Year In Review: The Best Fetishes Of 2019

December 18, 2019 by , featured in Lifestyle
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The year is coming to a close, which means it’s officially time to rank the best fetishes of 2019! Believe us when we tell you there were a ton to choose from (it turns out the world is a really gross place), so this wasn’t easy. However, after weeks of intense research and internal debate, we compiled the top 10. Enjoy!

10. That Long, Hard Tetris Block

Yep, some people get off on sliding that long, hard block into just the right hole. We’ve been told it’s “both highly satisfying and arousing.” Intrigued? You can find out more here.

9. Getting Slimed

The slime fetish is predominantly found among adults who came of age in the ’90s when Nickelodeon aired footage of attractive celebrities getting “slimed” on basically a daily basis. Think it might be for you? Read about it here.

8. Dick Farts

“Dick farting” is the act of making flatulence sounds on your partner’s dick with your mouth—ideally for both your arousal. Click here to find out the best ways to achieve realistic fart noises (it can be harder than it seems).

7. Emotional Availability

This is for you kinky readers who get turned on by the thought of a non-dysfunctional, totally emotionally available potential partner—despite likely never having ever met one in real life. You nasty, girl! Find out the deets here.

6. Targeted Internet Ads

Okay, this one might sound a little weird … but what’s hotter than the unexpected intimacy of internet ads tailored specifically to you? Some people say they feel more “seen” by anonymous ads than by their actual real-life partner. Read more about it here.

5. Soup Porn

Based on a video that appeared on Reddit once for a mere 37 minutes, soup porn consists of two or more sexual partners sitting in a giant pot filled with soup. They kiss as a “chef” stirs the broth with a giant spoon and says things like, “Mmm, this is gonna be good!” Is this making sense? You know what, maybe just read the full article about it here.

4. Docking on Your Bros

This one’s for the super straight, definitely-not-gay alpha male types who just want to gently dock their dicks on their friends’ dicks for a while—and yes—maybe have an orgasm. If you’re a totally straight dude who absolutely loves pussy all day, every day, but also likes the sound of this docking business, you can find out more about it here.

3. Boring Dudes

Not everyone is turned on by mysterious guys who drive helicopters and wanna take you to their “secret sex room.” Some people out there get genuinely wet/hard for dudes named Carl who would “really like to buy the groceries on his card so he can get the points—you can Venmo him later if you want though.” And that’s okay. If you’re interested in exploring your kink for boring dudes, we highly recommend this informative article.

2. Those Gummy Sharks with White Underbellies

Frankly, we were surprised this is a thing—but then we remembered the world is batshit and this is maybe one of the least crazy things happening in it right now. So if you go from six to midnight just thinking about those delicious little gummies, find out more about it here.

1. Garfield Erotica

This is exactly what is sounds like. Here’s pics.

There you have it! The best fetishes of 2019. Let us know if there’s any we missed.

Image: Unsplash


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