The New Sega Mini Is Cool, But My Parents Are Still Divorced

March 4, 2022 by , featured in Video Games
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If there’s one thing I love, it’s nostalgia. Which is why I was STOKED to pick up the new Sega Genesis Mini. I was hoping the throwback gaming system would take me back to a simpler time. A time when Saturdays meant cartoons, POGS ruled the playground, and my parents were still in a loving marriage. Turns out, while it’s definitely cool, nothing can make my family whole again. Read my full Sega Mini review below, I guess.

When Good Times Go Bad

I had a wonderful childhood up until 1994. The early ’90s were filled with laughter, baseball games with dad, singing Toni Braxton with mom—all the good stuff. While they held their daily “meetings” in the car, I’d joyfully sit in the living room playing my Sega. I figured they were planning something special for me, or saying how much they loved each other. Turns out they were just whisper screaming. When they finally got divorced, they said it wasn’t my fault. But I knew it was.

A New Hope

Flash forward to earlier this year when the Sega Mini was announced. I was going to be able to play all my favorite games again. Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Toe Jam & Earl, and countless more. This was the glowing ray of sunshine I so desperately needed (it’s been a rough few years).

Back to Reality

Now I actually have the Sega Mini, and yes, the features are incredible: over 40 games fully loaded, 256 MB of RAM storage, 512 MB flash memory, and that radical metallic logo on the box that will put a smile on the face of any true ’90s kid. The games are just as fun as ever and they look fantastic on my 4k TV, plus the system comes with two controllers so I can invite a pal over to play. But at the end of the day, my mom still lives with my dad’s ex-best-friend (Hank) and my dad still refuses to go to his sex addiction meetings. And nothing can ever, ever change that, and it’s still all my fault.

All in all, I give the new Sega Mini a 9 out of 10. It’s fantastic, but it can’t change the past.

Images Unsplash, Target

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