Welcome To The Bunny Ears Sex Issue, Which Is Mostly Just Garfield Erotica

April 30, 2019 by
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Draw the curtains and lock the door, because Bunny Ears is getting steamy. Over the coming month, our saucy sex issue will explore the erotic side of self-care through the lens of subjects as diverse (and spine tingling!) as how to keep the spark alive in a long-term relationship, what hot new toys on the market will drive you wild, and why we’re continuously driven towards Garfield erotica on long, lonely nights.

Our 30 Day Guarantee

We guarantee that by the end of these 30 days you’ll feel more sexually confident, have more satisfying orgasms, and have consumed more Garfield erotica than you even knew existed. Whether it’s Jon and Liz finally consummating their relationship by manically relieving decades of sexual tension, an insightful essay on how to maintain a sense of your own erotic power as you approach middle age, or Garfield showing us that he loves lasagna in more ways than one, our attempt to put together a sweeping look at modern human sexuality mostly just ended up being hardcore Garfield fuckfics and we’re not entirely sure why.

DON’T MISS:
Why Won’t John Cena Visit Me in the Hospital?

We’ve assembled over two dozen articles by some of the most talented sex writers out there, even after many rejected our requests for them to write about why Lyman and Jon were really living together, or to spin a tale of Garfield finally letting Odie have a bone, if you know what we mean. Some sex experts came back to us with insightful pieces on how to safely explore an unusual fetish. Others discussed why it’s psychologically important to examine, without hesitation or self-judgment, why a subject normally seen as decidedly non-erotic can arouse such primal cat-like feelings in a person. If you have a powerful love of clowns, statues, or, to name another random example, stories where Garfield comes to life and Jim Davis shows him just how grateful he is for all the big beautiful cat has done for him, you’ve come to the right place.

 

Let Us Guide You

Modern sexuality is a complicated spectrum, and we want to help you explore it. Long gone are the days when adults were told that the only responsible sexual relationship was long-term heterosexual monogamy. We encourage readers who feel that they have different sexual needs to responsibly go wherever their urges take them. Whether that’s exploring their bisexuality, committing to a safe and consenting polyamorous relationship, or endlessly speculating on who (and where!) Arlene has left the sensual touch of her lipstick. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with traditional monogamy either, and we’ll touch on the contemporary challenges that straight couples face, whether it’s coping with rapidly changing gender norms or debating whether a relationship between an adult human and an adult-sized Garfield plushie can and should be recognized by the state.

DON’T MISS:
An Oral History Of The Bath Bomb 

So whether it’s the perils of modern dating or just the question of precisely what Garfield has been stuffing Pooky with for all these years, there will be something in this very special month of Bunny Ears for everyone. Enjoy, and be sure to return next month, where we’ll examine the complexities of the modern workplace, and also other body parts of Dilbert’s boss that are just as pointy as his hair.

IMAGES: By Katie Goldin


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