Fun Spring Manicures That Leave Clues to a Murder
Hey Bunnies! It’s that time of year again: The days are getting longer, the temperatures are rising, and you’re totally itching to break out a fresh new spring manicure. Plus, Detective Ramirez is circling ever closer to the unspeakable truth that only you know, but will never be able to bring yourself to say aloud.
So in the spirit of fabulous seasonal nail inspo, and also, justice for those who can no longer seek it for themselves, here are 5 fresh spring manicures that also leave clues to a murder. Finally!
“Check The Attic” in Nude Gels
Nothing says spring quite like a nude gel nail, and nothing will lead Ramirez to the dump site faster than an exact location in bold print. Alternative nail-based messages can include a simple latitude and longitude, or of course, “Johnny’s in the crawl space.”
A Significant Bank Code in Glitter
Did you know that an inordinately high percentage of murders are committed for financial gain? We bet Ramirez does. A significant bank code delineated in glitter (preferably over a pastel color palette) will definitely prompt the DA’s office to finally start asking the right questions about the disappearance timeline. Plus, your nails will look LIT.
Cake your nail beds in dirt
While perhaps unorthodox for a typical mani, this will likely remind Ramirez that it wasn’t raining that night, so why was there mud on the landing?
Patrick Swayze’s Face On Each Nail
We know what you’re probably thinking: Isn’t Patrick Swayze’s face on each and every one of my finger nails more of an autumn look? But hear us out. Everyone who sees Patrick Swayze’s face thinks one of two things without fail: Ghost or Road House. Clearly, Road House doesn’t make a whole lotta sense in the context of your current situation and will thus quickly be eliminated as a clue by any keen observer. This leaves Ghost, aka, the movie where Patrick Swayze is murdered by his best friend and colleague over a shady business deal. Sound familiar? We thought so, too. While this particular line of reasoning might seem obscure/easy to miss, remember: Ramirez is sharp (and well-versed in classic ‘80s cinema).
This particular manicure not only looks amaze-balls, but it’s a real conversation starter. Specifically, maybe Ramirez will be like, “Hey — I notice your fire nails…have you ever seen material evidence destroyed in a fire?” And you, still unable to voice the immense horrors of which you witnessed in girlhood, can slowly nod while silently motioning towards the groundkeepers’ bungalow.
So there you have it — a few fresh spring manicures that will also hopefully help bring Johnny’s killers to justice. Ramirez has been on the beat a long time, and this might be all he needs to finally nail this (pun definitely intended).