends now.
Find The Perfect Purse To Scream Into When You Fail
Just make sure the purse is strong enough to hold your rage.
We Tested $20,000 Worth Of Moisturizers Because We’re Mad With Power
It began as a lazy reason to create some more fine Internet Content. It ended with a morbid obession that brought us to the brink of perpetual moistness.
You Can Only See This $4300 Invisible Dress if You’re Truly Chic
We would publish photos of the dress, but those unfitting of the dress won’t be able to see it, feel jealous, and then report us for posting images of naked women. Please don’t hate us because our eyes can see a fabric that represents the epitome of haute couture!