…Woman Credits Bikini Bod to “Thousands of Tiny Stomach Worms…
…Camcorder found in uncle bob’s basement, police investigate…
…10 Out Of 10 Car Salesmen Agree, You Need A New Car…
…Trump revealed to actually be doing the Harlem Shake for the past 18 months…
…2019 NHL Season Put On Ice…
…BREAKING: Grandmother Not Actually As Proud Of You As She Says…
…Waldo still missing…
…AMBER ALERT: Tiffany Amber Thiessen…
…Tropic of Cancer sues Caribbean Medical Board for copyright infringement…
…Quiz: Which 90s Murderer Are You?…
…Study finds that 9 out of 10 studies are for nerds…
…Mannequins found in store window…
…Lindbergh baby missing…
…Cancer and Death to marry… cigarettes devastated…
…Ophthalmologist: Glasses Are Sexy…
Cancer linked to death!
…9 Out Of 10 Dentists Agree: Africa Is Not A Country…
…BitCoins Revealed To Be Pogs All Along…
…Four turtles and a rat found dead of toxic poisoning…
…Dog’s Feet Smell Like Vacuum Cleaner Bag…
…All the news that isn’t really news…
…San Francisco and Oakland make up; will become one city…
…BREAKING NEWS: New Yorkers shocked to learn Staten Island isn’t part of New Jersey…
…Thoughts and prayers found to be cancerous…
…Hats are cool…
…Quiz: Does He Know You’re Illiterate? …
…World Awaits Next Carrot Top Prop…
…The Academy Awards ‘In Memoriam’ Forgets To Mention Macaulay Culkin For The Third Year In A Row…
…Local Mom Still Talking About Tupperware…
…Waldo found… Nope, not him…
…“Specialist” not a real designation…
…For sale: baby shoes, never worn…
…Christmas Scheduled to Happen Again This Year…
…I fucking hate this job… Also, Brian is an asshole…
Cigarettes linked to cancer!
…Forever 21 Turns 34 this year…
…Roast Beef: Lunch Meat or Middle Toe? Little Piggies Respond…
…Scientists find that Vaping is dope AF…
…Quiz: Do You Have A Savior Complex Or Are You Just Jesus?…
…”Peacoat” not what name suggests…
…Forks and outlets: you decide…
…Colonel Sanders Found to Have Never Served in the Military…
…AMBER ALERT: Amber Tamblyn…
…4-8-15-16- … eh, Lost sucks…
…AMBER ALERT: Spoon; Last seen running away with a Dish…
…15 found dead in Warner Bros. Water Tower, at the Warner Movie lot…
…Entertainment personality ahead in the polls…
…God found dead in space…
…Medieval Times to get modern update…
Toria Sheffield
Toria Sheffield

Author - Carb Eater - Editor

Toria Sheffield's work has appeared in places like Reductress, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, and The Huffington Post Blog. She's won the Gold Prize for Comedy in the Page International Screenwriting Awards, and once made a web series called "Lawyers in Space" that nobody "got." She lives to make you laugh, and also to eat carbs.